Thread by @eaton

One of the weird things about growing up in purity culture is internalizing the symbolism of virginity-as-property and violence-as-care.

https://twitter.com/thesarahyork/status/1376709684699099137

"Your dad would murder any boy who slept with you!" was a frequently heard, unironic compliment to young women, meant to convey: "You are loved and valued and protected!" But even ignoring the question of agency (guess what, young women are horny, too) it's incredibly hollow.

It reduces the idea of a close and supportive relationship between a father and daughter to "I will do violence to someone who hurts you."

There is no corollary attention paid to the question of, "What does a person whose heart has been hurt *need* from a caring father?"

That isn't to say that some dads didn't model that or work to establish a healthy emotionally supportive relationship outside the context of "violence to protect purity;" but the collective communal discussion around that side of it was shriveled and underdeveloped in comparison.

You can say, "Ah, but these pictures are a joke! Not real threats!"

But it's still the narrative of purity culture, even when it's just performative. Boys are agents who can act badly, girls are treasure to be guarded until a boy wins it, and girls who don't fit that are Bad™

It fucks with peoples' heads. It tells fathers (who are generally confused enough in our culture about how to best do right by their kids) that their job is, as always, Threat Of Violence In The Background rather than Support In Growing And Deciding.