Thread by @drlouisehansen

Psychosis:

“A mantra is a beautiful thing, there is no question about it, but nothing is bigger than silence.” - Sadhguru

“What if psychosis is not losing touch with reality? What if it is us touching reality?” - Dr Louise Hansen 1/29

The portal for genius is also the same portal for insanity. Like the matrix. There is no key. There is no door. There are no walls. The highest realisation: freedom. So how does one break the boundaries of their physical body and psychological structure? Clarity. 2/29

A large scale vision,
Borderless and boundless,
The highest realisation,
I am that which is not. 3/29

My brother always said that I should write a book. I never saw the point when there are a million books that use the same old words simply to transcend them. 4/29

It would mean nothing to a child joyfully whole in their ordinariness and make no sense to an adult practiced in judgment and criticism. How did they get like that? Narrow. Rigid. Inflexible. Divided. 5/29

A scientist knows a frog with his intellect, through means of dissection. He pulls it apart, knows all its pieces, and then it is dead. However to experience the same frog, or love, requires a different intelligence: awareness. To simply embrace it as it is. 6/29

I had my first experience of this during my PhD on the neuroscience of emotion. I asked the question where is emotion in the brain? Well it was not just in the brain. Turns out this is a living cosmos! 7/29

As I experienced myself as a piece of the entire universe, I made the mistake of assuming others would understand. They did not. A PhD is meant to be an original contribution to knowledge. 8/29

How does one explain to their supervisors, family and friends, that the entire cosmos dwells within each and every one of us? They thought I was mad. I ended up in a psychiatric hospital for six months with psychosis. 9/29

I went from teaching psychology at the University to a disability pension, put on every medication and had twelve sessions of electroconvulsive therapy. It took approximately three years for my brain to recover. 10/29

My treasured insights I had forgotten and were buried deep in my subconscious. Remarkably, seven years later as a Provisional Psychologist I had exactly the same experience. This time completely grounded. 11/29

The only way I can explain it is that my psychosis was not losing touch with reality; it was touching reality. Reality simply is; neither this nor that. It is what it is. There is only life; the rest is imagination. 12/29

The difference between a mad man and a Guru is that the madman experiences this unwillingly and the Guru experiences it willingly: freedom. This time I knew I had not discovered anything new. Wisdom traditions and mystics have always known this. 13/29

You cannot squeeze the universe, nor a precious life, into any box, including science. Life is a far larger phenomenon than any thought or instrument or label. Hence the pointlessness of this book. 14/29

My brother was right though. I was in a unique situation because I had an opportunity to share the experience from the inside out. I am a licensed Psychologist and a Doctor of Philosophy in Psychology, with 20 years experience. 15/29

I’ve had psychosis, completely destroyed myself, recreated myself, and overcame a second episode knowing fully what was happening. Apart from feeling unable to share this with my family or colleagues, in fear of being re-hospitalised, or reported to the psychology board, 16/29

what was most terrifying is that this second episode would be classified as “Schizophrenia” in the West, and yet similar experiences are embraced as “Enlightenment” in the east. 17/29

What was one to do?

“A mantra is a beautiful thing, there is no question about it, but nothing is bigger than silence.” 18/29

Today the top neuroscientists agree that our reality is an illusion and that we are all hallucinating. When we agree on a shared hallucination we call this normality. When we disagree we call this insanity; or genius. 19/29

While Western psychology labels and pathologises anything abnormal and rejects anything it cannot measure, Wisdom traditions knowingly encourage and prepare you for this. 20/29

For Wisdom traditions, the intellect is limited for it is a cutting instrument and narrowly focused in its scope: that is why in the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities; in the expert’s mind there are few. 21/29

For Wisdom traditions, the mind is insanity; the only sanity is reality. So unlike the West, they embrace and prepare you for this. For it is not a case of if, but when, this happens to you. Beautiful and plentiful tools are provided of what to do: Wisdom. 22/29

So what is a genius in a world of illusion? My hope is this story will shed some light. They say a fool does what he does not like. An intelligent man does what he likes. And a genius does what needs to be done. 23/29

He not only masters his threat system, for survival, he also develops his self soothing system, for peace, joy, love, compassion, blissfulness and ecstasy. For if one is unable to drop their fight mode, they will unknowingly conquer and divide in many disguises. 24/29

And when the entire universe resides within you, what is there to unnecessarily gain or lose? This story is dedicated to every human being who has been hospitalised or incarcerated, 25/29

for having the highest realisation and a large scale vision; that what lies within each and everyone of us, is neither this nor that: for it can never be named, to remain borderless and boundless. 26/29

Written by Dr Louise Hansen
Psychologist and PhD in Psychology

*This piece is in no way intended to minimise psychosis or mental illness. It is a simple interpretation of my lived experience of psychosis. 27/29

There is no question both episodes I was unable to function or care for myself. Both required hospitalisation. Both took months, the first took years, to recover from. Thank you to my family, friends and medical team who kept me safe and supported my recovery. 28/29

This piece is also not intended to criticise Psychology or Western science. It is simply pointing out the limitation of using intellect alone with phenomena like the mind and existence. Self-compassion (kindness, common humanity and mindfulness) also exist. 29/29