Thread by @kelly_j_baker

One day I'll write about alcohol in the academy, the expectations that academics drink, and the professor who once told me that academics drink because "they know too much."

I didn't drink much before grad school, but I learned to drink there.

I have stopped drinking a few times since graduate school, and at the end of this month, I won't have had a drink for a year.

But I have been pressured by academics to just have one glass of wine or one beer even after I explain that I don't want one or don't drink.

And the academics who pressured me to drink are the same ones that expect to explain why I am not drinking like I have to have a very good reason not to, even though my choices are none of their business.

Going to get a drink is so much a part of the culture of the academy. And I did participate in it for awhile.

But when I stopped a few times before, some folks acted like they didn't know what to do with a non-drinker.

So, I've been asked again and again if I want a drink and politely declined, but some folks won't let it go.

Which is so weird.

Even now, I still get an occasional question about why I'm choosing not to drink, which is pretty invasive.

And I tend to respond "because I'm not."

Because choosing not to drink is not a decision I have to justify, even as people still seem to think I do.

Anyway, I haven't gone out of my way to tell people I don't drink. I just don't.

So I kind of wish that folks would just accept that I don't drink anymore and move the eff along without questions or peer pressure.

During the pandemic, I've had well-meaning folks suggest that I have a drink to take the edge off (not knowing I don't drink) or drink after a hard day.

I get that the pandemic is hard, but drinking is not an option for some of us for lots of reasons.

I stopped drinking a couple of weeks into the pandemic last year because I realized that one drink was becoming two or three or sometimes four, and I eventually realized how badly that would turn out for me and my family.

So, I would urge folks to just pause for a second or maybe a minute before recommending a drink to someone.

And please never, ever try to pressure someone into having one drink. It's their choice not to drink, so don't push boundaries.

Well, this thread hit resonated more than I thought it would.

I'm thinking even more about writing that essay now.