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Slava Malamud Profile picture
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13 Apr, 5 tweets, 2 min read
Let's do that baseball.
Currently explaining to my kid why you want your best on-base guys to be 1 and 2 in the lineup and your best power guys 3 and 4, and I feel like I built the fucking Statue of Liberty, invented the hot dog and won the Civil Motherfucking War.
It's 4-4, but Slava's offspring is predicting a "two-point loss." He might not be a baseball expert, but he knows how the story goes...
What we both love the most if the first-base coach, whose major function is to take the batter's gloves. Baseball is such a posh sport, it has a butler.
Thou shall walk off. And thou shall walk off to glory!

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More from @SlavaMalamud

Slava Malamud Profile picture
13 Apr
(Thread alert)
There is a tendency to assume that, due to the GOP's full-throated embrace of racism, culture wars and xenophobia, immigrants will naturally flock to the Dems. The same was assumed in the 1850s, leading to the advent of nativist Know-Nothings.
But this is a mirage
The reality on the ground, however, is very different and not necessarily favorable to Team Blue in the short term. This has to do with the mindset and attitudes of a lot of older immigrants. And there are several aspects to this mindset, because it's both stupid AND complex...
Let's take my own Russian-speaking community, which is probably about 80% Republican, oh whom probably about 80% is to the right of Josh Hawley, in the Marjorie Taylor Greene wheelhouse. I'm talking full-on "Democrats are evil's spawn and should be in the Gulag or dead" territory
Read 15 tweets
Slava Malamud Profile picture
13 Apr
Ticker Carlson thinks he is revealing a hidden truth. He has in fact dug up the corpse of Millard Fillmore.
Riling against immigrants because of their perceived voting tendencies is older than race riots.
Hey, Tucker, you decomposing pile of random fecal matter inexpertly carved into a humanoid bow-tied form, remember when Fillmore's Know Nothings made German-speaking immigrants into the bugaboo that Democrats were using to turn America into a realm of booze, slavery and Popery?
Of course you don't! You know why? Because it happened right before your own German-speaking ancestor arrived in this country to "replace" its native Nibelung ubermenschen with their alien, dirty, beer-swilling Hun hordes.
Of course you don't remember that, Fucker, do you?
Read 4 tweets
Slava Malamud Profile picture
12 Apr
I think, a big issue with police in America (besides racism) is the fact that police officers increasingly see themselves as an occupying force in hostile territory. Or as a sainted brotherhood of valorous paladins out to protect the realm of men from animalistic hordes.
This is an attitude constantly reinforced by frenzied rhetoric from the right and from inside law enforcement community. From "the [insert city name] finest" to the "thin blue line" flag: all these signals just feed the harmful and dangerous narrative that distorts police's role.
Crowning all this is the legitimate fear police officers have, having to work in a society armed to the teeth. So, instead of just having folks we have hired to enforce our societal norms, we have jumpy, scared, aggressive narcissists with delusions of superiority.
Read 4 tweets
Slava Malamud Profile picture
12 Apr
Before spending your money on Godzilla vs Kong, try to ask yourself the question of whether a random 7-year-old could have come up with the same exact script in about 3 minutes.
(The answer is "No, it would have been more complex and interesting")
If for no reason other than that the 7-year-old would have had one or both of the main characters die rather gruesomely.
And this is my main issue with the entire super-monster/superhero genre. They are all craven copouts. They are all filmed with a sequel in mind. All of their main themes are money, the acquiring and maximizing of.
In a really good superhero story, the main character dies.
Read 11 tweets
Slava Malamud Profile picture
7 Apr
I was so full of rage after listening to Carlson's revisionist garbage on the insurrection last night, I didn't even want to dignify it with a comment. But I am a rational adult, so I have slept on it, and I am ready now to give my measured response.
MOTHERFUCKER!
(Thread)
First of all, before I even engage in any point-by-point refutation of Tucker's avalanche of blithe cynical skullduggery, let's just be clear on what exactly he was doing.
He was not merely revising.
He was not merely excusing.
The motherfucker was ENCOURAGING.
PROMOTING. FUCK!
He made damn sure that his choice of words made all insurrectionists and potential insurrectionists feel not only justified but fucking ENTITLED to do this again, should any future election result be not to their liking. After all, what they did was merely trespassing, right?
Read 18 tweets
Slava Malamud Profile picture
7 Apr
Why is this still something people discuss? Was 1980 a smashing success? Did it destroy the USSR?
The Moscow Games were hailed in Russia as the greatest ever, lots of propaganda about scared Americans was happily swallowed, and 80 gold medals by the home team gratefully accepted.
I have to say here that I spoke with the late Al Oerter about this a long time ago. He was an anti-boycott activist turned pro-boycott. Al, one of the smartest people in sports ever, said that it wasn't about changing the "bad guys", it was about staying true to who we are.
It was about taking the pain and sticking to principles. A very Confucian approach. Very admirable. Al Oerter was an exceptional human being.
But this is 2021. Do we even know who we are anymore? Do the Olympics have any more ideals or principles left?
It's a sports showcase.
Read 4 tweets

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