The problem with so much of what passes for self-care or wellness is that they are products (generally expensive) that you need to buy. So you have to work harder to afford them which cannibalizes time for community, movement, sleep, nature—the stuff that actually makes you well.
Yesterday I pointed out that self-care is not skin products, face lotions, or supplements.

I got some pushback, all in good faith.

My bone to pick is this: when health and well-being get tied to consumerism, you almost always lose.
1) The consumer cycle relies on you feeling like you are not enough. This is the fuel that pushes you to buy more. That feeling is generally not a healthy or particularly well one.

2) You cannot "buy" health and wellness. These are not luxury products. They are things you do.
I am not at all above consumerism. I enjoy the feeling I get when I buy a new pair of Timberland boots. Or when I put on skin lotion (which I occasionally do). It's nice. But that's not health or wellness or self-care. My issue is that conflating product and health is harmful.
This is not a new belief of mine (if I've been anything on this topic, it's consistent).

If you want to buy stuff, that's fine. But try really hard to disconnect that shit from your health or well-being or self-worth. Otherwise, you'll never be enough.…

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More from @BStulberg

16 Feb
THREAD: Monitoring technology, performance, and the four levels of competence:

1. Unconscious incompetence
2. Conscious incompetence
3. Conscious competence
4. Unconscious competence

Quick summary based on 10 yrs of research and working with high-performers across disciplines. Image
Unconscious incompetence.

No amount of technology is going to help you. All it will do is further confuse you.

What you need here is simple:
-Learning the fundamentals
Conscious incompetence.

Technology can help, especially when paired with coaching. The feedback you get from a wearable or a measurement and tracking scheme (so long as it's accurate) is beneficial to learning your mind-body system, as well as teaching persistence and restraint.
Read 7 tweets
15 Feb
Something I see all the time in my research and writing and talk about frequently in my coaching practice is the need to marry fierce self-discipline with fierce self-compassion.

On sustainable success, peak performance, and career advice.

Self-discipline: Pursuing what one thinks is right despite temptations to abandon it; focus on task hand; showing up consistently, even when you don't want to.

Self-compassion: Being kind to yourself in the midst of struggle; creating space to hold softly what you are feeling.
Research shows clearly that both self-discipline and self-compassion are associated with sustainable peak performance.

Self-discipline is your fuel as you move forward on your respective path. Self-compassion is your guard-rail: it keeps you on course when you go astray.
Read 10 tweets
12 Feb
THREAD: 7 mental habits that work great until they get in your way.

Wisdom is knowing when a helpful quality no longer serves you, and being able to release from it at that point. This is the stuff of next-level performance and sustainable paths to success.

Sometimes we over-glorify perseverance, sticking with something simply for the sake of sticking with it when it would be more skillful to move on.

In doing so, we forfeit opportunity to try other approaches that might be a better fit. (For more: see RANGE, @DavidEpstein.)
Trying Really Hard

To reach a state of flow—the experience of being in the zone, completely absorbed in what you are doing—is to release yourself from trying.

Flow is an absence of conscious effort; as you approach potential peak moments, trying too hard can lead to choking.
Read 8 tweets
9 Feb
THREAD: Research shows if you go for broke you often end up broke. If you swing for home-runs you often end up striking out.

But if you just put the ball in play—over and over again—good things tend to happen.

6 tips on consistency, peak performance, and career advice.

Heroic efforts tend not to end well.

Pulling all-nighters, working out till you vomit, going on extreme diets, etc., may be fun to talk about and even feel good for a bit, but usually end in illness, injury, burnout.

Ignore people's social media posts on this stuff. It's dumb.
If you are addicted to visible progress you will not last long in what you do.

This is why so many people burnout after a big success. Because it's not forever.

-Frame the work as an ongoing practice
-Measure and judge the process
-Let progress be a byproduct of that
Read 8 tweets
6 Feb
As promised from my recent thread on deep reading, here are my 50 favorite nonfiction books. These books have had the most influence on how I think, write, coach, and live. They are wonderful teachers. I am grateful they exist.

In no particular order 👇👇
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
To Have or To Be
Escape From Freedom
The Sane Society
Mastery (Leonard)
Going to Pieces Without Falling Apart
Full Catastrophe Living
The Recovering
Crossing the Unknown Sea
The Wisdom of Insecurity
Suicide (Durkheim)
Radical Acceptance
The True Believer
The Hero with a Thousand Faces
A Liberated Mind
After the Ecstasy, the Laundry
Almost Everything: Notes on Hope
Deep Work
Digital Minimalism
The Craving Mind
The Inner Game of Tennis
Rising Strong
Read 6 tweets
5 Feb
THREAD: deep reading is an absolute joy—good for mind and soul. It is also a competitive advantage for knowledge workers.

Here are 7 insights on nonfiction deep reading. All are based on the latest research and real-world practice.

On how to read more and read better.

Use a hardcopy book 📚

Research shows you comprehend and connect information best when you read physical pages.

Two reasons:
1. No distractions, which e-reading and audiobooks invite (nothing wrong with them, but not the same as deep reading)
2. Brain likes tactile experience
No digital devices nearby.

Even if your phone is facedown on silent, or your laptop is closed and asleep, the mere sight of these devices and everything they represent—not to mention the willpower it takes not to check them—is a huge distraction.

Keep them in a separate room.
Read 10 tweets

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