20 traits all great fathers share
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1. Love
As fathers our love is not attached to expectations. It is wholly separated from presumption and performance. We show this love by offering our protection and guidance unencumbered by conditions. Our objectives are health, safety, and prosperity alone.
As fathers our love is not attached to expectations. It is wholly separated from presumption and performance. We show this love by offering our protection and guidance unencumbered by conditions. Our objectives are health, safety, and prosperity alone.
2. Empathy
A great father can see the world through his family’s eyes. He remembers what it was like to be a child. He remembers the struggles, victories, and disappointments he faced. He remembers how they felt, and he remembers why they mattered.
A great father can see the world through his family’s eyes. He remembers what it was like to be a child. He remembers the struggles, victories, and disappointments he faced. He remembers how they felt, and he remembers why they mattered.
3. Presence
None of these traits matter if we're absent. How can we lead by example if the example is hidden? How can we love unconditionally if we create conditions around our availability? Our greatest gifts are our time and attention, and we must give of them freely.
None of these traits matter if we're absent. How can we lead by example if the example is hidden? How can we love unconditionally if we create conditions around our availability? Our greatest gifts are our time and attention, and we must give of them freely.
4. Self-discipline
We must master ourselves. Why? Because humans instinctively look for examples to follow. When your family looks at you let them see a master of his time, habits, and health. By your example let there be no doubt that a disciplined life is a prosperous life.
We must master ourselves. Why? Because humans instinctively look for examples to follow. When your family looks at you let them see a master of his time, habits, and health. By your example let there be no doubt that a disciplined life is a prosperous life.
5. Leadership
A father is a lighthouse. He shows the way through the dark. He stands unshaken and unmoving as the waves of life crash around him. Life is unpredictable, and the steady presence of a diligent father frees his family to safely navigate the unexpected.
A father is a lighthouse. He shows the way through the dark. He stands unshaken and unmoving as the waves of life crash around him. Life is unpredictable, and the steady presence of a diligent father frees his family to safely navigate the unexpected.
6. Self-respect
How we treat ourselves reflects our character. What we tolerate for ourselves shows what we tolerate from others. When in doubt about a course of action, simply ask: what would a self-respecting man do? If you’re honest in answering, the path will be clear.
How we treat ourselves reflects our character. What we tolerate for ourselves shows what we tolerate from others. When in doubt about a course of action, simply ask: what would a self-respecting man do? If you’re honest in answering, the path will be clear.
7. Communication
Words without actions ring hollow, but actions without words ring muted. Yes, we must lead by example. But without verbal reinforcement of our love, values, and guidance, we're leaving much to be interpreted. And interpretation begets misunderstanding.
Words without actions ring hollow, but actions without words ring muted. Yes, we must lead by example. But without verbal reinforcement of our love, values, and guidance, we're leaving much to be interpreted. And interpretation begets misunderstanding.
8. Physical strength
We simply must be strong. Neglecting this duty is too risky to tolerate. Your strength is your family’s peace of mind. A father must be formidable enough to deter threats to his family’s safety. And he must be capable when deterrence is no longer an option.
We simply must be strong. Neglecting this duty is too risky to tolerate. Your strength is your family’s peace of mind. A father must be formidable enough to deter threats to his family’s safety. And he must be capable when deterrence is no longer an option.
9. Emotional strength
Show me a man who can’t control his emotions and I’ll show you a man not ready for leadership. This does not mean we repress our emotions. It simply means we understand them. And it means we control the time, place, and manner of their expression.
Show me a man who can’t control his emotions and I’ll show you a man not ready for leadership. This does not mean we repress our emotions. It simply means we understand them. And it means we control the time, place, and manner of their expression.
10. Tolerance
Your kids will make mistakes. They will surprise you and they will disappoint you. Our job is to ensure our families' safety, health, and prosperity. So long as those conditions are met, our expectations are irrelevant. We are wise to guide but foolish to force.
Your kids will make mistakes. They will surprise you and they will disappoint you. Our job is to ensure our families' safety, health, and prosperity. So long as those conditions are met, our expectations are irrelevant. We are wise to guide but foolish to force.
11. Sacrifice
As a father, life is no longer about you. You are the last line of defense between your family and the broader world. You’ll do what you must to ensure your family’s wellbeing. You are the ultimate protector, and protection requires sacrifice.
As a father, life is no longer about you. You are the last line of defense between your family and the broader world. You’ll do what you must to ensure your family’s wellbeing. You are the ultimate protector, and protection requires sacrifice.
12. Teacher
Average fathers tell. Good fathers show. Great fathers do both because great fathers teach. Every setback holds a lesson. Every victory does too. Even the most mundane of daily activities are ripe with teachable moments. We must not sacrifice them to silence.
Average fathers tell. Good fathers show. Great fathers do both because great fathers teach. Every setback holds a lesson. Every victory does too. Even the most mundane of daily activities are ripe with teachable moments. We must not sacrifice them to silence.
13. Boundaries
A father sets boundaries for behavioral expectations. But he also creates boundaries for exploration. We must allow our children to fail. We must determine when to stand closer and when to step back. We create the perimeter of safety and we let our children learn.
A father sets boundaries for behavioral expectations. But he also creates boundaries for exploration. We must allow our children to fail. We must determine when to stand closer and when to step back. We create the perimeter of safety and we let our children learn.
14. Patience
As fathers, there is much we can’t control. To expect everything to always happen the way we want is to invite constant frustration. We set expectations. We model strong behavior. We improve ourselves. But we also understand that life has a tempo of its own making.
As fathers, there is much we can’t control. To expect everything to always happen the way we want is to invite constant frustration. We set expectations. We model strong behavior. We improve ourselves. But we also understand that life has a tempo of its own making.
15. Financial discipline
You don’t have to be incredibly wealthy. You don’t have to be rich. But you do have to model financial discipline for your family. Responsible fathers spend less than they earn, they invest the difference, and they make sure their kids understand why.
You don’t have to be incredibly wealthy. You don’t have to be rich. But you do have to model financial discipline for your family. Responsible fathers spend less than they earn, they invest the difference, and they make sure their kids understand why.
16. Love your spouse
"One of the greatest things a father can do for his children is to love their mother" - Howard Hunter. This is your chance to model a healthy relationship. To show the type of love that binds families together toward generational prosperity. Don't waste it.
"One of the greatest things a father can do for his children is to love their mother" - Howard Hunter. This is your chance to model a healthy relationship. To show the type of love that binds families together toward generational prosperity. Don't waste it.
17. Sobriety
A father must be in control of his faculties. Every moment he spends inebriated is a moment he puts his family at risk. His wits are too important to casually fling aside. As fathers, we can moderate diligently or we can abstain. There is no third option.
A father must be in control of his faculties. Every moment he spends inebriated is a moment he puts his family at risk. His wits are too important to casually fling aside. As fathers, we can moderate diligently or we can abstain. There is no third option.
18. Self-improvement
The traits mentioned here can only be maximized if you concurrently work on yourself. Neglect yourself physically, financially, mentally, or socially, and you’re missing out on the greatest gift you can give your family: the best version of you.
The traits mentioned here can only be maximized if you concurrently work on yourself. Neglect yourself physically, financially, mentally, or socially, and you’re missing out on the greatest gift you can give your family: the best version of you.
19. Integrity
Integrity is doing the right thing even when nobody's watching. It’s aligning your actions and values even (and especially) when it's inconvenient to do so. You'll set hundreds of examples for your children. And your integrity will color them all.
Integrity is doing the right thing even when nobody's watching. It’s aligning your actions and values even (and especially) when it's inconvenient to do so. You'll set hundreds of examples for your children. And your integrity will color them all.
20. A code of values
Your values are your rules. They are the lens through which you make decisions. They are the standard to which you hold yourself. A man without a code will quickly give way to expediency. A man without a map will find himself lost.
Your values are your rules. They are the lens through which you make decisions. They are the standard to which you hold yourself. A man without a code will quickly give way to expediency. A man without a map will find himself lost.
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Save Your Sons is fighting fatherlessness by giving young men the tools they need to embrace fatherhood. Join us by adding your email at saveyoursons.com
Save Your Sons is fighting fatherlessness by giving young men the tools they need to embrace fatherhood. Join us by adding your email at saveyoursons.com
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