Thread by @dResilientHuman

Your emotional brain is 6 BILLION TIMES more active than your thinking brain.

So when extreme emotions take over, you lose the ability to think straight.

Here are some healthy ways to deal with your strong emotions:

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1. Pause and take a breather

When you feel intense and extreme emotions rising,

here’s what you do first:
-Stop.
-Take a pause.
-Breathe in deep.
-Visualize the breathes rising deep from your belly.

Hold your breath for a count of three, then let it out slowly.

You will find this extremely difficult.

You will feel you are in danger. You will feel the urge to fight or flight.

But resist that urge.

Remember that you are not in control right now.

If you react now, you will regret it later.

2. Label your emotions.

What exactly are you feeling now?

Hint: “I’m feeling terrible” is not a valid answer.

(Unless you’re Ivan the Terrible. In that case, you should definitely keep on reading.)

Are you nervous?

Disappointed? Sad? Confused? Furious?

Before you can change how you feel,

you have to know what is it that you want to change.

Remember that anger is often a proxy for emotions like shame and embarrassment.

So try to be as clear and precise as you can.

3. Discover the ‘Why’ of your emotion.

Your emotions are neutral messengers.

They are here to guide you and give you clues.

Your job is to use the clues

to decode your emotions and solve the mystery.

You want to bring control back

and get the thinking brain engaged.

First, do a wellness inventory check.

Are you hungry, dehydrated, or just tired?

Here's what you can do:
- Grab something nutritious to eat.
- Drink a glass of water.
- Take a shower.
- Take a nap.

Still no good?

Then dig deeper while staying present.

Do not swing back to the past for an explanation.

Don’t try to predict your future either.

Instead, try to think rationally

What’s unique about the current situation that made you upset?

Get your thinking circuits engaged.

Your strong emotions will lose their hold over you

4. Spoil yourself a little with Mood Boosters

When you’re feeling extreme emotions, you need a distraction first.

What are your to-go happy activities?

It can be:
- Going for a walk
- Meditate for a few minutes
- Listen to uplifting music
- Reading a book

- Talking to a friend or a loved one
- Creating a gratitude list
- Writing a story or a poem
- Playing with play-doh
- Drawing and painting

Your work is still not done.

You only want to distract yourself

until the intensity of your emotions lowers to a manageable limit.

5. Bring your feelings to the real world

Now the fun part begins.

This is where you make your emotions something real.

Unleash them upon the world.

But how do you do that?

Pick your choice:
- Draw how you’re feeling.
- Punch and scream into a pillow

- Write about how you feel in your journal.
- Engage in exercise, martial art, or dancing.
- Write an expletive-laden letter to someone. Then rip the letter into pieces and burn it.

You’ll feel the tide ebbing slowly.

Your emotions are now out of your system.

You now know what has been bothering you.

Now you’ll figure out how best to respond

keeping in mind your goals and your personal values.

6. Choose how you want to react

This is the part you have been gearing up for.

Now that you’ve wrestled control from your feeling brain,

let the thinking brain do its job.

Think.

Ask yourself “what’s the solution?”

How can you take back control?

Has someone’s behavior upset you?

Talk to them.

Confront their behavior in a polite but assertive manner.

Use this template as is or modify as per your need:

“When you <do this>, then <this happens>, and I feel <what you feel>.
I’d prefer <if you do this>”

Now that you are not at the mercy of your emotions,

a myriad of ways and options will be available to you.

Here's a quick summary of what to do when emotions are running high:
- take a pause and breathe.
- name your emotions.
- find out why they came into being
- distract and fortify yourself for a while
- then get back cracking at a solution.