Thread by @AndyKimNJ

My dear friend Anna Ruch stepped out the other day to share with us a story that is difficult to tell, especially when the whole country is watching. I called her last night. Not knowing exactly how she might be feeling, I asked How are you doing? (THREAD) google.com/amp/s/www.nyti…

Anna sounded strong. She always has been for the years I’ve known her and her voice was confident. We talked about why she decided to share her story. She was honest about how she struggled with the decision. Ultimately, she felt compelled to say something. 2/14

It was hearing from other women of their experiences of sexual harassment, assault, and abuse that got her to stand up and speak out. Anna did not compare her experience to those of others, but instead said she wanted to let others know that she is with them in solidarity. 3/14

Something she said to me stood out. She remarked how the encounter with Governor Cuomo was brief but was seared into her memory with a deep vividness. I could tell it still made her uncomfortable to think about it as that strong, confident tone began to soften. 4/14

She paused in her description and asked if that is how he wanted to spend the 30 seconds with her, a complete stranger, what does that say about him? She paused again and reframed the sentence, “that is how he chose to spend the 30 seconds meeting me.” 5/14

I thought all night about that line she said. When we meet people, especially strangers, how do we want to spend that time together? But it also fundamentally gets at the question of respect. Do we respect the people we meet? Do our actions reflect respect? 6/14

Anna and I worked at White House several years ago. Young staffers surrounded by powerful people. It was intimidating. I don’t know Anna’s experience, but in my career, I saw a huge range of how people respected and disrespected others, especially women and people of color. 7/14

Years later now as a public official myself, I carry so many of those 30 second moments with me when I meet people. I ask myself: am I giving this person my respect? Am I treating this person as I’d want to be treated? 8/14

I can never fully understand what Anna and others experienced, but from their truth I hope it forces people in power - and everyone else - to ask these difficult questions and look at their own actions with increased scrutiny. 9/14

I heard in my friend’s voice what happens when we encounter people who disrespect us, sometimes crossing lines without knowing or caring. As elected officials, we hold positions of perceived power and have solemn responsibility to examine our actions through that structure. 10/14

How do we serve people if we don’t treat them with dignity and respect? This goes beyond just public officials too. Our concern is not just about how people treat strangers. Must also be about our colleagues/staff, our family/friends, our competitors, our acquaintances. 11/14

Respect should be the starting point, not the finish line, and harm should never be done. 12/14

Public service demands the best of us. We should be held to high standards. We should have the capacity for respect for each and every person we meet, no matter how brief. Our job is to literally serve the people. 13/14

We cannot serve the people properly if we do not treat them with respect. Or to say it another way, no one should be disrespected. Not Anna, not anyone. 14/14