Thread by @vyrthandi

I didn’t expect to cry so much. I’d gone 23 days without my son. No visitors allowed, due to the pandemic. It was by far the longest we’d ever been apart. When I saw him and my ex wife, I couldn’t maintain my composure.

There’s nothing more important in my life than him.

I called myself a mother long before I realized I was a closeted trans woman.

I know that many in my community wanted children, but didn’t have the opportunity. I know others who have children, but have been separated from them by miles & the indignant anger of a former partner.

I know I’m fortunate that my ex is loving and supportive, and my heart goes out to those who wish they had children, or could see their children.

I don’t talk about my son often on Twitter. But I want to tell you of this 10-year-old, and how proud I am of him.

When I came out in January 2019, my ex wife, Natalie, felt that she should talk to him about it. He was 8, and at times, he’s more receptive to her. I was the stay-at-home mom, and she got that special status kids often grant to the parent who isn’t there 24/7.

(And that’s not intended as a dig. She was the sole breadwinner for three years of his life, as we’d planned.)

I don’t know how she explained it to him, but after the first week, he’s not misgendered me even once.

(I’m tearing up right now at that simple fact. 😢)

A month after I’d came out, I remember sitting down at a booth with him and my mother at our favorite breakfast joint in town.

He corrected her. “No grandma, it’s mommy.” “It’s not him, it’s her.”

My mom was predisposed to be an ally, but he cemented it for her.

He’s my hero.

His name is Baldur. It means brave, bold. I named him for the Norse god, that son of Odin, but also after my favorite character in American Gods.

I named him this because if anything were to happen to him, my world would end.

He was just as emotional when I arrived, when I hugged and held him and Natalie.

He’s been so good for her during my surgeries and recovery.

Natalie told me that lately he’s been holding back her bangs, and telling her that she reminds him of how pretty I am to him. 🤍

I wouldn’t be the person I am without him.

He has special needs, but he’s taught me patience and a deeper kind of love than I knew before. Simply by being, he’s motivated me to go to school, and taught me how to be an advocate for both him and myself, to overcome gatekeeping.

#TransMothersAreMothers, and it can’t be said often enough.

Thank you for letting me share. I hope this didn’t cause too much distress.

If you have children kept away from you simply because you are trans, you are a real mother, and your pain is valid.

If you were unable to have children so far, and it pains you, you are not alone.