#MedTwitter 🧵
As a doctor, there are a few things more therapeutic than to sit quietly with a patient while they grieve.
While they sorrow.
While they hurt.
Just be present.
As an empathetic witness.
And quietly affirm their humanity.
And yours.
1/
As a doctor, there are a few things more therapeutic than to sit quietly with a patient while they grieve.
While they sorrow.
While they hurt.
Just be present.
As an empathetic witness.
And quietly affirm their humanity.
And yours.
1/
We do not always have to have the answer.
We do not always have to “fix” it.
That’s ok.
But we can always connect.
And be in relationship.
And be in community.
With our patients.
And each other.
And our own selves.
2/
We do not always have to “fix” it.
That’s ok.
But we can always connect.
And be in relationship.
And be in community.
With our patients.
And each other.
And our own selves.
2/
I had to remind myself of this yesterday as I bore witness to the grief of a patient
Who lost all her property in a house fire.
None of her family was stepping up to help.
She was in physical, emotional, and spiritual pain.
And she was angry.
Rightfully so.
3/
Who lost all her property in a house fire.
None of her family was stepping up to help.
She was in physical, emotional, and spiritual pain.
And she was angry.
Rightfully so.
3/
She cried aloud, and swore, and yelled.
I didn’t have an answer.
I couldn’t “fix it”.
So, I quietly bore witness to her humanity.
I bent down to get on eye-level, bowed down my head, placed my hand on her shoulder and gently massaged it,
while she raged.
4/
I didn’t have an answer.
I couldn’t “fix it”.
So, I quietly bore witness to her humanity.
I bent down to get on eye-level, bowed down my head, placed my hand on her shoulder and gently massaged it,
while she raged.
4/
After she quieted down, I affirmed her experiences, feelings, & fears.
I confessed my limitations.
And I offered up myself as a partner to “figure this out” somehow.
I reminded her of her own strengths & resilience & encouraged her to journal about her feelings & thoughts
5/
I confessed my limitations.
And I offered up myself as a partner to “figure this out” somehow.
I reminded her of her own strengths & resilience & encouraged her to journal about her feelings & thoughts
5/
We got her paper and a pen.
I asked her to also journal about times when she overcame struggles and challenges - including waking up this morning.
I shared the serenity prayer with her.
It is a tool that I’ve found incredibly helpful for myself and for many patients.
6/
I asked her to also journal about times when she overcame struggles and challenges - including waking up this morning.
I shared the serenity prayer with her.
It is a tool that I’ve found incredibly helpful for myself and for many patients.
6/
Getting clear on what I can control & what I can’t is everything.
As I said it out loud to her, I could feel my own heart slow down, my muscles relax, my lips relax into a smile.
Mirroring hers.
7/
As I said it out loud to her, I could feel my own heart slow down, my muscles relax, my lips relax into a smile.
Mirroring hers.
7/
As a doctor, there are a few things more therapeutic than to sit quietly with a patient while they grieve.
The therapeutic effect is not just for the patient.
It’s for us, as well.
~End~
The therapeutic effect is not just for the patient.
It’s for us, as well.
~End~
PS: We are working with hospital social work to support her housing needs, but happy to take suggestions for resources that would support her as a survivor of a house fire.
🙏🏾
🙏🏾
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