I watched my Year 1 classes school talent show;
Here is my analysis
A THREAD
Here is my analysis
A THREAD
GOLDEN RULES
1) I shall be discussing as many of the children from the last thread as I can.
2) Each child decided their own talent
3) No fighting
Okay...Curtains up
1) I shall be discussing as many of the children from the last thread as I can.
2) Each child decided their own talent
3) No fighting
Okay...Curtains up
Wendy - Singing - 'Let It Go'
Robbie left Take That for his star to really shine. Wendy unfortunately had to leave her group. A double act became a solo artist. A star is truly born. Charisma. Style. She wore a top that said "Cool Girl" and I cant disagree. Adele look out. 8/10
Robbie left Take That for his star to really shine. Wendy unfortunately had to leave her group. A double act became a solo artist. A star is truly born. Charisma. Style. She wore a top that said "Cool Girl" and I cant disagree. Adele look out. 8/10
Sammy - Magician
I never believed in magic...and I still don't. Gave everything away. Suppose it didn't help that his "mate" kept calling out each tricks secret. He tried his bloody best to get the crowd on his side, but overall the idea was better than the execution. 3/10
I never believed in magic...and I still don't. Gave everything away. Suppose it didn't help that his "mate" kept calling out each tricks secret. He tried his bloody best to get the crowd on his side, but overall the idea was better than the execution. 3/10
Alice - Singing - 'Shotgun'
Remember Wagner from Xfactor? Yeah, that's Alice. Couldn't hit a note to save her soul, but the energy! My god. She jumped, she jiggled and I swear I witnessed a flip at one point. She's certainly an entertaining act but a singer, she is not. 6/10
Remember Wagner from Xfactor? Yeah, that's Alice. Couldn't hit a note to save her soul, but the energy! My god. She jumped, she jiggled and I swear I witnessed a flip at one point. She's certainly an entertaining act but a singer, she is not. 6/10
Ben - Orignal Poetry - 'My friends'
Of course Ben did a poem. It rhymed. It's flowed. It bored some. These days people are too invested in appearance and style. Ben is substance and intelligence. Expect Ben to either live in an old van and not shower or become a labour MP. 5/10
Of course Ben did a poem. It rhymed. It's flowed. It bored some. These days people are too invested in appearance and style. Ben is substance and intelligence. Expect Ben to either live in an old van and not shower or become a labour MP. 5/10
Mikey - Dance
This is his chance. Prove the doubters wrong. Rise from the ashes like a phoenix....and he fucked it. Didn't learn a thing. He had no backing track, which I found an odd choice. He just moved from side to side for two minutes. Another absolute stinker. 1/10.
This is his chance. Prove the doubters wrong. Rise from the ashes like a phoenix....and he fucked it. Didn't learn a thing. He had no backing track, which I found an odd choice. He just moved from side to side for two minutes. Another absolute stinker. 1/10.
Jack - Football Skill
Nope, that's not a typo. I've written 'skill' because he only did step-overs. It lasted two minutes and was done with Brazilian samba style music in the background. Spiky hair, Man United shirt on and a bucket load of Razzmatazz. I dug it. 7.5/10
Nope, that's not a typo. I've written 'skill' because he only did step-overs. It lasted two minutes and was done with Brazilian samba style music in the background. Spiky hair, Man United shirt on and a bucket load of Razzmatazz. I dug it. 7.5/10
Ravi - Stand up comedy
If the joke we heard the other day was his warm up tour then this, was Ravi's Netflix special. A personal favourite was "Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? - Because it was stuck in a crack". He's a world talent. Watch this space. 9/10.
If the joke we heard the other day was his warm up tour then this, was Ravi's Netflix special. A personal favourite was "Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? - Because it was stuck in a crack". He's a world talent. Watch this space. 9/10.
Vera - Gymnastics
Sweet. Kind to other children. However, Vera is WAY out of her depth here. Under qualified as a gymnast and it showed. The class went mental for it but I think Vera's popularity outweighed the performance. Went on too long as well. Absolute snooze fest. 2/10.
Sweet. Kind to other children. However, Vera is WAY out of her depth here. Under qualified as a gymnast and it showed. The class went mental for it but I think Vera's popularity outweighed the performance. Went on too long as well. Absolute snooze fest. 2/10.
Toby and Emma - singing - 'Dance Monkey'
That's right! Toby and Emma! Toby did all the work. Singing with heart and soul. He is a superstar. They held hands the whole way through and I nearly cried. Emma moved her mouth and gave her all. Who gives a shit though! 10/10.
That's right! Toby and Emma! Toby did all the work. Singing with heart and soul. He is a superstar. They held hands the whole way through and I nearly cried. Emma moved her mouth and gave her all. Who gives a shit though! 10/10.
Mr Pointon - Stand Up comedy.
My tight, polished set went straight over their heads. Didn't understand my satirical stuff about Palestine and the Gera Thunberg impression fell like a shit from council estate. I ended on a poo joke because we're all just big kids really. 0/10.
My tight, polished set went straight over their heads. Didn't understand my satirical stuff about Palestine and the Gera Thunberg impression fell like a shit from council estate. I ended on a poo joke because we're all just big kids really. 0/10.
END OF THREAD.
I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has read and enjoyed my couple of threads. You've given me a week I will never forget. Cheers.
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