Share this page!

Oliver Willis Profile picture
Twitter logo
15 Feb, 8 tweets, 2 min read
happy presidents day from the timeline where we beat global warming and didnt invade iraq
"Mr President, Bin Laden determined to attack..."
"Clear my schedule. This is the priority."
"There isn't any connection between Al Qaeda and Saddam, get this shit out of my office."
"I said I wanted a serious reduction in CO2 gases. Be more ambitious before submitting another action plan!"

"Yes Mr President"
this is *my* favorite alternate timeline, lol
"Thanks to the lockbox, we have enough for our supertrain program..."
"Governor Bush came up short in 2000, and if he wants to run against me again in 2004, I welcome the challenge."
"I'm happy to see so many Democrats elected with me on Tuesday night. I'm especially looking forward to working with Senator-elect Obama in my second term..."

*fin*

• • •

Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh
　

Keep Current with Oliver Willis

Oliver Willis Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!

PDF

Twitter may remove this content at anytime! Save it as PDF for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video
  1. Follow @ThreadReaderApp to mention us!

  2. From a Twitter thread mention us with a keyword "unroll"
@threadreaderapp unroll

Practice here first or read more on our help page!

More from @owillis

Oliver Willis Profile picture
17 Feb
to be honest the real disney villain prequel i want is "scar: before the mark."

get into the psychology of why he hates his brother so much he'd kill him, his complicated identity issues where he identifies more with hyenas, how that accent developed. disney i am available.
"Meet your new cubs: Mufasa... and Scar."

SCAR (whispered)
I'm going to kill him some day...
"It's like The Crown, but for lions" - me pitching Disney+ on my Scar series
Read 4 tweets
Oliver Willis Profile picture
17 Feb
They are still doing palace intrigue reporting for 45, even though hes no longer in the palace. What's the excuse now?
"A source familiar tells the Times that Trump took two dumps today, one that could be characterized as 'major,' while the second, though considerably righteous, did not rise to the level of a major bathroom event. I have a Pulitzer."
"Roger Stone, who has been my background source for years, tells the Times that Trump's anal ragers position him as the 'bathroom alpha' ahead of the 2024 primary. This is the kind of stuff I put in the most important newspaper in the world. Amazing, right?"
Read 4 tweets
Oliver Willis Profile picture
17 Feb
"deregulation nation"
"Baby gates as firewood? That's what happens in the deregulated America Republicans want for you and your family" - the opening monologue on my mythical liberal cable news show on Libnet
"In America, baby gates are to protect children, to keep them safe, but when Republicans are allowed to deregulate everything, they become firewood to keep us warm. Because the lights are out. And your family is freezing."

(could do it in that same sing-song cadence as Tucker)
Read 7 tweets
Oliver Willis Profile picture
17 Feb
its like they cut and paste these from 2009 and expect nobody to notice. rinse + repeat bs.
its just always the same shitty take and they just rearrange the words a little bit Image
heres what happened with the last democratic-led stimulus that republicans and conservatives said wouldn't work. im tired of this. they lost the argument. theyre always wrong. Image
Read 8 tweets
Oliver Willis Profile picture
16 Feb
"The deregulation death continues to climb as snowstorms hit America's heartland, we tackle the issue... next"
"So you're saying all of this death and disaster could have been avoided with just a few lines of regulation. And Republicans obstructed it. Amazing. *Looks at camera*" - me hosting my 9pm show on Libnet
"It's just a few lines of text, but Gov. Abbott preferred to go to fancy six-figure cocktail party with his friends at the NRA and rock star Ted Nugent. And now Texans are dead. Wow."
Read 7 tweets
Oliver Willis Profile picture
16 Feb
liberals should have been promoting a narrative about this from this morning, talking about how the failure of deregulation and public investment screwed this up. and now theyre responding, which means you've already lost the fight.
if youre reacting and explaining you have lost. i am honestly tired of pointing this out. it is not a difficult task.
we're always waiting, on what i do not know. but always waiting. we'll clean it up, later! sigh. never works. but here we are again.
Read 5 tweets

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!

This site is made by just two indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3/month or $30/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!

Follow Us on Twitter!

Like this author's thread?

Get emails when @owillis has new unrolls!

Check out other threads from @owillis!

Read all threads by @owillis