Thread by @anonmochi1

#goyuu

rent a boyfriend gojo. modern au. so satoru enjoys being annoying and/or a nuisance to others, so why not profit off of it?

have to attend a family gathering and want to piss off some family members? name their pet peeves and satoru will gladly do all of them.

want your ex to come crawling back to you? satoru will do everything in his power, including steamy makeout sessions, to make that ex unbelievably jealous.

once, he pretended as megumi's boyfriend to aggravate his father. it worked perfectly since he used to sleep with toji

in the past.

overall, satoru enjoys this rent a boyfriend job. it's hilarious.

then one day a sweet young man named yuuji approaches him. from what he heard, megumi refers yuuji to his services. he's quite straightforward.

"please be my fake boyfriend for a week."

knowing this guy's serious, he has the payment already prepared in an envelope. satoru learns that yuuji needs a fake boyfriend to help ease his grandfather's insecurities since he's old and pretty sickly.

"wouldn't it be better to have a fake girlfriend?"

yuuji turns a bit red.

"gramps found my stash of gay porn in high school."

"ah."

normally he would decline this kind of offer. there's nothing amusing about this. rather, this job seems like a hassle with the amount of work he has to act charming, but he'll make an exception.

even satoru himself doesn't know why, maybe it's the way he goes off into a tangent while they confirm their fake romantic backstory, the way he talks about his aspirations as a firefighter and how training is hard but fun. how he adores his gramps and calls him a tsundere

even though satoru has an inkling he sounds like a huge grouch. or the way he fondly talks about his delinquent brother and his protective streak, or the way yuuji wants to show gramps he has nothing to worry about after he passes away.

that's when the epiphany hits him. yuuji is a 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 guy. satoru isn't the friendliest bunch, and most people with common sense and a decent head steer clear of him. so he's kinda stumped about impressing yuuji's family, especially when he's a good guy.

yuuji learns about satoru too. about his job as a teacher, but he lost his passion along the way. maybe burnout or something he jokes. yet, he's too irritated at the current educational system to ignore it. he mentions about his conquests and other clients. yuuji says

he liked the one where he obnoxiously pretended to be drunk in front of this girl named utahime. gotta play the crappy boyfriend to the max so then her estranged crush shoko could save her like a knight in shining armor.

yet, despite his reservations, somehow he pulls it off. gramps complains that satoru is too pretty and looks like a womanizer (he's not wrong). sukuna eyes them suspiciously and mentions that for a couple, they're not really handsy and gross.

satoru manages to shut him up when he tilts yuuji's chin and kisses him with a loud smack. he even sneaks in an ass squeeze.

"wanted to make a good impression in front of the fam," he teases sukuna. "but if you want us to hump each other so badly, let me know," he winks.

"ew."

afterwards, yuuji thanks satoru for his help.

"just doing my job," he waves off.

even though he helped gramps wash dishes. helped yuuji win a video game against his brother. brought them fancy drinks and snacks while they watch a movie. you know, just normal boyfriend things.

well, he hopes they were normal boyfriend things since he's never been a normal boyfriend.

"i know," yuuji responds with kind eyes and a kinder smile. "but it means a lot."

his heart throbs at the thought this fake relationship is ending. after all, he enjoyed being

embraced, being coddled when he's drunk and cuddly, being loved even though it's pretend. also it's quite fun seeing gramps and sukuna doing the shovel talk on his fake boyfriend.

xxx

for some weird reason, the fun in this rent a boyfriend business is getting lackluster.

what's worse is that he doesn't know why.

"maybe it's time for me to close this business for good," he comments to suguru after the 5th job. instead of satisfaction, he feels empty.

yet, next week, yuuji appears before him again.

"sorry!" he bows.

"gramps invited us on a camping trip, and i know you're retired but-"

"deal."

"huh?" yuuji gapes. he's not expecting such a quick response ever since megumi told him satoru is quitting the rent a boyfriend business.

satoru smiles. for some reason, this sounds fun.

"i'll be your boyfriend," he says. "i'll even give you a discount."

he can't wait to eat some smores. and accidentally put some burned marshmallows on sukuna's hair... and maybe watching the stars and the beautiful night sky with yuuji.

end.