Ok...I need to write this. I’ve been contemplating it all day. I’d like to start off by saying I don’t want/need any sympathy or other comments. I know our Twitter community is the best, and that is not why I’m posting this.
This morning, after our spin class, my teacher
Janet, informed us that our workout friend’s husband committed suicide on Saturday. I knew he was depressed. I gave his wife both my psychiatrist’s and psychologist’s phone number. As happens many times, the depression is so severe, it’s practically impossible
to make that call. You can hardly think. The world is seen through an odd veil of darkness that seems will never lift. I was lucky and found great doctors by myself.I was not supported by my family. Depression is not as obvious as a heart problem or cancer, both of which I had.
The physical illnesses I had were cared for very lovingly by my friends and family. When I fell into a year and a half clinical depression, nobody wanted to help me. This is not exclusive to me. This is not the fault of my loved ones. Most people whom have not been
in that place do not understand. I understand this now as do my loved ones, although it’s still something I can’t readily talk about without a bit of push back. It’s not something I talk about with them much. That’s where my wonderful doctors come in. They saved my life
as much as my oncologist and electrophysiologist (my wonderful heart surgeon.). Why am I writing this? Dr. Marselle, my psychologist, says to me all if the time...Jen, write about it. Write it on Twitter. Shout it out loud. Put it into a book. So, I’m writing
about this now. Eddie, my friend’s husband, was called selfish today for taking his life. I had to listen to my heart and Dr. M. in my mind...SPEAK UP. I did. I did at the risk of losing friends because of misunderstanding of an illness. A silent illness. Eddie was not selfish
He couldn’t take the pain anymore. He couldn’t take the invisible pain many people suffer with. He couldn’t think past each minute. He couldn’t think about getting through another day. Nobody wakes up and decides to put a gun inside their mouth and pull the trigger.
I will do what Dr. Marselle says. I will use every platform I can to get the word out about just what mental illness is about. It’s an illness. It’s a disease. It’s not anymore selfish than when my body decided to get cancer. Please help me and let’s do every little
thing we can do to help people understand. The hardest thing for me, as a person who has suffered physical and mental illnesses, is to figure out why they are treated so differently by most people. My friends and loved ones didn’t have cancer when they visited me
but when I had clinical depression, like Eddie, it was brushed aside as something to just get over. As I am writing this today, you can see that depression kills such as cancer can kill. As a matter of fact, the stint on my knees in front of depression as I went through
cancer treatment was closer to killing me than my chemo or my cancer. If you have read this, PLEASE RT. A like doesn’t serve the purpose of getting the word across to take care, watch out for each other, educate yourself on the signs, and most importantly, LISTEN. Listen
and don’t give up on someone who exhibits these. Help them make a call. Take them to appointments if you can. Make sure they take their medications. Listen. Be vigilant. I wrote this for you, Eddie. I will miss you. Please RT this, listen, be aware, be empathetic.
Have patience, don’t judge, educate yourself, don’t pressure, just be there. I will miss you Eddie. I wish I could have helped you more. I hope I am helping people in your memory right now.


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