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The Volatile Mermaid

24 Apr, 8 tweets, 2 min read

I AM A GROWN REPUBLICAN CHRISTIAN MAN AND I AM UPSET THAT DISNEY WORLD HAS REMOVED RACISM AND DEPICTIONS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT FROM MY FAVORITE CHILDREN’S RIDES!

They changed the theme of Splash Mountain, which was initially Song of the South, a movie no kids today remember and so racist that Disney locked it in the vault forever, to Princess & the Frog which introduced the first Black Disney Princess.

One awful change made to Pirates of the Caribbean that offends this dude’s “Republican Christian values” is that Disney removed the animatronic pirates, arms out, chasing terrified animatronic women around. How dare they?!

They removed Trader Sam, a grotesquely racist depiction of an African man selling shrunken heads near a group of spear-wielding African “head-hunters” with piles of human skulls at their feet. What a mood killer!

Sorry, but as a grown-ass woman who still loves Disney World, I feel the compulsion to defend their decisions and clarify the “wokeness” this moron is bitching about. Fin.

This whole opinion piece is just one giant self own.

Ok now I’m really done.

https://twitter.com/CoreyRForrester/status/1385661216002093059

Lol

https://twitter.com/CoreyRForrester/status/1385661216002093059

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The Volatile Mermaid

@OhNoSheTwitnt

6 Mar

“But how will I explain a gay Disney princess to my kid?”

Jesus Christ, people, it’s not like she’s going to fuck a woman on screen. Pretty simple to say “some girls like boys and some girls like girls.”

Better questions:

How do I explain a woman living with 7 men as their maid getting kissed by some dude while she was unconscious?

How do I explain a 16 year old fish girl marrying the first man she ever met?

How do I explain a woman falling in love with her verbally abusive captor who happens to be a literal monster?

How do I explain a woman who literally has the power to create life out of snow?

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The Volatile Mermaid

@OhNoSheTwitnt

10 Jan

“We need to move on from this” say the Republicans who have been talking about Hillary Clinton for the last 4 fucking years.

It’s just a violent coup in which 5 people died, it’s not like it’s emails!

Hi while I appreciate every person in my mentions saying “more like 8 years” or “more like 20 years” or whatever, I’m just referring to the election. Also maybe read the replies before you reply the same fucking thing as 50 other people thanks.

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The Volatile Mermaid

@OhNoSheTwitnt

31 Dec 20

BREAKING: THERE IS A TINY OWL ON MY FENCE POST

Either the owl is here to send me on a side quest or it’s delivering a tiny letter from Hogwarts. Either way, it needs a name. I don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl so I decided it’s a girl and now she needs a name. Suggestions welcome.

So far I’ve come up with
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Owl Green
Owl Sharptalon
Rapunzowl
Samuel Owl Jackson
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The Volatile Mermaid

@OhNoSheTwitnt

31 Dec 20

[watching Return of the King with my husband]

Me: The problem is that this is a patriarchy. If they had women in charge there wouldn’t even be a stupid war.

Him: (exasperated sigh)

Me: If they’re going to reference Zeppelin lyrics in this so much in these long-ass movies why not play some fucking Zeppelin.

Him: (Turns off tv)

Me: Who’s that Targaryen motherfucker?

Him: He’s not a Targaryen he’s the witch king of-

Me: You can’t fool me, he’s riding a dragon.

Him: It’s not a dragon it’s a-

Me: Bro I think I know a dragon when I see one.

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The Volatile Mermaid

@OhNoSheTwitnt

2 Dec 20

Very surprised that the dude whose airline, casinos, university, beverage brand, steaks, vodka, and magazine failed would blow millions of dollars on giving his opponent even more votes.