Share this page!

Corey Quinn Profile picture
Twitter logo
22 Jan, 16 tweets, 1 min read
So I bought two accounts on your service--one for personal use, and one for business use. Please react, large companies!
Microsoft: WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING OH MY GOD PLEASE KILL ME AND END MY TORMENT
Slack: You're my favorite two daily active users.
Google: Fuck your business account, why would you pay us? What is wrong with you?
LinkedIn: Has either account tried premium?
GitHub: Two accounts? Sure. Okay. Okay. Sure. Your green squares graph is gonna suck.
Amazon: there are disturbing and weird crossovers between them, like your MFA—but nevermind that. Every time you spin up a new AWS account you're New To Us and must be onboarded.
Apple: WTF is a business?!
Twitter: Your account is temporarily restricted.
Dropbox: Would either account be interested in some nonsense that has nothing to do with "a folder, synced everywhere?"
MongoDB: We lost both of your accounts. Oops.
Netflix: Between those two accounts, you currently have 40 profiles spread across all 6 continents we serve. This is... fine.
Oracle: We have no idea what a personal user account might be, but we're going to audit you just the same.
WebEx: Can we take you out to dinner? You're 40% of this quarter's net new sales.
OnlyFans: I'm sorry--did you say a business account? And you're not a sex worker? Can you please explain this to one of our product managers, because we're highly confused.
The IRS: We're going to audit the piss out of you just as soon as we can find an auditor who takes one look at this thread and doesn't quit on the spot.

• • •

Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh
　

Keep Current with Corey Quinn

Corey Quinn Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!

PDF

Twitter may remove this content at anytime! Save it as PDF for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video
  1. Follow @ThreadReaderApp to mention us!

  2. From a Twitter thread mention us with a keyword "unroll"
@threadreaderapp unroll

Practice here first or read more on our help page!

More from @QuinnyPig

Corey Quinn Profile picture
21 Jan
One of my favorite recruiter stories is how one once sent me an unsolicited anonymized résumé out of the blue (spam, basically).

It turns out it’s not exactly hard to figure out whose résumé it is. I reached out directly, interviewed them, and hired the person.
A bit more detail: I originally reached out to figure out if the person was aware their résumé was being spammed out.

“No! My god that’s awful!” We kept talking, they applied directly, and there you have it.
It’s true. That’s how I met / hired @setient.
Read 4 tweets
Corey Quinn Profile picture
20 Jan
Let's go back in time and put on my Analyst / Marketing pants. It's years ago, I'm advising @elastic, and @awscloud has just come out with "Amazon Elasticsearch." This feels bad, since (as attested in court) they didn't give a heads up, and there's the danger of brand confusion.
First, I've gotta admit that I'm fighting a rearguard action in some ways. "Elastic Compute" predates the founding of the company and its trademark by a lot, and there are a bunch of other "Elastic" terms people equate with AWS.
In effect, the odds are basically zero that people already aren't equating our stuff as being an Amazon offering. I'm only half kidding when I suggest "Stretchy-Go-Findy" as an alternate name.
Read 10 tweets
Corey Quinn Profile picture
20 Jan
Another day, another "fuck you for paying us" from Google.
If you don’t think sharp edges like this on your consumer products shape opinions of your business (read as: cloud) products, you’re dead wrong.
(This is my “personal” account; it’s my 20 year old vanity domain for personal email; nobody else has an account on the domain. The only way to have a custom domain is to pay Google—which I’m normally okay with until I hit nonsense like this.)
Read 5 tweets
Corey Quinn Profile picture
14 Jan
This will sure show @awscloud! No way they'll be able to create Amazon Elasticsearch a... second time.
Yes. That is exactly the *point* of open source. Don't like it? That's valid! Don't go open source. But to claim that @awscloud and others are somehow doing something underhanded is just flat out incorrect. Image
As @vmbrasseur points out, using @elastic or Kibana are now actively business risks that your company needs to manage.

anonymoushash.vmbrasseur.com/2021/01/14/ela…
Read 4 tweets
Corey Quinn Profile picture
14 Jan
And now a livetweet thread of a legal conference in the case of C21-31-BJR, Parler LLC v. @awscloud.
Parler suggests "AWS just has to flip a switch and Parler gets turned back on. Parler has been their customer for 2.5 years."
"They've met and conferred over some user content that violates not only Parler's user requirements, but also Amazon's." Yes, they'll do that, whether you want them to or not.
Read 29 tweets
Corey Quinn Profile picture
14 Jan
This one grabbed my attention. I spent two years at @TaosTech. They’re the reason I moved to SF, started my own consulting firm, and met some wonderful people. It’s probably the best job I ever had.

Very savvy move by @ibmcloud.
I have a request to say more. Well okay!

The @TaosTech technical interview is a thing of genius. It's standardized, modeled after SAGE levels, and reshaped how I think about hiring engineers.
At the time my biggest gripe with Taos was that they didn't have a role into which I "fit." With the benefit of hindsight that's not their fault; I don't fit in anywhere, which is why I'm here.
Read 7 tweets

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!

This site is made by just two indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3/month or $30/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!

Follow Us on Twitter!

Like this author's thread?

Get emails when @QuinnyPig has new unrolls!

Check out other threads from @QuinnyPig!

Read all threads by @QuinnyPig