hardly anything is ever about the thing, it's almost always about the unresolved past things of the observers of the thing
if you wanted to be pretentious about it you could maybe make a case that perhaps there is no such thing as thingness at all, there is *only* unresolved past observer baggage
I don't wanna be the annoying know-it-all guy – everybody's journey is different – but I promised my younger self that I'd represent him into the future: I swear I swear I swear I saw this shit coming like a freight train when I was ~14 and nobody listened to me
a lot of what people like about me, say is cool, etc – is the result of stuff that I built in fear, desperation and anxiety when I saw everyone else marching to the beat of an invisible drummer I couldn't hear. it was agonizing. I don't say this much but I wanted to k*ll myself
I remember this so vividly I'm getting flashbacks now. I perpetually wanted to throw up. people told me I was being dramatic