I was so full of rage after listening to Carlson's revisionist garbage on the insurrection last night, I didn't even want to dignify it with a comment. But I am a rational adult, so I have slept on it, and I am ready now to give my measured response.
MOTHERFUCKER!
(Thread)
First of all, before I even engage in any point-by-point refutation of Tucker's avalanche of blithe cynical skullduggery, let's just be clear on what exactly he was doing.
He was not merely revising.
He was not merely excusing.
The motherfucker was ENCOURAGING.
PROMOTING. FUCK!
He made damn sure that his choice of words made all insurrectionists and potential insurrectionists feel not only justified but fucking ENTITLED to do this again, should any future election result be not to their liking. After all, what they did was merely trespassing, right?
"Not to be condoned, of course", but still pretty fucking OK, right? Because that's just "airing of grievances", that's what it was. In the "People's House", dontcha know. By folks from "unfashionable zip codes" who feel "disenfranchised" and raise legitimate concerns, right?
Fuck, I can practically taste economic anxiety here! Quick, does NYT have a spare reporter to send to a diner in Sowfuck, MO to hold a white dude's hand?
MOTHERFUCKER!
Yes, white folks with a victimhood complex, you are totally justified to storm buildings and threaten lawmakers!
You know, fuck it. I understand that should another insurrection occur, Carlson probably will not face any legal consequences for encouraging it, because he has already successfully test driven the "no reasonable person will ever take me seriously" defence.
Fuck him entirely.
But
since this narrative is already taking hold on the right, let's be 100% clear what it's all about. Let's be 100% clear what they are trying to do.
First, the obvious one: painting treasonous, insurrectionist, criminal acts as legitimate exercise of citizenship.
And they are given a pass on this, because our mainstream media and our society at large is preprogrammed to see a crowd of violent people as either lawless rioters or concerned citizens based solely on the color of their skin.
This is why this argument is made in the first place
Secondly, they are still, FUCKING STILL, perpetuating the gratuitous lie about Trumpers' being "disenfranchised" and "economically anxious" people from flyover country who are just concerned about losing their America to... I don't know, all that communism that's floating about?
FUCK THIS BULLSHIT RIGHT UP THE ASS! None of this is true. Literally. Not one word. Not one phoneme. It's all Grade A monkey feces. It's worse than claiming that Godzilla vs. Kong is a documentary. It's utter, absolute, complete, demonstrably manufactured GOBSHITE...
But don't take my accented immigrant's word for it. Here, feast on this. Here's an American with a "proper" name and everything, doing research in real fucking time.
I will distill this for you.
washingtonpost.com/opinions/2021/…
The dude began his study with the premise that Trumper rioters were indeed flyover economic anxiety victims. He thought the insurrection was "the final chapter of the 2008 recession" 🙄 He looked over the bios of nearly 400 arrested "grievance petitioners" - and what did he find?
He found that the Trumper traitors were disproportionally older, white-collar and better off financially than participants in all other protest movements. And whiter, of course, but that is tautology right here.
But what was the single greatest commonality between them?
The commonality was that they tended to come from communities where the share of non-Hispanic whites has drastically decreased in the recent years.
This was the one thing that united them.
Not economic anxiety: they are doing fine.
Not disenfranchisement: they vote in droves.
What united them was racial fear. Resentment of demographic changes. The perceived loss of the dominant status in society afforded to their race and culture.
This was not the final chapter of the 2008 recession.
It was the next chapter of the 2008 election!
This was the sentiment voiced to me loudly, proudly and in no uncertain terms by a fellow hockey parent in Maryland, who was a white-collar suburbanite from affluent Howard County, in 2016: "I finally get to vote for a politician who will take care of me as a white guy!"
This is all you need to know. And this is all Tucker Carlson is screaming at them from their TV screens: "It's OK to storm the Capitol building, because you are white and you are entitled to a president who makes you feel empowered to be white!"
This is all they want to hear, too
In conclusion, fuck Tuker Carlson. Fuck him with Matt Gaetz's hair.
This is all.

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More from @SlavaMalamud

7 Apr
Why is this still something people discuss? Was 1980 a smashing success? Did it destroy the USSR?
The Moscow Games were hailed in Russia as the greatest ever, lots of propaganda about scared Americans was happily swallowed, and 80 gold medals by the home team gratefully accepted.
I have to say here that I spoke with the late Al Oerter about this a long time ago. He was an anti-boycott activist turned pro-boycott. Al, one of the smartest people in sports ever, said that it wasn't about changing the "bad guys", it was about staying true to who we are.
It was about taking the pain and sticking to principles. A very Confucian approach. Very admirable. Al Oerter was an exceptional human being.
But this is 2021. Do we even know who we are anymore? Do the Olympics have any more ideals or principles left?
It's a sports showcase.
Read 4 tweets
5 Apr
Hey, jerkwad, listen up.
I am an immigrant. Yes, a dirty fucking immigrant who came to your country and is currently strutting around like he owns the place. I speak with an accent. I grew up watching soccer. I don't eat peanut butter.
And I am calling bullshit on your lies...
Oh my, baseball is getting politicized, you say? Holy crap, this like never happened before, you say? We can't allow to politicize something that is so unifying as sports, you say?
Yeah, sit the fuck down, you lump of semi-digested turnip, and let this immigrant educate your ass.
First of all, you balding monkey's ass, baseball was a unifying force in America's society for exactly zero seconds of its existence. It was universally beloved, yes, but unifying? Non-political? Ha!
Baseball was a subject of controversy from way back before it was even baseball!
Read 16 tweets
4 Apr
For 2000 years, a Jew's death has been commemorated by festive deaths of millions of people who didn't believe he was magic. Especially of his blood relatives.
Cultural appropriation is awesome!
"Loving one particular dead Jew specifically because he is dead so we can hate the rest of them" is an unbelievably badass move. As usual, Russians are Olympic gold medalists here.
I vividly remembered entering the Temple of the Holy Sepulcher ("WTF is a sepulcher?", my sister asked) and watching all these Russian/Ukrainian peasant women screaming in ecstasy as they writhed on the ground and thinking: "Damn, all a Jew needs to do to be loved there is die!"
Read 5 tweets
4 Apr
Reading about the history of Mormonism. Holy shit, are people ever gullible idiots!
I mean, Christianity, Judaism and Islam can always be excused by having been invented by and preached to backward, illiterate folks living in the middle of nowh... Oh.
Seriously, though! I mean, SERIOUSLY! The dude's family loses their farm and has to earn money by claiming to know a magic way to find buried treasure. That alone is enough to instantly dismiss the poor chap as a desperate fraud.
But the rest of it is just pure insanity.
But hey, why should adherents to an obviously insane and transparently invented lie not be respected for their sacred believes in magic underwear?
I mean, it's not like the "major" religions are any more believable. They just benefit from their origins' not being as well known.
Read 6 tweets
3 Apr
Remember when corporate America forced NC to back away from its bathroom bill? Well, in truth, most NC Republicans were just pandering to crazy, uneducated evangelical voters. They didn't really care.
This, though? Vote supression is an existential issue to GOP. They won't buckle
The GOP has convinced itself that high turnouts are deadly to it, so it has made it its mission to depress the turnout, especially in cities. This is how they plan to keep existing as a viable party. Life and death.
GOP's survival is contingent on killing democracy. In its mind.
They can coat it in any language they want ("robust", "secure" and "legal" are the buzz words de jour), but never let them get away with this. The intent is, always was, to suppress votes in blue-leaning areas.
Nothing else.
Nothing. Else.
Read 6 tweets
3 Apr
Sen. Graham is employing the word "robust" like three times in this thread. He also loves his "integrity."
Don't be fooled. These meaningless buzz words are ALWAYS used to mask the real purpose of these laws.
Which, of course, is to make it harder for black folks to vote.
"Robust" and "integrity" are talking-point words circulated in the GOP memo to make sure nobody accidentally says the quiet part loud.
The intent is as clear as day. The easiest example is the "no food or drink" provision. Look at it closely...
Pundits will defend it by saying many states prohibit gifts, including free food and water, being given to voters near the polling place.
What many states do indeed prohibit is electioneering, including bribery and enticement, near the polls. Food in exchange for a vote. That.
Read 6 tweets

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