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The Autisticats

19 Mar, 10 tweets, 2 min read

Parents of autistic kids: here are some tips on how to better interact with the autistic community.

These are based on observations I’ve made over the past four years doing advocacy work.

If you’ve read my thread from the other day, make sure you read this one too.

1. Remember that the people you’re talking to are autistic, and might have a hard time modulating their “tone.”

If the person talking to you seems blunt, it usually doesn’t mean they’re trying to be rude.

Try to focus on the substance and direct meaning of their words.

2. A lot of the beliefs you have about autism, especially if you’re new to the community, are probably wrong.

That’s not a moral judgment. It’s okay to not know things. You just also have to be willing to learn.

And learning will probably make you uncomfortable sometimes.

3. Most autistic people are traumatized. One common source of trauma is our parents/guardians, and teachers/therapists.

The way we interact with you when talking about parenting styles, or ABA, is going to be affected by traumatic experiences we’ve had.

That’s okay. Listen.

4. Autistic people are often highly sensitive, and direct with our communication.

If you perceive us as “reacting to something that isn’t a big deal,” please recognize that because of the way we’re processing the situation, it *is* a big deal to us.

Again, just listen.

5. The vast majority of autistic people just want to help your kids live their best lives.

We don’t have ulterior motives, we’re not trying to be mean to you, etc.

We’re just trying to help you and your child. That’s our goal.

6. If you’ve been immersed in the “treatment” culture of autism before encountering us, a lot of the things we say are going to make you react defensively.

Recognize when you’re getting defensive, and ask yourself why.

Instead of reacting, ask questions when you’re confused.

7. If the vast majority of autistic people agree on a certain topic, listen and do some research to find out why.

Don’t play devil’s advocate on the issue of person-first language, etc.

And don’t speak over us when we articulate what we want for the community.

8. Don’t assume things about our childhood or our support needs based on the way we present ourselves online.

Recognize that many of us were once (or still are) just like your child.

When we tell you how our autism manifests (now or in the past), believe us.

9. Perhaps most importantly, do your own research and seek out resources that are recommended by the community.

You can start with the Thinking Person’s Guide To Autism, autismacceptance.com, and the general ASAN website.

Thanks for listening! :)

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More from @autisticats

The Autisticats

@autisticats

19 Mar

Hi everyone, I’ve received a lot of feedback on the thread I made the other day with the story about Liza.

I want to apologize to anyone who was upset by it.

A lot of people have been asking for clarification on what I meant, so that’s what I’m going to do here.

I actually agree with all of the critique that the thread received.

There was nothing I read from an autistic respondent to the thread that I thought was untrue.

A lot of people were just responding to things that I wasn’t trying to say. (Hence why I agree with them)

The main issues arose from the fact that Twitter has a strict character limit, and the fact that I hadn’t fully considered how everything I said might be perceived.

I didn’t know what to clarify until people asked, basically.

So that’s what I’m doing now 😅

Read 13 tweets

The Autisticats

@autisticats

17 Mar

Autistic community: we need to talk about the ways we approach parents of autistic kids.

This is a touchy subject for basically everyone, so I’m going to try my best to articulate myself.

Know that I’m speaking as an autistic person whose parents were not always accepting.

To do this, I’ll describe a common scenario. We have two fictional main characters:

-Jane (a newly diagnosed autistic girl)
-Liza (Jane’s mom)

When Jane was diagnosed last year, the doctors made it sound scary. They said she needed intensive treatment and intervention.

Liza didn’t know anything about autism before Jane was diagnosed.

All she had heard about autism were sad things that came from an organization called Autism Speaks.

She thought they must be a good organization, if they have so much funding and support among other parents.

Read 10 tweets

The Autisticats

@autisticats

15 Mar

When autistic people say we were bullied for being autistic, we usually don’t mean that people heard about our diagnosis and started using it against us.

That does happen, but more often than not, people bully us for our autistic traits.

Because we’re “different.”

The first time I was bullied, I was a 4 year old in preschool. I wasn’t even diagnosed yet.

But my bullies recognized my autistic traits, and then consistently mocked me for being, in their words, “weird.”

If I tried sitting at their table during lunch, they’d yell at me.

I’ve heard from dozens of autistic people who have been physically assaulted by classmates for displaying autistic traits.

People have been punched in the face for flapping their hands on the playground.

People’s gym clothes have been shoved down the toilet.

Read 9 tweets

The Autisticats

@autisticats

13 Feb

Yesterday I made a thread about how the caricature of autistic body language in Sia’s movie is harmful.

Some autistic people said the scenes made them feel ashamed of their own body language.

So I want you to see a few photos of me, and know that I’m not ashamed.

Here’s a photo of me when I was 8 years old. I had an overbite and I would often put my front teeth over my bottom lip as a stim. This is a characteristic that was mimicked in Sia’s movie.

I still put my teeth over my lip.

Here’s another photo of me around the same time period. On a hike with my family, I started flapping my hands while we sat down for a water break.

I still flap my hands.

Read 10 tweets

The Autisticats

@autisticats

12 Feb

I’m watching Sia’s movie, in order to write a detailed & chronological review (so that nobody else watches it out of curiosity).

But for now, I just want the public to see a few things that speak for themselves, starting with this image:

The next thing I want the general public to see is this clip from the opening scene.

CW: strobing lights, overwhelming visuals, caricature of autistic mannerisms

Here’s a still shot of Maddie Ziegler’s face at the beginning of that opening scene.

I don’t think I need to explain what’s wrong here, but I’m going to anyway.

Read 10 tweets

The Autisticats

@autisticats

10 Feb

“Autistic” is not a bad word.

It’s a neutral, descriptive term that is very much preferred by autistic people ourselves.

Much like Deaf people and Blind people, the majority of Autistic people want to be called “autistic person,” not “person with autism.”

So it was endlessly frustrating to me when, in my reading assignment for my “Issues Affecting Persons with Disabilities” class, the word “autistic” got put in the same category as the r-word.

There were a lot of other really bizarre and questionable things in that reading, too.

For one thing, the list of “words not to say” included the phrase “differently abled.” But then directly after that chart, this header was used:

Read 9 tweets

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