Thread by @iowahawkblog

The original 1950s Mr Potato Head had appendages with sharp steel spikes, and you stabbed them into actual f'ing potato or banana or whatever, in whatever messed-up array you wanted, and then you would skin and eat it afterwards. We were a harder people then

And if Mom was all out of potatoes? Time to play Mr Little Brother Head

And then we'd sniff model airplane glue and throw Jarts at each other, or be blinded by shattering clacker balls, or take a Wham-O Super Ball in the nuts, because society used to know the value of thinning the herd

I think these things alone sent 5% of American grade schoolers to the morgue in 1972

Bring one of these for recess baseball, and it's a guarantee somebody's going to the hospital