I am once again thinking of beautiful black widow LWJ, in a birdcage veil, smoking from a cigarette holder as he tells the police officer that yes, he is so distraught over his wealthy husband's untimely demise.

Shattered.

Simply crushed.
Anyway. 'Pearls for a Funeral' really awakened something in me, and I'm extremely sad that there isn't more noir-inspired fic for this fandom.

(Link for the uninitiated! archiveofourown.org/works/28822083)
...Absolutely no one asked, BUT.

In the version of this story that lives in my head, WRH forced LWJ to marry him for some complex political/financial reasons.

The Lans were not in a position to refuse, or else their business would've been utterly destroyed by WRH's empire.
And LXC would've been the one to marry WRH. He really would have! But he'd recently eloped with JGY, so he was off the marriage market.

So LWJ had to bite the bullet and marry this awful man For His Family's Sake.

...Speaking of JGY!
WRH's continued existence was (again, for complex political and financial reasons) quite inconvenient for JGY!

Also, LXC was distraught about his brother's forced marriage. And any situation that distresses JGY's husband must be Rectified At Once.
So with LWJ's help, JGY arranges for WRH and his sons to take a flight on the same plane.

Tragically (oh, it's all so very tragic!) the pilot makes a careless error which sends the plane into a fiery cataclysm. There are no survivors. 😔
Which, naturally, means that LWJ inherits all WRH's holdings. We can only hope this vast wealth will console him during his hideous bereavement.

(His late husband's vast wealth, and his brand-new chauffer with the million-dollar smile.)
(Perhaps that chauffer will console LWJ up against various pieces of furniture?

Well, we can only hope this lovely young widower will find SOME way to distract himself after his husband's funeral.)

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More from @cicerfics

27 Feb
Back on my mpreg bullshit, and once again thinking about pregnant!LWJ.

I like to think that he would be one of those people who is just ENORMOUS when pregnant.
Absolutely huge belly.

He stops being able to see his feet when he's about five months along. By month 7, he struggles to get out of a soft couch/bed without help.

His babies are always nine pounds, minimum. Just huge chonky little whoppers of a newborn.
Fat babies! I just think wangxian should have fat little roly-poly babies. Huge cheeks and chubby limbs.

Just.

One of those babies where you look at them, and all you can think is, "THAT IS A FAT LITTLE DUMPLING, RIGHT THERE.

wangxian always make fat babies send tweet
Read 4 tweets
26 Feb
Absolutely obsessed with the idea of LWJ as a nude model for art classes.
Anyone who knows him would be SHOOK to find out he does this as a side-gig. Because he doesn't seem like the type?

But it's actually very impersonal! He's nothing more than a collection of muscles and sinews, shapes and angles, to these artists. It's not erotic or weird at all.
And they love him at the studio! Because:

1) He's drop-dead gorgeous

and

2) He can hold still for literally hours

He's an absolutely stellar live model.
Read 101 tweets
26 Feb
Absolutely love when I'm walking down the sidewalk and I encounter a crow.

Because that crow is obviously not going to move for a PEON like me. It just does a grudging little sideways shuffle, and then goes back to eating whatever detritus it found.
Most wild animals are like, "oh shit oh FUCK a human ohgodohgod!!" And they scramble away as fast as they can.

Not crows!

"FLY away? Oh, honey. It's adorable you think you're worth that kind of effort. 💅 I will scoot six (6) inches to the side, and you will have to make do."
You're so right, little dude. I am not worth it! Don't fly away for the likes of me!

Fucking suburb, you funky little corvids. ♥️
Read 4 tweets
25 Feb
OK, I wanna cleanse myself after my little don't-leave-unsolicited-concrit rant. 😅 I want something soft and good and pure. Something very wholesome and positive.

So talk me about your wangxian-as-parents headcanons!
I know I've talked about this at some length already. But my Most Vital Dadji Headcanon is that LWJ just buys his babies...so many things.

He cannot be tamed! He cannot be stopped! He was put on this earth to spoil his WWX and his babies!
WWX tries to protest that one baby does not need seventeen stuffed animals. Lan Zhan. Please be reasonable. They can't even play with that many toys!

LWJ nods solemnly. Then he fishes his phone out of his pocket and orders an eighteenth stuffie, right then and there.
Read 7 tweets
23 Feb
The general consensus was, "Sure, an ebook would be cool!"

So I'm doing an ebook of 'love, in fire and blood'! I'm doin' it!

But I need some help/input for a couple things!
Number one: if I'm gonna do this, I would love a proofreader. I know there are some typos in the fic that snuck past me.

If anyone wants to do a quick-and-dirty proofread (or, better yet, if SEVERAL people wanna chip in, so I can split the chapters up) that would be amazing.
Let me know if you're interested! I'm just looking for a very rough catch-all-the-lingering typos proofread.

Solid English skills are a must. But no prior editing experience is necessary.
Read 7 tweets
22 Feb
Folks, I am noodling around with the idea of formatting "love, in fire and blood" as an ebook once I'm done with it. With nice little chapter markings, a cover image, a foreword/afterword, etc.
Initially, I just wanted to do this for myself!

Just to formally bring to a close a project that's devoured that last 7-8 months of my life. Just to have a "product" I could hold in my hands, so to speak.
But I wonder if this is something others would be interested in? If I did this, would y'all want to download it?

To be clear, I'm not trying to 'sell' anything. I'm just talking about formatting it as a EPUB/PDF and setting it up somewhere for a free download.
Read 4 tweets

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