Thread by @Realoilsheikh

To my unmarried sister; yet to marry, or lost the marriage to divorce or death of spouse, listen attentively:

Thread

Not being married at this age in your life doesn't make you any less the gem you are as a woman. It doesn't take away anything from the worth Allah Has given you. Remember, you can only marry at Allah's appointed time. What is required of you is to be true to yourself & values.

Why worry over something you can't change really? Just the way Allah created you without your knowledge, so has He planned your life, including who you will marry & when. Just the way you can't marry yourself, so you can't marry yourself out. Why worry over something not

under your control? Societal pressure or peer pressure do make some of you rush to marry someone just so you answer a "Mrs". My sister, do not settle for less. Choose your priorities right. Some settle for fame, but it crashes. Some for lineage, and it crashes. What is yours?

Someone who will fear God in dealing with your affairs and is morally upright. This is a suggestion from our Noble Prophet, Peace of Allah be upon him. If you fail to abide, you may regret it or have to live with whatever you see later.

Marry a Muslim man that is sound in his Islam, by which he will deal with your affairs the way Allah commands. If he goes stray and you remind him about his rights or someone does, he'd remember and adjust. Marry someone who respects you, honors you and loves you.

Marry someone who will never forget the good you have done in the past even if you fail to keep it up with time and age. Remember the conversations between mother of believers, Ummuna Aisha (RA) & our Noble Prophet (SAW). One of those days, she said to the Prophet:

"Oh Messenger of Allah, why are you always preoccupied with the mention of Khadija (RA) even at death? Hasn't Allah substituted for you a younger, prettier & more adorable wife? (Referring to herself).

Immediately, the Prophet responded to Ummuna Aisha (RA) saying:

"Oh Aisha, by Allah, I have not gotten a substitute for Khadija (RA) yet. (And these are the reasons):

1. She believed in me when the whole world disbelieved in my message.

2. She encouraged me when I became overwhelmed with the message of Allah revealed upon me.

3. She supported me with her wealth to propagate the message of Islam when everyone held tight his wealth from me...

What prompted this conversation was that, Ummuna Aisha (RA) saw how the Prophet (SAW) respects & treats every one that was close to Khadija (RA) even at death.

He (SAW) would greet them when they pass, he would extend good messages & gifts to the friends of his late wife & so on. This falls under the concept of remembering the good old days between you and your spouse. This is a great virtue.

Marry someone that would respect you while you're alive or at death. Someone that sees your parent as his, your sisters as his & your brothers as his. Do not rush into marriages you are sure won't last forever. Make a good choice, pray & rely on Allah.

It isn't an honor that you date many men while you know you will end up marrying only one. Put your senses in one place. It isn't also honorable that you display all your beauty on social media seeking for attention. Am unwrapped chocolate attracts flies & insects.

As a woman, your honor means a lot . It doesn't stops at you. It permeates to your unborn children & grandchildren. You are a treasure & life makes no meaning without a woman. You're created especially special, decorated with distinct feminine attributes, of gentility, reticent,

bashfulness, reserveness, & the tenancy to dominate the world. Immediately you let down any of such, for societal pressure or anything, you lose & the society takes advantage of you. Our lives are as delicate as we are all, as humans. We have our Ups & Downs. Our good & bad.

We can't be happy at all times. We can't get what we want at all times we want them. Allah Has a plan for each and everyone of us, and that is what will be. We must learn to appreciate whatever we have while working & praying for the best we so so desire & deserve.

Divorce isnt a curse. Allah made it lawful & even revealed so many verses on how to go about it because there are reasons to it. Sometimes, divorce is better than an abusive marriage. It is better than living in bondage. This is why it is again lawful for a woman to seek for

it legally when there are abuses in the marriage, or she is no longer interested because she has fallen out of love. In fact, in a shariah law, the judge can force a man to divorce a woman if there is harm in the marriage or even divorce her on behalf of the husband & it stands.

Harms in marriages are not necessarily physical harms. Emotional harm is one, because most times it can lead to deadly depression or even worse. Being a divorcee doesn't make you less a woman by an inch. Infact, majority of the wives of the Prophet (SAW) were widows or divorcees.

Ummuna Hafsat (RA) for instance was a widow, & Ummuna Sawdah (RA) was a divorcee. Take your marriage challenges as a phase Allah Has designed for you. While you pray for better ways, live with what you have and be happy.

If anything, the society we live in has been largely unfair to unmarried ladies. As fathers, brothers, sons, husbands, uncles, friends, we should be able to assuage our women, young or old. We should not be part of the problem if we can't be a solution to it.