Something that has been hugely beneficial to me is reframing ADHD outside of a pathologising deficit perspective. How would we describe ADHD if we weren't comparing it to a neurotypical standard? How would we describe it if we didn't implicitly accept that standard as better?
For example, ADHDers often feel like they feel things too deeply. But this world is not a moderate place, the injustices and joys are vivid and significant. Couldn't we also frame the indifference many neurotypicals seem to have as disconnected or unfeeling?
I've seen the ease at which ADHDers share personal information be described as "impulsive", "overbearing" and "self centered". But couldn't that also be seen as being warm, honest and trusting? Couldn't the opposite be pathologised as unsocial and defensively private?
I'm not saying that ND people are better than NT people. That's eugenicy haha. My point is that neurodivergence is not objectively worse than neurotypicalness. It's just different, and it's seen through a lens that describes it as less than, so we learn to understand it that way.
Yes, being an ADHDer is harder in this society. The world is built for neurotypicals. And even if we weren't in this specific world, there would still be things we find hard. But neurotypicals find some things hard too!
These are generalizations, but in my experience, ADHDers are better at understanding complex ideas, patterns, and social structures. We are more creative, and less likely to conform. But we don't say neurotypical people are deficient in critical thinking, do we?
We live in an ableist world, and the accomodations we need are only (and not always) given if we can fit into a diagnostic criteria that distills all of our complexities into a flat list of negative behaviours. I get that it's so hard to understand ourselves outside of that.
I also get that for many many people, the fall out they face for exhibiting ADHD traits is far bigger than mine, and there's much more pressure to conform to the neurotypical standard. I'm sure that being white means I face less pushback re my ADHD.
It's just that for me, understanding ADHD as intertwined with who I am, the good, the bad, the interesting, rather than a disease that I have on top of my otherwise neurotypical self, has been the most useful thing for my wellbeing.
I'm no longer fighting every sign of ADHD because I don't think that every part of ADHD is a bad thing. It's just part of me, and just like anyone, I have parts of me I like and parts of me I dislike.
Anyway yeah, your mileage may vary, but unpacking internalised ableism has helped me understand myself, and like myself again.
Should also mention that I've found @iwritecoolstuff and @erikaheidewald's content on here really useful for this reflection, and @Simsimminy1 irl (who is new to twitter but is probably the person who shapes my thoughts on ADHD the most).
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