Indu stared at the empty-ish platform, panting. In the distance, the train picked up speed. The soles of her feet felt hot and dirty, the wet patch on her blouse clung to her back.
it was too late.
Who would bring Rishi from school today? What about Babuji's lunch?
THREAD.
it was too late.
Who would bring Rishi from school today? What about Babuji's lunch?
THREAD.
On call, Mahesh listened to her predicament in silence
Then, in the way common to every man, he issued directions for the next time this happened. "Always go 10minutes early to the station. Don't attend the last darshan if it's close to the train timing. Go with a friend..."
2.
Then, in the way common to every man, he issued directions for the next time this happened. "Always go 10minutes early to the station. Don't attend the last darshan if it's close to the train timing. Go with a friend..."
2.
Nervously, Indu fidgeted as she listened to her husband trail on. There would be no next time! She would make sure.
But what about now!?
"How do I come back?" she gushed, interrupting Mahesh.
"Well. The next train is at 7. Take that, I'll pick you up from the station."
3.
But what about now!?
"How do I come back?" she gushed, interrupting Mahesh.
"Well. The next train is at 7. Take that, I'll pick you up from the station."
3.
"That's ten hours away, Mahesh!"
"Is there any other option?"
Indu felt the guilt well up in her eyes. It was her carelessness that had caused her to miss the train. Now everyone at home would be inconvenienced.
After discussing arrangements for the day, Indu hung up.
4.
"Is there any other option?"
Indu felt the guilt well up in her eyes. It was her carelessness that had caused her to miss the train. Now everyone at home would be inconvenienced.
After discussing arrangements for the day, Indu hung up.
4.
Then, deciding to try her luck one last time, she went to the bus service counter.
"Aaj strike hai, Madam," a sleepy conductor told her. "No bus."
And so, sitting tearfully on the platform bench, Indu grudgingly accepted that she had nine hours to waste.
5.
"Aaj strike hai, Madam," a sleepy conductor told her. "No bus."
And so, sitting tearfully on the platform bench, Indu grudgingly accepted that she had nine hours to waste.
5.
Nine hours that she would have normally spent making breakfast, getting Rishi ready for school, helping babuji bathe, cleaning the house, buying groceries with Ashi aunty from the 5th floor, preparing lunch, getting Rishi from school, serving lunch, giving babuji his meds...
6.
6.
...checking Rishi's homework, putting him to sleep, watering the plants, doing the clothes and dishes, getting Rishi ready and taking him to tuition, coming back and making chai & snacks, preparing for dinner, bringing Rishi back from tuition, changing his clothes...
7.
7.
The list went on, as did her every day. 8am to 7pm was the busiest time of her day, with few seconds to sit.
But not today.
Today, she felt like she had failed.
But self-pity would take her nowhere.
Holding her handbag in her hand, Indu wondered what next?
8.
But not today.
Today, she felt like she had failed.
But self-pity would take her nowhere.
Holding her handbag in her hand, Indu wondered what next?
8.
What to do in this district 60km from home?
What to do?
What to do?
Ah, Chai-samosa.
A maker of excellent samosas herself, Indu had forgotten what freshly fried 'kisi aur ke haath ke' samosas tasted like.
The chai, masaledar with adrak, was also excellent!
9.
What to do?
What to do?
Ah, Chai-samosa.
A maker of excellent samosas herself, Indu had forgotten what freshly fried 'kisi aur ke haath ke' samosas tasted like.
The chai, masaledar with adrak, was also excellent!
9.
Indu finished it while sitting in an empty bus stop. The cars whizzed by, ruffling her hair. She smiled.
Chai done, Indu decided to visit a mall nearby. She wandered at leisure through the long alleys of shops, no child or husband pulling her off.
10.
Chai done, Indu decided to visit a mall nearby. She wandered at leisure through the long alleys of shops, no child or husband pulling her off.
10.
She passed a toy-shop without a second glance.
In an ice-cream parlour, she got herself three scoops in a cone. She couldn't remember the last time she'd bought herself ice-cream just like that, that too in the middle of the day!
11.
In an ice-cream parlour, she got herself three scoops in a cone. She couldn't remember the last time she'd bought herself ice-cream just like that, that too in the middle of the day!
11.
Ice-cream for a while now, had been a family affair.
Scooped by her from packs, wiped off Rishi's chin before it dribbled onto his shirt, served in pretty glass bowls to their family friends.
But this, this act of sitting by herself in the mall just eating ice-cream?
12.
Scooped by her from packs, wiped off Rishi's chin before it dribbled onto his shirt, served in pretty glass bowls to their family friends.
But this, this act of sitting by herself in the mall just eating ice-cream?
12.
It felt bad, bold, freeing.
Next, in the time she would have ordinarily waited for Rishi outside his school, she went in for a Marathi movie matinee.
She bought the same popcorn she forbade Rishi from having.
And French fries.
And coke.
13.
Next, in the time she would have ordinarily waited for Rishi outside his school, she went in for a Marathi movie matinee.
She bought the same popcorn she forbade Rishi from having.
And French fries.
And coke.
13.
In the empty theatre (with some four people apart from her) she slurped, sat cross-legged, laughed too loudly.
At 3pm, after checking in with Rishi, she had a late lunch in an Italian restaurant like a 'fancy lady'.
At 4pm, instead of making chai, she got a foot massage.
14.
At 3pm, after checking in with Rishi, she had a late lunch in an Italian restaurant like a 'fancy lady'.
At 4pm, instead of making chai, she got a foot massage.
14.
At 5pm, instead of cooking, she went to try on outlandish makeup she'd seen people use only in movies when she heard her name.
"Indu?"
*
Seated in a café Indu peered at Shahid through her eyelashes. He still had the thick hair all of them would swoon over in college.
15.
"Indu?"
*
Seated in a café Indu peered at Shahid through her eyelashes. He still had the thick hair all of them would swoon over in college.
15.
The same disarming smile, set amid a few more lines perhaps, but still the same. An expensive suit instead of the shirts they used to wear to class. A little grey in his hair.
35 looked good on Shahid.
In her cotton sari, faded brown chappals, messy hair, Indu felt dirty.
16.
35 looked good on Shahid.
In her cotton sari, faded brown chappals, messy hair, Indu felt dirty.
16.
"Well, Miss Gold Medalist?" Shahid said, their orders placed. "HOW has life been?"
Over the next half hour Indu and Shahid caught up on each others' life. Indu showed Shahid a photo from Rishi's 6th birthday. Shahid showed her a photo of his girlfriend.
17.
Over the next half hour Indu and Shahid caught up on each others' life. Indu showed Shahid a photo from Rishi's 6th birthday. Shahid showed her a photo of his girlfriend.
17.
"So, what are you doing here, Indu? Don't you & Mahesh live in Borivali?"
"Yes, I come here to the Shiva temple every Tuesday for their 7am darshan. Today things got late. I missed my train."
"Oh!"
"Thanks to the megablock the next train is at 7pm & buses are on strike."
18.
"Yes, I come here to the Shiva temple every Tuesday for their 7am darshan. Today things got late. I missed my train."
"Oh!"
"Thanks to the megablock the next train is at 7pm & buses are on strike."
18.
"And so," said Shahid, "you've had a day at the mall."
"Yes!" Indu replied.
"Aw, how boring" laughed Shahid.
Yes, Indu thought. 'Boring'.
*
On her way back in the train Indu thought about what made something boring. Maybe the ability to do it again and again?
19.
"Yes!" Indu replied.
"Aw, how boring" laughed Shahid.
Yes, Indu thought. 'Boring'.
*
On her way back in the train Indu thought about what made something boring. Maybe the ability to do it again and again?
19.
What made her life so different from Shahid's that for him a day at the mall was boring but for her a reminder of who she was when she wasn't mother, daughter, wife, woman.
Age? No, they were the same age.
Status? No, this was about time, not money.
Just.. gender?
20.
Age? No, they were the same age.
Status? No, this was about time, not money.
Just.. gender?
20.
Indu thought of her BSc Gold medal. How her father had proudly shown it to her in-laws before marriage.
She thought of weekends, holidays, time off from being a mother to be a wife; from being a wife to being a daughter. On repeat every day.
21.
She thought of weekends, holidays, time off from being a mother to be a wife; from being a wife to being a daughter. On repeat every day.
21.
She thought of those movies and days that celebrated being 'a woman'.
On this train, she could not pull the chain.
*
When she reached home, Rishi was in tears. "Where were you Mumma?"
"Nowhere, beta. Mumma's back now."
Indu left behind, on the way.
FIN.
On this train, she could not pull the chain.
*
When she reached home, Rishi was in tears. "Where were you Mumma?"
"Nowhere, beta. Mumma's back now."
Indu left behind, on the way.
FIN.
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