Thread by @R_Denhollander

The tale of the first time Jacob and I have had serious relationship problems:

The 5yr old loves stink bugs and keeps them for pets in her bug box. This apparently inspired the 2 yr old to think very affectionately about the very large spider that was found dead in our garage...

But it was Jacob who told her, in her grief, that maybe it was just sleeping, and would she like to show it to mommy?

He put it in her hand...IN HER HAND and she brought it to me, with the pea she's trying to feed it to wake it up.

It's now sitting on my bookcase...

Because when she brought it to me and I barely kept myself together, he took it upon himself to bring to me much closer and faster. One or both of us might have been running. It was hard for me to tell.

This made Elora very sad...

And the only way to comfort her was to re-engage with said spider and assure her it was OK to really like him. We counted his legs and discussed how spiders made webs, and distance was impossible.

Especially because Jacob helpfully continually suggested that she bring it to me.

She asked to bring him to bed.

She sleeps next to me in a sidecarred crib.

I convinced her to let him nap on the bookshelf instead of her bed. Next to me.

Now he's living there.

And Jacob is a &%":÷%#!!!!!!

Edit: Jacob thinks I need to add that first he tried to dump said spider and 2 yr old was very upset, and that technically she put it in her own hand by taking it out of his, and this makes it better.

Spoiler: It does not make it better. It's still sitting on my bookshelf.