It's kinda weird how much harder it feels to speak English than it does to read it. For writing, sentences spontaneously compose themselves in my head, just waiting to be written out.
For speaking, it's often as if I have to forcibly hammer my meaning to the kinds of words that would convey the message, and even then it feels like half the nuance I'm trying to convey is lost and I'm super-aware of everything that I feel like I'm mispronouncing.
It's not just a general "I find writing easier than speaking" thing either, since it's accompanied by a yearning to just be able to switch to Finnish where my intended meanings are much more likely to naturally fall into the kinds of shapes that mostly convey my intent.
(And then if I switch to writing Finnish, it's frustrating how even more easy and expressive _that_ still feels than writing in English. Not that I'd mind the ease, but I would like to have a similar sense of fluency with written English too, after producing it for so long.)
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