Thread by @visakanv

I think I have been struggling to accept the fact that I am much more helpful to strangers than to my friends

sentence reads a little weird...

the fact that my presence, my body of work, etc is more helpful to strangers

it feels weird because sharing my knowledge/expertise freely with friends is my love language

but I'm like, somewhat in denial about the fact that they often don't want it, or aren't interested/ready to receive it

idk if this is sth I should be tweeting about, I should probably go journal abt it privately until I get a better sense of what I really know/think/feel about it. especially since this is a place where my friends hang out. I guess I just want yall to know I swear I only mean well

it's just so weird that I have one life where people are constantly telling me how much I've helped them and how much their lives have improved as a result of our conversations etc–

–and when I try to help friends in the same way the success ratio drops from like 80% to 20%

i guess it's like if you're a great manager at work and then you go home and you try to manage your family and they just aren't interested in that, even if you know at some level that they would totally benefit from it... but just not from you

and... it's not ~about~ you either

lol what this suggests to me is like, maybe everybody should just go talk to strangers about their problems

the thing is, some of those strangers who talked to me about their problems... are now my closest friends!! I think this is one of the major tensions here. I'm anxiously realizing that I may have overestimated a bunch of my friends. which is painful

https://twitter.com/visakanv/status/1085043602516992000