The pandemic & perimenopause--the right & left speaker that give stereo to my life--have fucked up my sleep. Accustomed now to waking up every 2hrs, I have a comfort routine: rather than surrendering to double hell of insomnia & hot flashes, I soothe myself w/eyeliner📷 @rerutled
I surf websites of just about every cosmetics line known to humanity, and some which are not, that carries eyeliner in colours more than black and brown, and I lull myself with the blues, greens and purples feministgiant.com/p/deliberate-b…
And then when I give up trying to snatch any more 2hr pockets of sleep, I eat my breakfast, cleanse and moisturize and prepare for my favourite part of the day: holding a brush in one hand and a pot of eyeliner in the other as I apply the colour of the day around my eyes.
I admire the lines that I have learned to draw perfectly around my lids--often with a sweet little wing at the edges that is like a wink to myself--and I consider my handiwork both homage and healing. 📷 @rerutled
Homage because (of course) my people of Egypt - men and women of all social classes - were wearing eyeliner as early as 6000 BC. artsy.net/article/artsy-…
And being a writer, I am particularly delighted that the hieroglyphic term for makeup artist derives from the root “sesh,” which translates to write or engrave. As I hold that brush, I feel like a calligrapher, writing a letter of love to myself: “listen I love you joy is coming"
And healing: the ancient Egyptian word for “makeup palette” derives from the word meaning “to protect.” My ancestors believed Kohl eyeliner protected them against the harsh sunlight or the Evil Eye.
I believe the eyeliner I apply every day protects me against the harsh days of pandemic and perimenopause.
And I want to thank @rerutled who takes all these pictures, patiently adjusting angle and light to ensure my glasses and eyeliner work together! feministgiant.com/p/deliberate-b…
For those asking what I use (I am not endorsed or paid to say any of this!):
- Morphe (under $10)
- Colourpop (includes vegan, under $10)
- Inglot (mostly vegan, over $20 but x2 amount)
- Melt (vegan, under $20)
- KVD (vegan, $20)
In 2011 when my arms were both casts, unable to do simplest of things for myself & adrift in a bottomless pit of grief, I felt I'd been robbed of beauty. I could present my 2 broken arms & say “Here are my wounds” but what to point to in explaining what trauma had robbed from me.
Beauty, it had stolen beauty. And so bit by bit I rebuilt it.
After a visit to the orthopedic surgeon’s clinic, I would find a nearby nail salon and get my nails manicured and painted green and tweet the pictures - complete with a cast covering half of my hands.
Here I am, my green nails said. One step in front of another trying to walk forward to beauty: “listen I love you joy is coming.” (See Kim Addonizio poem in essay)
Glad to see more and outlets reporting on the role of white women in the January 6 insurrection. Here's my essay from January 10. It's the most viewed and shared of all my essays so far. Subscribe to FEMINIST GIANT feministgiant.com
My essay about white women who stormed the Capitol was part one of this series. Part two was about the white women who supported the insurrection from within the Capitol: Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert feministgiant.com/p/a-white-supr…
Watching the new season of a show that is now depicting the start of the pandemic. It's the first of my regular shows that I've seen that acknowledges the pandemic and watching the characters first learn about COVID was awful, so triggering. I wanted to cry. Run away and cry.
The pandemic has killed at least 2.5 million people around the world so far. And we have not reckoned with the magnitude of our pain and grief. We are not prepared for the bottom of the bottomless pit of grief, as I say here feministgiant.com/p/deliberate-b…
It's been a year already lockdown started for many people around the world. This coming month will be a year for me and those of us in North America.
I remember at the start we thought at the latest we'd be out and about again in June.
#Australia: remember when I asked “How long must we wait for men and boys to stop murdering us, to stop beating us and to stop raping us? How many rapists must we kill?"and this episode of Q&A was banned. My question remains: How many rapists must we kill?
And I did not then and I do not now mean state death penalties. The state already had a monopoly over violence. Fuck that.
I mean us. Those of us who are raped and assaulted and beaten. How many rapists must *we* kill until cis men stop raping us? feministgiant.com/p/i-beat-my-as…
The chapter in The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls where I ask those questions is the most controversial in my book, I know. Here's an excerpt feministgiant.com/p/how-many-rap…
I wasn’t paying attention at first to either my perimenopause or the pandemic. Once they both started, you’re in an in-between that can take years so you’d better learn to acclimate. Perimenopause? Pandemic? It’s like a fucking Jeopardy but for hormones. feministgiant.com/p/deliberate-b…
Since I started FEMINIST GIANT, all the words I don’t say face-to-face in public anymore, have gone into my writing. I’ve been writing more than I ever have - weekly, twice weekly. Where have all these words been?!