Ade Profile picture
9 Apr, 7 tweets, 2 min read
Hot take but many inspirational quotes are ableist; "just do it! will is power! The power of the mind!". That's exactly what ADHDers cannot do. Like, neurologically cannot do. Also true for other neurodivergent people, brain fog, chronic illness, etc.
There's so many scenarios where people cannot "just do it". And yet it keeps being pushed down our throats and we're shamed and made feel like failures when we can't achieve those unrealistic expectations. Making everyone believe the power of will is enough is a big, ableist lie.
That "will of power" discourse inevitably leads to "if they don't do it, they must not want to do it". So people who cannot do it start hearing "you don't care. You're selfish. You're lazy". That's where the guilt starts. The self deprecation. The depression. The distress.
So you have disabled people who keep trying their best to meet unrealistic expectations and falling short every time, causing self esteem issues and affecting their mental health. Without knowing why, not understanding what's wrong with them, feeling like a failure.
As long as that discourse exists, many disabled people will fall into that endless cycle of shame and distress. It takes years, luck and perseverance to understand yourself and stop buying into it. And even then, that guilt is ingrained and resurfaces to make you doubt yourself.
It's a burden most of us carry for the rest of our lives, lurking in the back of our heads. Wondering if we're faking it, if we're enough, if we aren't just lazy, if we could maybe try harder. It might never fully go away.

Power of will discourse is toxic, ableist and damaging.
If you're going through this, remember, you're not alone! Finding a community of people like you really helps sharing the burden and finding reassurance. There's many people who understand and relate to your struggles. Don't give up 💖

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More from @ADHDelaide

11 Apr
What people think ADHD is: little boys bouncing in their chairs, not paying attention.

What ADHD is: Not being able to do the things you want to do, get chastised, blame yourself for it. Repeat until any rejection feels unbearable and emotionally painful. Suffer in silence.
The perception people have of ADHD and our reality are very different. Inattention and hyperactivity can be annoying, but they're not that debilitating. Usually, the most impairing traits are our inability to start tasks we want to do and difficulty controlling our feelings.
While inattention and specially hyperactivity are more visible from the outside, emotional dysregulation and difficulty initiating tasks can be more easily camouflaged, and they might go unnoticed. It's important to know them and address them to improve quality of life.
Read 4 tweets
7 Apr
Thinking about all those undiagnosed ADHDers who are teenagers now.

It's one of the hardest times of our lives. It's often dismissed as "a normal teen phase" and our suffering goes unnoticed, so we think it's normal to feel wrecked by minor rejections. And it's not. 🧵
During that time, low tolerance to frustration reaches new levels. It's something present in both teenagers and ADHD, so it's explosive. Irritability and anger can also be common. They're almost impossible to control, and we keep being blamed for it, worsening everything.
Feelings are the biggest issue. Hormonal changes heigthen feelings in teenagers. Adding that to the intense, overwhelming feelings many ADHDers feel, every little thing feels like the end of the world. It's wrecking, it's not pretty.
Read 8 tweets
11 Mar
Anxiety and ADHD, a thread.
Some ADHDers use anxiety as a coping mechanism to do stuff. You might've heard of "last minute panic", the rush of adrenaline caused by a deadline that will put your brain to work. While it might happen to people without ADHD too, many ADHDers rely purely on this to keep going.
ADHDers without anxiety as a coping mechanism are more likely to end up missing deadlines, so their grades are more likely to fall and they're more likely to get an ADHD diagnosis (they might be missed too, though). Meanwhile, anxious ADHDers will likely remain unnoticed.
Read 11 tweets
9 Mar
Let me get this straight, almost every adult around here realized they had ADHD on their own, did research for months, panicked, seeked a professional that wouldn't ignore them, and finally got an official diagnosis, and ppl still saying self diagnosis isn't valid? Sure hun
We would have never been diagnosed if we hadn't worked for it. I researched for TWO FUCKING YEARS before I found a place that wouldn't tell me off because I went to college. Many of us got officially diagnosed because we self diagnosed first. The system is fucking broken.
They only diagnose you if you bug your teachers and parents, and only if you're white and a guy. If you don't fit that stereotype and got diagnosed congrats, you found a unicorn. But that's not the norm, that's the exception.
Read 4 tweets
6 Dec 20
When you have ADHD, there's this "We can do anything we set our minds to!" mentality going around. And I just realized that it rubs me the wrong way because... well, comes with an invisible addendum: "but you have to finish it or you're a failure". And that's the problem. 1/n
We might be capable of doing anything, but our energy is limited and unpredictable. Losing interest in projects for us is a big deal, because often that's the only thing that keeps us going. Doing things without interest is almost impossible for people with ADHD. 2/n
It doesn't mean we can't complete long term projects (like PhDs), but it requires a lot of effort and external structure. Strategies to keep it fresh, make it shiny and exciting again. It's a lot of work! And we also have trouble realizing this and anticipating it. 3/n
Read 7 tweets
7 Oct 20
In case you're wondering what I mean with "my coping mechanisms have coping mechanisms", buckle up for this thread on how I try to avoid ADHD getting the best of me on a daily basis 🧵🐑

Disclaimer this might not be helpful at all just how I roll.
What drains me the most with ADHD is impatience. It triggers my impulsivity, which can turn into irritability and recklessness. It's not pleasant and it often makes me feel bad and drained afterwards, so trying to avoid that has become the focus of many of my coping mechanisms.
First I had to identify what made me impatient.

First thing in the list was driving. I get impatient when someone is driving slowly, which can pottentially lead me to do reckless stuff to pass them. Knowing this doesn't help avoiding it either.
Read 11 tweets

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