Thread by @cicerfics

I am once again thinking of beautiful black widow LWJ, in a birdcage veil, smoking from a cigarette holder as he tells the police officer that yes, he is so distraught over his wealthy husband's untimely demise.

Shattered.

Simply crushed.

Anyway. 'Pearls for a Funeral' really awakened something in me, and I'm extremely sad that there isn't more noir-inspired fic for this fandom.

(Link for the uninitiated! archiveofourown.org/works/28822083)

...Absolutely no one asked, BUT.

In the version of this story that lives in my head, WRH forced LWJ to marry him for some complex political/financial reasons.

The Lans were not in a position to refuse, or else their business would've been utterly destroyed by WRH's empire.

And LXC would've been the one to marry WRH. He really would have! But he'd recently eloped with JGY, so he was off the marriage market.

So LWJ had to bite the bullet and marry this awful man For His Family's Sake.

...Speaking of JGY!

WRH's continued existence was (again, for complex political and financial reasons) quite inconvenient for JGY!

Also, LXC was distraught about his brother's forced marriage. And any situation that distresses JGY's husband must be Rectified At Once.

So with LWJ's help, JGY arranges for WRH and his sons to take a flight on the same plane.

Tragically (oh, it's all so very tragic!) the pilot makes a careless error which sends the plane into a fiery cataclysm. There are no survivors. 😔

Which, naturally, means that LWJ inherits all WRH's holdings. We can only hope this vast wealth will console him during his hideous bereavement.

(His late husband's vast wealth, and his brand-new chauffer with the million-dollar smile.)

(Perhaps that chauffer will console LWJ up against various pieces of furniture?

Well, we can only hope this lovely young widower will find SOME way to distract himself after his husband's funeral.)