It's day 3! Big day today, I'M GONNA STAND UP!
Links below if you're just joining the party. Yesterday was hard so I didn't post as much as I wanted. Hoping today will be a little more smooth. ☺️
Links below if you're just joining the party. Yesterday was hard so I didn't post as much as I wanted. Hoping today will be a little more smooth. ☺️
If you're just joining in, head back to the start:
https://twitter.com/cassesque/status/1374454275036737538?s=19
Also support your nearest transition fund ♥️ and if you like nice stuff hanging from your face go to slowgoldie.com she's not paying me anything, I just love her face and she's been there for me since I was a baby tran in London ♥️♥️♥️ 
If you say TRANS RIGHTS in the order notes you won't get anything free but she'll be slightly confused and do her nice smile which is a good thing 👌
Anyway you join me for another round of PEACHES UPDATE:
The update is she's sleeping. We've just had a call with her other mum (also my fiancée) which I only cried once for! I'm getting better with the whole crying for any reason thing.
The update is she's sleeping. We've just had a call with her other mum (also my fiancée) which I only cried once for! I'm getting better with the whole crying for any reason thing.
On the agenda today is:
-some intimate stuff I won't be covering but is 👌
-drains out. This will be weird but not painful, in theory.
-call from work about a cool thing I got great, if poorly timed news about yesterday
-sitting out by the window for 30 min.
-some intimate stuff I won't be covering but is 👌
-drains out. This will be weird but not painful, in theory.
-call from work about a cool thing I got great, if poorly timed news about yesterday
-sitting out by the window for 30 min.
Right let's go- I have been awake since just after midnight. Diazepam helped me sleep but pain woke me up. It's positional- when I'm on my side I am pain free. But I'm not allowed to stay on my side. I've had nefopam, diclofenac, and now morphine, which I wanted to avoid :/
Gonna get a bit medical. I'm just venting at this point, sorry if it's less accessible. The pain is like someone inflating a balloon on my pelvis. It's classic retention pain, but my catheter seems to be draining. Diclofenac should also have reduced any prostate swelling.
Because of HRT, my prostate is already atrophied so it's a weak contender. So much else has been messed around with that it could be from anywhere. That said, Im gonna ask for a bladder scan next, I think. I'm sure they'd have one at a surgical hospital right?
If that's negative, I'm going to ask what the actual risks are of lying on my side. Because I can't cope with this pain lying flat, especially knowing all I need to do is turn to make it stop.
Sorry for the downer.
PEACHES UPDATE: Fixed, probably.
Bladder scan inconclusive, the swelling and catheter made it impossible to see. She flushed it anyway and yassssss it's flowing. I'm so happy. She's getting me some more water, then I'm going to sleep. ☺️
Bladder scan inconclusive, the swelling and catheter made it impossible to see. She flushed it anyway and yassssss it's flowing. I'm so happy. She's getting me some more water, then I'm going to sleep. ☺️
I SLEPT. OH MY GOD. THANK YOU ANONYMOUS NURSE. It was retention- instant relief and out like a light. I have newfound sympathy for our patients with blocked caths- I can't describe what it was like at the end there. It was only about 800ml, I've looked after people with litres.
Guys I am GLOWING. It hurt so much. Back to discomfort now. Today I'm gonna sit out for half an hour. Apparently it's gonna be relief and a little painful. I can't wait. Also drains out!
Sorry for the stream of consciousness. I'm buzzing :)
Sorry for the stream of consciousness. I'm buzzing :)
Relaxing morning talking to friends! My biggest ✨must bring✨ item that isn't on the list you get has gotta be one of these bad boys.
Like if I didn't have this on the back of my phone I would have 2 black eyes now. It makes holding your phone above your face so easy. Also a cool stand for watching stuff and video calling people. Big fan.
Anyway here's a cool thing I've realised: since my bowel is totally empty, I can feel like individual farts making their way round. Cool is absolutely the right word. I can feel them in my small intestine as like a dull glow and then they get to my large bowel
And I literally feel them start in the bottom right, head up, across, down and round. Takes just under a minute. Idk if this is actually exciting or if I've lost my mind lying here alone for 3 days, but either way I'm thoroughly enjoying it 😂
BACK ON TRACK PALS
Right so lots of stuff just happened all at once!
Most importantly, birbs. There are some Kestrels nesting here and they have a webcam set up. You just missed one. They are smöl.
Right so lots of stuff just happened all at once!
Most importantly, birbs. There are some Kestrels nesting here and they have a webcam set up. You just missed one. They are smöl.
You may also notice NO FLOWTRON BOOTS. My nemesis is vanquished. Still got TEDs on, they'll stay until I'm walking on the reg, but that harrowing noise is gone. We love to see it!
Drains out. You all got it wrong: which way you breath doesn't matter, it's just distraction.
Drains out. You all got it wrong: which way you breath doesn't matter, it's just distraction.
Sorry 🤷♀️
Also I'm wearing my own top which you won't be seeing a picture of because I look like a troll, but here's a photo of me wearing it when I was vertical in the before times :) it's great to feel human.
Toast tonight. Can't wait.
Also I'm wearing my own top which you won't be seeing a picture of because I look like a troll, but here's a photo of me wearing it when I was vertical in the before times :) it's great to feel human.
Toast tonight. Can't wait.
You know what actually have a photo. Let's keep it real. ♥️
BIRB
I am also sat up like 10 degrees and it feels. So. Good.
I forgot what time is and messed up, I'm actually not sitting out today. It's toast day today, sitting tomorrow. ♥️♥️
I forgot what time is and messed up, I'm actually not sitting out today. It's toast day today, sitting tomorrow. ♥️♥️
So I want to be clear that it is 100% fatphobic to gatekeep gender affirming surgery for people with a BMI over 30 on the NHS, whilst being more flexible privately. However.
I am so glad I lost weight for this. Of you're not caught up, I lost 10kg and counting. Stopping HRT made this pretty easy, and the threat of having this cancelled made it even easier. Why should I care though?
1) I feel better about myself
2) My old clothes fit me
3) The op will have a more symmetric outcome
4) (this is the main one right now) laying flat for 72 hours has been torture. My ribs, spine, pelvis, heels are killing. Any extra weight would have been so much worse.
2) My old clothes fit me
3) The op will have a more symmetric outcome
4) (this is the main one right now) laying flat for 72 hours has been torture. My ribs, spine, pelvis, heels are killing. Any extra weight would have been so much worse.
Had a bit of a rough time this last hour. It's a bit intimate (as if the rest of this wasn't lol) so I don't think I wanna discuss it here, but I had some meds and now it's grand.
Sorry we're in a bit of a lull, guys. I'm hoping once I'm more upright over the weekend I can get the tablet out and actually write some actual things. At the minute I'm just slowly switching positions which are all different variations of flat and tense haha. Not great content.
IT'S TIME
Fun Cass trivia: I have two weaknesses.
1) being criticised in any way
2) fear of vomiting
I have had metoclopramide already and have made my nurse promise that she has cyclizine ready to draw up. I am still quite scared though. I haven't eaten since the last toast.
1) being criticised in any way
2) fear of vomiting
I have had metoclopramide already and have made my nurse promise that she has cyclizine ready to draw up. I am still quite scared though. I haven't eaten since the last toast.
See you on the other side
Thanks for sticking with me today pals. Mainly rest. Standing tomorrow and Sunday, then big day monday. Exciting times! Look after yourselves ♥️
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