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Patrick Skinner Profile picture
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4 Feb, 4 tweets, 2 min read
It’s hereditary, this Orangey-itis. Mom calls up. She sees a sickly orangey running towards her car. She opens the door & the kitty jumps in. It’s super skinny lady orangey. She tried to pawn her off on me but the rule is whoever first sees an orangey must care for that orangey
My mom tried a great line on me: ‘but this lady orangey is light colored, you don’t have one of those.’ Noooooope.
So my mom has already given Street Orangey two cans of wet food. At her house. That orangey ain’t going anywhere. And when she says I have too many orangeys I can always yell ‘I LEARNED IT FROM WATCHING YOU!!’
Good lord. It’s a devil lady fruit bat. I wish my mom luck.

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More from @SkinnerPm

Patrick Skinner Profile picture
2 Feb
Gonna take some periodic selfies as I hopefully get mutant superpowers. So far I look the same as I did this morning and every morning....
Six hours after second vaccine shot and still no mutant superpowers. And I still look the same as always.
Sorry. More recent selfie...still no mutant superpowers, though.
Read 4 tweets
Patrick Skinner Profile picture
31 Jan
I appreciate the effort to make sure taxpayer money wasn’t wasted ramping up vaccine logistics. Of course the same scrutiny and logic was applied to the Pentagon or DHS or tax cuts for rich people. Right? Of course. Thank god we didn’t waste money on vaccine distribution.
We are the dumbest fading super power. We brag and we brag and we brag but we can’t do anything right. Anything. We fund vaccine development but not distribution. We audit poor people for tax evasion cuz it’s too expensive to audit the rich cuz we cut the budget. And on & on & on
We cut forests down and then brag about carbon emission swaps. We tie health care to jobs and then call everyone a contractor and not an employee so no health care. Then we cut public health cuz the free market is better. Then hedge funds buy hospitals and on and on and on
Read 8 tweets
Patrick Skinner Profile picture
31 Jan
Good lord. My full time job being an Orangey Herder is a bit much. One orangey was behind a palm behind the koi pond. The other was in the old shed. The original Orangey MeanCat was guiding them from the cottage. I’m going to hire some orangey interns for the spring.
I’ve had some serious discussions with the head of their security, a certain Mr. The Baked Potato, and he tells me he’s only in charge of their security when they’re napping and/or having treats of which he can partake, to include but not limited to cheese. He’s no help at all.
The Orangey Internship is a non-accredited nonsensical but important step in a young person’s career path. Duties include:
herding orangeys.
Taking dictation from MeanCat as he works on his memoirs.
Some light felonies.
No power point.
You’ll live in the cottage.
Pay is awful
Read 4 tweets
Patrick Skinner Profile picture
30 Jan
A detainee or inmate in the care of the state is the responsibility of the state. Of all of us. Vaccinate the most vulnerable first and those who look over them. This isn’t complicated unless you’re a monster. We all matter or none of us do isn’t convenient. It’s the truth.
Put it this way: if you’re mad that a bad person gets medical care, then don’t put them in your care. This isn’t semantics or a card trick. They’re in our care. OUR CARE. That they are horrible people has nothing to do with it. In fact it’s the point of it. Care for the least.
I’m so tired of the scary terrorist talk cuz I’ve seen scary terrorists. Ohhhhhh. Just like I now see scary murderers or shooters. Ohhhhhhh. Don’t measure yourself by the standards of their crimes. If you put cuffs on someone, they’re you’re responsibility. Full stop.
Read 6 tweets
Patrick Skinner Profile picture
30 Jan
When you say it’s ok to point the gun at me as long as you don’t threaten to shoot me & so then you point the gun at me & threaten to shoot me as long as you don’t shoot me & so then you point the gun at me & threaten to shoot me & shoot me but don’t kill me & so then...that’s us
In case it was less than obvious, my point is we somehow have this phrase ‘armed protest’ in our insane country and maybe we need to start with that. Armed protests? We are insane
We say all Patriots need to carry guns. And that all Patriots need to carry guns to protests to show the people we elect (or more likely the voters who voted fo the other person) that we will kill them cuz quotes about trees of freedom and blood. That’s perfectly normal, right?
Read 7 tweets
Patrick Skinner Profile picture
28 Jan
Home. Greeted by MeanCat. And then Drunk Uncle Orangey showed up for dinner. I might start sleeping in my car at work. Be safer. So many orangeys loose on the streets of our fair city. Also read about permanent fencing at the US Capitol. Please let’s NOT do that. Lots of options
Ahahah. Here’s video of The Extra Orangey and The Lady Orangey making biscuits and nursing on their favorite blanket literally on top of Big Eyes, who’s watching bemused with The Baked Potato. Bliss.
A love for the ages.
Read 4 tweets

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