Thread by @KR3Wmatic

Has suicide ever crossed your mind? Be honest.

Suicide survivors, what was your "last thought" as you were making your attempt? Were you scared at all?

Need Help? Contact a suicide hotline if you need someone to talk to. If you have a friend in need of help, please encourage that person to contact a suicide hotline as well.

Reach out to @MentallyAwareNG.
In an emergency, call 08111680686, 08091116264.

You can also reach out to this:
09060097915

If you need someone to talk to, please get help from a trained professional as quickly as possible.

Reach out to @dedoyinajayi & @larmmy.

Contact a suicide hotline if you need someone to talk to. Reach out to @MentallyAwareNG.

Their hotlines are always available.
Try any of these:

08091116264
09060097915

When someone you care about is depressed, offering advice or wisdom may be something you do with only good intentions in mind. However, the words you use may not convey the message you want to send—especially if you don't understand the nature of depression and mental illness.

It's important to remember that depression is a medical condition that requires treatment, be it with medication, therapy, or both. When you're talking to a loved one about their depression, repeating platitudes can make someone feel that you're minimizing their feelings.

When you're expressing your own feelings, the phrases you use may seem clear and to the point from your perspective, but the person with depression who is on the receiving end may feel attacked, misunderstood, or deeply hurt.

It's important to discuss mental health with people you care about, but if you don't use tact and compassion, your attempts to help may do more harm than good.

Don't minimize their feelings.

Don't dismiss their symptoms.

Don't deny their feelings.

Don't compare their feelings to others.

Don't express apathy.

DON'T CALL THEM SELFISH.

Do tell them you care.

Ask how you can help.

Take care of tasks like chores or errands.

Offer to help them find help.

Express empathy and understanding.

Be supportive.

Avoid making comments like:

"Snap out of it!"

"Just try harder!"

Having someone tell you to try harder when you are already giving it your best effort can be demoralizing and may make a person with depression feel their situation is hopeless.

There are many reasons depression develops and a person cannot necessarily control all of the risk factors involved. Once a person has become depressed, it's not a matter of just "talking themselves out of" a low mood.

Don't Express Disbelief.

People who need help often look like people who don't need help.

In other words, how a person appears on the outside does not necessarily reflect how they feel on the inside.

So avoid making statements like:

"But you don't look depressed!"

"You don't seem sad!"

It's not uncommon for people with depression and anxiety to try very hard to "put on a good face" and hide how they really feel from others.

These thoughts can become very intense and, in fact, are characteristic of depression itself—even though they don't reflect reality.

Some reasons people may try to hide what they are feeling:

They may be embarrassed, confused, guilty, ashamed, or afraid of what would happen if other people found out that they were depressed.

They may worry that they will be seen as incompetent at work or as a parent.

They may be worried that their spouse, family, and friends will stop loving them.

Just because someone who is depressed tries to cover it up, it doesn't mean they want to be dismissed when they do choose to open up about how they really feel.

It takes courage to speak openly about the pain they feel. If someone responds with doubt or disbelief, it may make them feel like talking about their depression is not safe.

Don't Dismiss Their Pain.

When you're talking to a friend who is depressed or going through a difficult time, resist the temptation to compare pain. Remember that pain (emotional and physical) is not only subjective but relative.

Avoid comments like:

"It can't be that bad."

"It could be worse."

"You think you have it bad…"

Don't Blame.

While a deficiency of mood-regulating substances is technically occurring in the mind, the phrase "all in your head" tends to be dismissive.

People who hear the phrase may also feel attacked, as though they are being accused of "making it up" or lying about how they feel.

So avoid saying things such as:

"It's all in your head."

"It's your fault."

"You're imagining things."

Depression is not a condition someone chooses to have, and while researchers don't understand all the potential causes, they know that there are many factors.

Don't Be Apathetic.

When someone is depressed, they may carry feelings of guilt and shame. They may feel that they are a burden to the people in their lives, and these feelings can make depression worse and may even lead to suicidal thoughts or self-harming behaviors.

Minimizing the pain of another person is not helpful. For people who are dealing with depression, it can be very hurtful and harmful.

When you're caring for (and about) someone who is depressed, you may say hurtful things when you are feeling frustrated or worried.

If you find yourself thinking "who cares?" when you're listening to a loved one, recognize that it might be a sign you are burnt out.

You need to take care of your own emotional and mental health before you can help someone else with theirs. If you are feeling frustrated, irritated, or helpless, check-in with yourself and make sure that you have the support you need.

Don't Shame.

It may seem, at times, like someone who is depressed is very preoccupied with their own life (or, more specifically, their own thoughts) but that doesn't make them selfish.

Avoiding making comments that shame them for how they are feeling such as:

"You only think about yourself."

"Other people have problems, too."

"You're thinking about yourself too much."

Implying that a person with depression doesn't care about other people provides no comfort and only fuels feelings of blame, shame, and guilt. People who experience depression still care about others.

Avoid Platitudes.

While this may be true, a person who is depressed may not have the perspective necessary to entertain the idea—let alone believe it.

Platitudes, clichés, and vague statements don't offer much for someone to hold on to in terms of hope...

So avoid making statements like:

"This too shall pass."

"Let it go."

"You'll get over it."

A person who is depressed may have a hard time envisioning the future because they are overwhelmed by the present.

It's also not easy to "let go" or "escape from" the past, especially for someone who experienced loss or trauma.

You may feel like you're offering hope by saying that, eventually, things will get better—but a person who is depressed may be frustrated wondering how long they will have to wait.

Instead of pushing them to focus on the future or forget about the past:

Do your best to be present with them at the moment.

Just sit with them and try not to worry about saying the right or wrong thing.

You may find the most helpful thing you can do is listen.

It's tough to find helpful words to someone who is feeling depressed. Don't be afraid to say, "I am not sure what to say right now."

Stay mindful that the words you know can make a big difference. And if you're not careful, your words might do more harm than good.

If you think you've said something hurtful in the past, apologize. Explain that you weren't sure what to say or that you didn't understand. An apology can help someone begin feeling better if your words haven't been helpful in the past.

Need Help? Contact a suicide hotline if you need someone to talk to. If you have a friend in need of help, please encourage that person to contact a suicide hotline as well.

Reach out to @MentallyAwareNG. Hotlines: 08111680686, 08091116264, 09060097915, 09060097915.

If you need someone to talk to, please get help from a trained professional as quickly as possible.

Reach out to @dedoyinajayi & @larmmy.

If you are having thoughts of self-harm, suicide, or depression, I encourage you to please reach out to someone and request help.

Please know that there are people out there who care about you, and that you are not alone. ❤❤❤