The tale of the first time Jacob and I have had serious relationship problems:

The 5yr old loves stink bugs and keeps them for pets in her bug box. This apparently inspired the 2 yr old to think very affectionately about the very large spider that was found dead in our garage...
But it was Jacob who told her, in her grief, that maybe it was just sleeping, and would she like to show it to mommy?

He put it in her hand...IN HER HAND and she brought it to me, with the pea she's trying to feed it to wake it up.

It's now sitting on my bookcase...
Because when she brought it to me and I barely kept myself together, he took it upon himself to bring to me much closer and faster. One or both of us might have been running. It was hard for me to tell.

This made Elora very sad...
And the only way to comfort her was to re-engage with said spider and assure her it was OK to really like him. We counted his legs and discussed how spiders made webs, and distance was impossible.

Especially because Jacob helpfully continually suggested that she bring it to me.
She asked to bring him to bed.

She sleeps next to me in a sidecarred crib.

I convinced her to let him nap on the bookshelf instead of her bed. Next to me.

Now he's living there.

And Jacob is a &%":÷%#!!!!!!
Edit: Jacob thinks I need to add that first he tried to dump said spider and 2 yr old was very upset, and that technically she put it in her own hand by taking it out of his, and this makes it better.

Spoiler: It does not make it better. It's still sitting on my bookshelf.

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More from @R_Denhollander

28 Jan
I just cannot believe the amount of tone-deaf, we-don't-care, that this organization demonstrates over and over and over again.

Still waiting for justice for abuse survivors btw. Yep. Still. Waiting.
What I find so fascinating and horrifying over and over again, is the actual reality that professionals sat in a room and made these decisions.

Like...someone suggested it (without doing research? Without caring what the research showed??)

And then....
Someone else apparently says "Yeah yeah! Great plan!"

And then they vote.

Actual adults in charge of child safety and allegedly cleaning up an abuse ridden organization sat in a room together and decided this was a good idea.
Read 4 tweets
24 Jan
Around 2 decades ago I remember watching @Dmoceanu speak out at great personal cost. I remember the horrible things that were said, and sharply replying "I don't think we know the full story. I think she's telling the truth, the cost is way too high to lie."

*thread
And thinking "no one puts themselves through this unless it's so much worse than they even say at first." And that cemented my resolve that she was my favorite gymnast.

Years later, I saw @dantzscher eviscerated for telling the truth about the Karolyi Ranch. . .
They said the same things about her that they'd said about Dominique. Because they both spoke up with so much courage, they were my favorite gymnasts from that moment on. I remember telling people "You're wrong. They aren't lying, the cost is way too high. Something is wrong."
Read 13 tweets
4 Nov 20
The importance of leaders, and the tone they set and the policies they push for, can't be overstated.

But I also know this - culture is set first and foremost by the individual actions we take, *and what we excuse, minimize, or refuse to see.*

Thread. Trigger Warning for SA.
In the past few months, 3 professional comedians have added "Nassar" jokes into their comedy routines, including shows hosted on Netflix and broadcast on mainline TV. The jokes related mostly to how good it must have felt to have that "special treatment". The audience laughed.
I did a quick Google image search of my name to try to locate a photo for a journalist, and inadvertently discovered that the search term most often coupled with my name is "body".
Read 9 tweets
13 Sep 20
This.

I'm horrified and outraged at the movie too.

And I also know that sending letters asking for investigations accomplishes nothing, and does nothing for any of the victims of the 70 MILLION images the federal government ALREADY possesses just from LAST YEAR.
We need Senators using their platforms and power to tell the truth about what's really going on in our justice system,and equipping that system with training, funding and accountability so it can actually work.

Don't write a letter asking a broken system for an investigation.
We need Senators who are looking at reform to give victims access to our civil and criminal justice systems.

Without that, an investigation does nothing.
Read 6 tweets
12 Sep 20
This is posturing and using abuse for political purposes. Both sides do it, and I'm exhausted by it.

Let's talk about real reform if you want to stand against child abuse.

Let's talk about the USOPC, a creation of the Senate, which aids the abuse of 100's of kids every year.
Let's talk about Title IX, which applies to minor kids in government schools, and the absolute dearth of protection when they are abused on government property or by government employed teachers.
Let's talk about legislation to ensure that hosting websites, like Pornhub and social media platforms have liability for the videos of violent rape and child sexual abuse that they facilitate and even monetize.
Read 6 tweets
12 Aug 20
I haven't spoken much about this because this has affected me in ways I can't express.

I wait for these calls. Every single day, I am waiting. I pray through the night that I won't get them. Some nights, I'm not sure what I'll wake up to.

(Thread)

jezebel.com/daisy-colemans…
The world, at Larry's sentencing, saw women reclaim their voice. They saw a moment of triumph, and when the world left the scene of our courtroom, by and large, they felt "good". Yes, there had been a tragedy but we - viewers felt - now had justice and victory. Wasn't it over?
I saw something very different. I looked at this precious group of sisters I never thought I'd meet, and wondered if we'd find ourselves missing some of us, a few years later. And we almost have - many times - lost one of us. I saw what was coming when the moment of triumph left.
Read 15 tweets

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