Thread by @justinkan

@garrytan's initial investment of $300K in @coinbase since 2012 is now worth over $2 billion.

But his journey to success has been no fairytale.

Here's what you need to know about masks, expectations, and mental health in your own journey to success:

Garry grew up with an alcoholic father, and suffered abuse and traumatic events that affected him throughout his life.

A fearful mindset of scarcity was seared into his mind at a young age.

Throughout Garry’s life, extrinsic markers such as good grades, financial success, and even his YouTube channel have created a performance of his identity.

This mask was a defense mechanism against the painful world around him.

I struggled with this too, as someone who used to heavily peg my own self-worth on impressing those around me, and obsessively giving a good 'performance' of myself.

The companies I built, the success and accolades I received were mostly for extrinsic validation.

For both garry and I, learning to let go of this mask was a terrifying, but necessary step.

Embracing vulnerability and trust was what allowed us to truly connect with others and accept ourselves in a genuine manner.

Garry's father imposed harsh expectations on him, and this manifested in ugly ways even though deep down it was motivated by love. Expressions of such expectations can twist even 'love' into something sinister and ugly.

Key Lessons I learned from talking with Garry:

1: Start therapy work early

It took us years to realize that the simple narratives that we often tell ourselves aren't always true. The earlier you get to work on yourself, the better. Book in a therapy session and start on that process.

2: Let down your mask

Behind every mask is a story, and knowing that story helps us to truly connect with each other. When you are upfront about the battles you are fighting, you gain more respect and affinity as a leader.

3: Expectations can be destructive

Knowing how dangerous expectations can be, both for yourself and other people, is extremely important to finding happiness for yourself and the ones you care about. Don't impose or project your pain onto people you love.

You can read the whole article, including a story about how Yahoo almost bought my web calendar app for $1 million on my weekly newsletter: (below)

Subscribe to read all my thoughts - from startup, business, and tech advice to wellbeing and everything in between.

thequestpod.substack.com/p/therapy-mask…

Check out my brand new YouTube channel for my podcast @thequest_pod, to catch all the amazing conversations with my guests:

youtube.com/channel/UC8xRI…