Welp. I tested positive for COVID-19 and my brain is exploding.
I created an update video about how it all went down and my thoughts/feelings at this time, I’ll link it here and I’ll also be turning the transcript into a thread:
So in about a month I will have been isolating at home for an entire year, I only left my house for necessities like walking my dog and going to the doctor and I have tested positive for COVID.
I live with my family, my sister is disabled and attends this community care center, and when they re-opened after the original lockdown, along with other schools in Florida, she HAD to go back because if she didn’t she risked losing that level of support entirely.
Throughout the week my sister had been showing cold symptoms and very quickly passed it on to me, and we’re coughing and I have shortness of breath, and because my sister had a runny nose I was like “ok chill, it’s a cold”
Even with just the cold symptoms, I really wanted my family to wear masks inside the house and they didn’t so I would like to warn that even if you see someone having allergies or cold symptoms you [and more importantly THEY] should wear a mask.
This middle part here is just an interesting coincidence; the community care center, they qualify as a “group home” so they’re eligible for vaccines.
My mom tried to get me in there, reminding them that I’m also disabled with health conditions;and they said that aid could give it a shot; I could arrive on Monday and see if they had any extra vaccines.
This news blew my mind! That I might have a chance at a vaccine!
I went through an emotional roller coaster about being so relieved but also just so angry that other disabled people are still waiting and are not being prioritized. I don’t really have words for that and I hope that it changes.
That same day that I got this news and I went through that emotional rollercoaser and thinking “I might be vaccinated as soon as Monday,” we get a text from the community care center that one of the patrons tested positive for COVID.
When we got that text my hands went numb in just terror, I guess, so yeah at this point, I am not feeling well & I have weak lungs. I have shortness of breath & coughing fits & I am losing my voice. So this is why I wanted to try to record this now before it goes away completely.
We got the earliest appointment for Covid testing and received results within 24 hours and my mom, my sister and I tested positive.
We have a program in Miami for multi generational household to try to isolate some members of the house when other members of the house have tested positive. So my brother is gonna do that.
I’m not sure what more there is to say, I have to take this now day by day and my families really scared because everyone in my house has some level of vulnerability and disability.
I will say it’s really hard to be on social media and watch people not taking this seriously and still having parties without masks and hanging out without masks and acting like the pandemic doesn’t exist when people are working so hard to protect themselves
and protect their families and sacrificing so much to try to make that happen and to protect their communities, to protect everyone. And people shit on that and that sucks.
I’ve talked about this before but it has been really psychologically triggering to witness this as someone with trauma that makes them feel like they’re responsible for everybody.
As well as triggers with constantly trying to voice some thing and feeling incredibly unheard or ignored or dismissed or Gaslit and yikes.
And the theme that I felt with my experience very loudly is feeling so close to the finish line and then breaking down right before.
Vaccines are available we have an opportunity to create heard immunity with COVID-19 and we’re so close to the finish line for people to be so reckless now.
Please be responsible and considerate and respectful, of yourself and your communities, and do your best to protect them. We’re almost there.
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I don’t know how I will find it in me to forgive the selfishness of individuals this past year, how they threw disabled/vulnerable people under the bus for their own comforts; for vacations, restaurants, & gyms.
I am heart broken. This will define how I trust ppl moving forward.
When I can get back out into the world and start making new local friends my pre-requisite will be “If in response to the pandemic and a failure of a government, you voluntarily did things that put yourself and others at risk, then DONT TALK TO ME”
My new BumbleBFF bio.
“SEEKING: New friends in the area but only message me if you took the pandemic seriously and did everything you could to keep yourself, loved one, and community at large safe.
(Essential workers, you can come too obviously, as long as you did your best with your circumstances)”
Feeling kinda frozen and nauseous that some relatives of mine are spouting "covid19 is a conspiracy" rhetoric and refusing to wear masks...
It makes me scared for them and it makes me feel like they don't care about me or people like me who are high risk.
This has triggered my anxiety to the point of physical symptoms (dizzy, nauseous, tachycardia) especially that I have to take my sister to another doctors appointment today, in FLORIDA, where the numbers are climbing.
I'm sick at what this kind of thinking means for so many people.
I'm shocked at where this is coming from, from people I miss, from people I thought were careful.
"I miss you... but your actions put me and people like me in danger"
Saw yet another video of someone trying to use ADA to force their way into a store without a mask.
That's not how it works.
They can accommodate you by getting you what you need a different way but you can't endanger others if you cannot wear a mask.
And this is assuming you have a disability that truly prohibits you from wearing a mask, they do exist, and we have to try to continue believing people when they say it VS distrust and hostility as an initial reaction.
Its upsetting that so many people continue to abuse ADA, producing fake documents, certificates, identification, etc. that genuinely disabled people often DO NOT have or own.
This behavior fuels the prejudices and treatment of people who genuinely need these protections.
It's funny how when I refer to how casually ableist language is used, a common response is, "Its not used that way, we don't mean it that way"
But it is extremely clear that you do.
That you will use ABLEISM to mock someone you don't like doesn't make it less ableist!!
There are people witnessing you mock:
-needing two hands to hold a glass, maybe holding it from the bottom
-an affected or slow gait (walking ability)
-wearing diapers
...who also experience these things or know someone who does and now they know where you stand with THEM.
"I won't make fun of it if he discloses his disability"
No no no... no one OWES that to you.
And you don't hold the safety of disabled people over their heads until you're satisfied, until they perform disability the way you want or expect them to.
Do cops, like, not understand that their flashing red/blue lights are essentially strobe lights and (especially while stationary) are an epilepsy seizure trigger and at best just dangerously bright and distracting??
Or do they just not care?
This cop car was parked at the end of a huge trick or treating block with flashing lights and like CONGRATS?!
You possibly just forced some parents to pick up their child covering their face and run back to the car when they just wanted to trick or treat with everyone else?!
I barely made it through with my sister because of our sensory processing issues.
It was so over stimulating that after passing it we did one more house and decided to go home; it was too much.