Thread by @CatrionaGolden

To lighten the mood & give insight into ehat I think perfectly sums up the DES I present a thread on my first (traumatic) experience of

"The Cluster Games"

(sometimes known as the clusterf**k)

* Other principals, please jump in here with your experiences *

#1

#edchatie

So, I came home from teaching abroad and got a principalship starting Sept 2018. Great! Busy, full on, a million jobs to get my head around, but all going well.

Then, February comes.

Oh SET allocations are out, great! No. Not great.

So begins "The Cluster Games"

#2

The DES releases allocations. You may think these look like a random assortment of hours and minutes for each school that make no sense. You would be right.

Here's a random sample, from Carlow.

First school on the list. That's 71.03 hours.

#3

Yes, 71.03.

25 hours is a full time post. So this school has 2 full time posts, plus 21 hours and 2 minutes a week.

So, clustering begins.

Does this computer programme that spits out random assortment of numbers match them up with other numbers nearby to make a full post?

#4

No, this school has to find another school, reasonably nearby, that has a spare 3 hrs and 58 mins they can give them.

Or, they get someone with 4 hours. So they cluster with them to share the teacher. Then they have 2 minutes that they pass on to someone else.

#5

Back to me.

We were allocated 121 hours. A cut of 4 hours. So instead of 5 full time posts, we had 4 full time posts plus 21 hours.

So that morning, I find out I have to randomly find 4 hours somewhere to cluster with or ONE OF MY PERMANENT TEACHERS LOSES THEIR JOBS.

#6

Completely unknown to me, in my naivety, clustertalks had been ongoing for weeks, months, years even! New to the area, clueless, the only Educate together.

I'm sitting going through the list of schools in Clare, trying to guess who might have a spare 4 hours

#7

Then googling where that school actually was, seeing if it was reasonably nearby, finding phone numbers, calling principals (all who were already sorted because they knew this was a thing).

Stress through the roof. My ignorance of the "system" was gonna cost someone a job

#8

Got a call from a nearby, very kind, principal. Clearly taking pity on the newbie. Says to me he might have the hours I need.

He has 15 extra hours. He needs 10 for renewing a cluster with another school. If they agree, he can give me 4 & he has another school that needs 1.

#9

He couldn't confirm for a couple of days though.

So I'm still calling around fruitlessly, trying to come up with a backup plan.

Tearing my hair out.

#10

Luckily he called back and saved me. Saved that teachers job. The staff mostly none the wiser of the madness of the few days.

His extra 15 hours made 3 different clusters.

#11

In that round of the Cluster Games I heard of schools short 17 minutes and 2 minutes respectively, to make full time permanent jobs.

A job hanging on 2 minutes a week.

Because the DES don't do the clustering and it's a nod nod wink wink high stakes poker game

#12

Today I realised that was in February 2019.

It's due again this year.

And so I begin to mentally brace myself for the Cluster Games Part 2 : Cluster Boogaloo.

New school, new County, need new cluster friends 😭

#13

With the added bonus that this year we have absolutely zero idea of what allocation could be, without having one before, so can't even try to prepare even though I know better what to expect.

Or when it will be 🤷‍♀️

#14

So ends the tale of my first Cluster Games.

And the absolute madness that permeates our education system.

#15

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