that fear of abandonment be fucking people up during intimate relationships. without doing that shadow work about where that fear comes from and working everyday to understand it and disprove it logically, the relationships always end up catastrophic and rollercoastery.
it's sad seeing the love bomb in the beginning or one give off an unreasonable amount of passion and intensity because they want to win someone over real bad to ensure they don't leave. then when they get a slight hint of dissatisfaction from their partner they start panicking.
it sucks when they think no matter how good things seem, the relationship is doomed. then its hard for them to believe that people will actually be there for them so they start self-sabotaging & projecting unreliable personality traits on the person who is really there for them.
they start clinging to the person which also ends up in self-fulfilling prophecy that the person will leave bc this pushes a person who isn't enjoying that level of neediness away. they'll even display fits of anger at the idea of losing their person to someone or something else.
some people who become aware that intimate relationships trigger this side of them that they don't recognize may avoid intimate relationships altogether because they hate the feeling of loss. they've convinced themselves they are incapable of coping with loss so they avoid.
what they don't realize is they go after people who present SOME level of reliability in terms of stability in a relationship but not FULL reliability. they're inadvertently continuing to perpetuate the belief from childhood that everybody leaves by choosing ppl who COULD leave.
some may not realize that unstable relationships are their comfort zone because of what they experienced during childhood. anything that is stable and easygoing may feel too foreign to them causing them to run or sabotage. they tend to reenact childhood abandonment.
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