modern wangxian au where cultivators are professors in an esteemed university.

lwj and wwx are both mathematics professors, and somehow proficient in music too. jc is the head of sports department and captain of swim team. nhs for sociology and wq for biology.
wwx: lan zhan, i heard you like math so what's the sum of U+Me
lwj: nil.
wwx: lan zhan, you're so a-cute!
lwj: you are ridiculous.

wwx: lan zhan, if i were tan²x and you were cos²x , together we'd be one.
lwj: it is sin²x + cos²x that equals to one.
wwx: jiang cheng, how's this line??? "i wish i was your calculus homework, because then i'd be hard and you'd be doing me on your desk"????
jc: are you fucking serious.
wwx: no lol i wouldnt say THAT to him im not THAT shameless
jc: are you fucking serious.
wwx: yes. i mean... it’s just a joke! ive been throwing him all these lines for like ten semesters lmfao
jc: i have a feeling professor lan would... like that.
wwx: like what?
jc: the line.
wwx: the doing-me-on-his-desk line?
jc: yes. that line.
wwx: RIGHT!? it’s so funny!
jc: 😑
well, jc did tell wwx that lwj would like that line. so today is the day wwx tells it to lwj.

wwx: hey lan zhan.
lwj: what is it, wei ying?
wwx: i wish i was your calculus homework, because then i'd be hard, and you'd be doing me on your desk right there 😉
lwj has had enough of all this teasing. he’s had it. ten semesters of wwx talking to him and him trying so hard not to crack. lwj’s been in love with that smart mouth ever since he was transferred from yunmeng to gusu.

lwj has one (1) line for wwx.
lwj: wei ying.
wwx: yes? was that the best line you’ve heard thus far? is that a winner?

a beat passes.

lwj: i’m a 90º angle because i’m not straight.
wwx: you’re a 90º angle... 😳 because you’re not straight 😳
lwj: i am not.
wwx: oh.
lwj: i apologise for my straightforwardness. i understand if you want to see yourself out of my room now.

see himself out? wwx? out of this situation? that he’s been wanting to be in since day 1 in gusu university?

wwx: id like to stay, very much.
and then, wwx becomes lwj’s calculus homework that is so hard, lwj is doing him on his office desk.

his half-marked student papers all over the floor. pens, papers, files. it’s the first time ever that professor lan’s office is this messy.
“a-and here i th-thought i was the shameless one... spewing all those lines at you this whole time,” wwx manages to say as lwj pushes him against his desk.

“you thought wrong,” lwj finalises, assures, confirms.
“oh and wei ying, you’re a 45º angl—“

“because i’m not straight too?”

“yes. and also because you’re perfect,” lwj throws in another line.

“oh fuck me,” wwx curses under his breath hearing how SMOOTH lwj—his colleague, the man he’s been crushing on—actually is.

“i will.”
apparently wwx didn’t say the words Oh Fuck Me that softly and lwj hears it.

and did lwj just say... that he will?

yes he certainly did say that and he does just that.
it’s a good thing that wwx decided to enter lwj’s office after working hours (lwj is a workaholic that always works overtime). otherwise, all their other colleagues would be hearing far more than just mathematics pickup lines from professor lan’s office.
so ever since their Hardest Calculus Homework day, they’re inseparable, sickeningly (according to jc) in love. they’re the happiest they’ve ever been.

three semesters after, they got engaged. another six semesters later, they got married.


ayyyyy!!! thank u for making it down here guys! it was just a random thought that wwx would totally be the type to throw maths pickup lines at lwj WITHOUT knowing they’re pickup lines and instead, thinking they’re just jokes and it drives lwj InSAnE.
i hope it was fun to read as it was fun to write!

and one last one, lwj plugs his solution to wwx’s equation 😉

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