Thread by @Kimuzi_

Its better being single and sane. Single and happy. Single and joyful than being in a toxic relationship. Couples with one manipulative partner, or both manipulative partners. With empirical evidence, by observation, toxic shitty relationship and couples.

A thread!

First Scenario.
Otieno.
A nice loving guy. A guy with a promissory future. A dedicated guy with vivid goals, defined future and a good circle of friends. His life is happy and really going well. He is 23. Pursuing a diploma in civil engineering. He is artistic and skillful.

During his 2nd year at JOUST, he meets some random girl, Mwende, in the library. They undergo the process, i.e..taking nos..texting, meeting again, dates...blah blah. After sometime, they fall in love and become a couple. This is what any man desires. A stable relationship.

It all begins when he wants to watch a Chelsea vs Arsenal match. Mwende is moody and irritable. But she lets him go. The game ends, he comes back at 12 in the night. "Umekuwa wapi adi saizi?" "Si game ilifaa kuisha mapema" Cold reception and scolding. No 1 red flag he never saw.

Curtailing his movement. Stinky cheeky Mwende Next, "Nani uyo anakupigia saizi?". Otieno is a freelancer, he must work to meet ends. Calls can come in anytime of the day or night. 2nd red flag, being questioned about who you interact with. First it was movement, next interaction

Otieno starts apologizing, coz Mwende has a soft skin with yellow thighs and a charming smile. Ofcos its not Otieno alone, a fisherman from Homabay, who taps her. She has options. She uses this well. Otieno has limited options, because he believes so, low self esteem. Mistake

He finds her cheating. He lies and victimizes him. the first form of gaslighting. Otieno starts doubting his sanity. the first form of manipulation. Degradation of self confidence. Self worth wanes. They are deep, 1 year 4 months in this. Twist some strings, and Otieno...

...strats dancing to her tunes. The coochie is fire. He wont lament. Mwende fails to come home one day. Comes the following day. He is furious. asks her where she has been. "Girls night out". He starts being aggressive and inquisitive." Why didn't you tell me? I waited whole..

...night". She starts getting agitated too. "Si unipige baas'. This, and this gentlemen, is a sign of a toxic bitch. She is no sane lady. A lady who incites you to beat her. A lady who sees violence as a viable option. A lady who manipulates a man to lay hands on her.

Its deep. He can't move on because he has been told he will never find someone like her. He believes he is trash. No romantic future. He no longer talks with his friends. He cant move on because he doesnt know where to start from. He is almost through with school. He needs...

..a wife and has told his parents he is marrying soon. Also, the toxicity is gradual. it gets initiated at a slow pace until some point of total control and no return. He is Mwende's play toy. Poor Otieno.

Second Scenario
Namvua and Njoro.
They are both repulsive. They meet at work having been in various toxic relationships. They are the real perpetrators of toxicity. Bad meets evil. Back at home, flying sufurias, frequent slaps, wwe matches, damage of property, fire sex!!! Repeat!

they are the agent of chaos. They know how to run such toxic vibes. If you see them, you will think they will end themselves. You advise, they keep coming back to wars. Repeat. Fire sex, burning desires, battery. there is no saving them. Its nature of life. They have normalized..

...violence in the name of love. They are addicted to it. they even drink together to fuel their anger. there is no saving them. They can make you question relationships and love. Anyway, i wont right from a lady's perspective, because i a man. That, they can tell us. What..

i know about toxic relationships.
gaslighting and feeling guilty all the time. This is beacause you have been made to think you are worthless. Shifting blame and being victimized every other time. Walk away at the word go, first red flag. Dont apologize for shit you have...

...not done. always stand by your word.
2. Dishonesty and disrespect Especially disrespect to your circle of close friends. Constant lies and cover ups. Walk away. They are other nice humans out there who deserves you.

3. Manipulative and curtailing of each others freedom. You are restricted to watch a game, go to a salon, go to a work trip. Walk away you imbecile. You are always worthy to some else

4. Fighting constantly. This is by arguing given any chance. You cant even remember the days you were at peace. Finding unnecessary arguments and thriving in it. Walk away

5. Yelling and insults and infliction of physical injuries. Constant shouting and use of derogatory terms. Abusive terms. Driving yourselves to physical fights. Injuries. This is the purest form of toxic relationship. Just walk away. Violence is not the solution

6. Obsessing. Constant ruminating about your partner. Without him, i am nothing, without her i wont function. Wanting to spend every time with your partner, texting and calling every time as if it is the end of the world. Bullshit.

Feeling guilty every time about yourself and feeling that you are walking on a delicate surface like eggshells. Every time you blame yourself, every time you think you are in the wrong because you have been made to think so. walk away

Always try to find a way of identifying the first red flags. Listen to your friends and be your own decision maker. Once you are in a toxic relationship, its hard coming back from it. Anyway, mambo ya mapenzi achia watu wawili