Tweet

Gail Simone

1 Feb, 16 tweets, 7 min read

"Look, I am sorry if anyone took offense at my unstoppable torrent of radioactive breath. I have human friends who are also irradiated and they all know I have nothing but respect for the radioactive community."

#KaijuNonApologies

"Look, if those two tiny chicks didn't want to be eaten, why were they singing to me from a clamshell? Anyway, whatever, I'm sorry."

#KaijuNonApologies

"I was against Matthew Broderick, Day One."

#KaijuNonApologies

"Okay, yes, I did indeed eat that entire outdoor Jazzercise class, but to be fair, I thought they were Power Rangers."

#KaijuNonApologies

"Hey, I have a lot of love for all the flat people of the world, my cousin Gamera married someone he'd flattened."

#KaijuNonApologies

"Frankly, I think a lot of those people were on fire when I got there."

#KaijuNonApologies

"In regards to the huge bite marks on top of the Chrysler Building, I have just one word to say...

...Antifa."

#KaijuNonApologies

"Listen, for the last goddamn time, that was SHIN GODZILLA. I'm VANILLA GODZILLA.

It's easy to remember because my tail isn't a demon nightmare of murder lizards, okay?"

#KaijuNonApologies

"You think I don't see the double standard?

I destroy ONE LITTLE CITY and it's all, 'Oh, he's king of monsters, look out!'

But Gamera is a SPINING FLAMETHROWER in a FRISBEE SUIT OF ARMOR and it's all, 'Oh, he's the FRIEND TO CHILDREN.'"

#KaijuNonApologies

"People, people, I'm supposed to read this prepared statement of...uh...regret and remorse for the...uh...the tragic loss of life and...

Huh.

>crumples paper<

Nah.

Fuck all y'all.

I'm GODZILLA, fam.

I'm OUT."

#KaijuNonApologies

"It was just locker room radioactive breath."

#KaijuNonApologies

"I was raised on the rough streets of Monster Island and if an army of tanks disrespects you, you can't just blow smoke rings and cry, right? Especially with a famous dad.

Anyway, I'm sorry if anyone I stepped on felt bullied. I know that pain."

#KaijuNonApologies

“Sure, if you want to place blame on someone for the destruction of Australia, if that’s just SO important to you, fine, go ahead, fire your giant robot at me, I guess.

But you are draining comity and civility from this whole thing, man.”

#KajuNonApologies

“The names I called Hedorah are not what is in my heart as a person or a giant lizard or whatever and to anyone I have hurt with my careless words or deeds or massive claws, I am truly sorry.”

#KaijuNonApologies

“I believed Boris Johnson.”

#KaijuNonApologies

‘They said the McRib was back.

They lied.’

#KaijuNonApologies

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More from @GailSimone

Gail Simone

@GailSimone

3 Feb

Guys.

Remember a couple weeks ago when I asked for suggestions for good tabletop games to play during quarantine?

And remember when I said a bunch of nice game designers and publishers offered to send me stuff?

And remember when I said I could fit them all on my table?

1/

Well, I wasn’t kidding.

Read 24 tweets

Gail Simone

@GailSimone

3 Feb

I have this wonderful idea of Junji Ito hosting a show on Animal Planet and it’s just weird fucking real-life Junji Ito animals set to weird music.

#JunjiItoAnimalNightmares

#JunjiItoAnimalNightmares

#JunjiItoAnimalNightmares

Now on Animal Planet immediately following all those damn Meerkat shows...

Read 12 tweets

Gail Simone

@GailSimone

31 Dec 20

Cons in other countries don’t separate comics people from the celebrities. So you often spend a week between two cons, getting to know actors, wrestlers, and other famous people.

We always found nearly all of them lovely people.

Guess which group consistently wasn’t?

:)

1/

It wasn’t actors. In general, they have nearly all been really sweet people.

Guess again.

2/

It wasn’t wrestlers. I have had zero bad experiences with any of the wrestlers I’ve met and quite a few were above-and-beyond lovely to their fans.

Guess again.

3/

Read 24 tweets

Gail Simone

@GailSimone

29 Dec 20

Okay, can I share a wholesome story?

It’s short and a little selfish but really was lovely.

Here’s a thing. We have a dear friend who has become a brother to me, he lives in Florida and works at Walt Disney World.

1/

We have ended up adopting him, his brother, and his mom as family, and they have done the same for us, just found family all the way.

We haven’t been able to see them of course, since the pandemic, and it sucks, but we keep in contact all the time.

2/

@LEGO_Group

This year, because we’re stuck at home, hubby and I had considered buying a big @LEGO_Group set, something from the Disney Parks. We had always considered buying one but had just never pulled the trigger. We were going to get either the Disneyland Train or the Castle.

3/

Read 23 tweets

Gail Simone

@GailSimone

23 Dec 20

I have a theory about 2020.

Bear with me...I’ve done the math and it checks out, but I have no way to prove it, so it’s purely theoretical.

At this time.

1/

Here’s the thing...it wasn’t supposed to be this bad.

There are safeguards, you see? Many times when things were going dark, heroes, mostly reluctant heroes, would appear from elsewhere to save us. To set things right.

But this year, they didn’t...why?

2/

When things go bad., it’s because someone messed with the timeline, and someone else has to set it right.

A thousand alternate timelines have been stopped before they could happen, because these chronsl plumbers showed up to fix the leak before it floods the house.
3/

Read 13 tweets

Gail Simone

@GailSimone

20 Dec 20

There are some characters I would like to try writing sometime.

A big one is Supergirl. DC felt they didn’t have a great take on her...I rarely do pitches but they asked, and I wrote what I thought was one of my best ideas ever. I could be biased, but it felt amazing.

1/

It centered around the idea of a character-defining villain, someone scary af to a Kryptonian orphan. The pitch was so badass, and I really wanted to do it. I wanted to put everything I had on the table to make people see Kara as her own, unique thing.

2/

I loved Peter David’s run and some others, but this take was going the opposite way, focusing less on the ‘girl’ part, and a bit more on the science fiction and powerhouse elements of the character.

I wanted her to stop questioning herself.

3/

Read 8 tweets

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