Thread by @GbengaWemimo

If you are a Christian brother, courting a Christian sister and the two of you have agreed to get married but somewhere along the line you changed your mind for one reason or the other, please do the honourable thing, sit with her face to face and tell her the truth
Just as you

sat with her and told her you wanted to marry her, do the same as you call it off
Dont hide behind a dream, a prophecy, a vision, or a word of knowledge even of that was truly the reason you were calling it off
Don't lay the blame at the feet of the Holy Spirit or other ministers

of God
Don't act as if you wanted to go along with the plans but "God" is the one breaking her heart on your behalf. Be honourable, be sorry, explain your reasons in the natural (However unreasonable they might be) and be very kind. Assure her that you know God has better plans

for the two of you but somehow you are not convinced you are the right guy for her.
Don't cop out or ghost her
Don't block her phone number and/or all social media platforms where you can communicate
Don't start acting like a snake because you do not want to bear responsibility

for her pain at that moment
Ladies must please learn how to do this too
I have seen cases where the lady will start praying that the guy should break up with her because she does not want to be responsible for breaking up a relationship
That is sheer stupidity
It's like realizing

you are driving in the wrong direction and praying that God should turn the car around for you because you don't want to admit that you have been driving in the wrong direction all along
That's just lame!
The moment you realize you have boarded a vehicle going towards the wrong

destination, you should do everything to disembark or if you're driving, you must turn the car around
Treat that fellow with dignity
Treat that sister with dignity
Remember that you owe each other a duty to respect and be forthright with each other
Yes, he or she might cry

It is a natural reaction
Don't be impatient or dismissive
Don't resort to emotional blackmail
Don't embarrass each other in any way
Don't send messages full of bile and venom
Either as the one breaking off the relationship or the one being told things wont work out as planned

You are royalty and as such your blood is Christ
You can take a dead seed and produce a living tree from it
The news that you have given or received is good in so many ways
You may not see that immediately but it is better to be told it is over than to assume there is still a

relationship when there is none
A one-sided relationship robs its participant of self-esteem
It is best that all cards are on the table and yes if you have met somebody else (This is not usually the way Christian courtship works, but I am addressing a generation that has decided

on many things and concluded on many things before learning how that thing really works)
Please be forthright!
Tell her or him you met somebody else
Dont say you saw a vision or got a prophecy or had a dream or were given this person by an angel etc
Say "I have been unfaithful

to our agreement to be together
I met somebody and I want to do the right thing by calling our relationship off"
If you're dating a persuasive guy and he turned up the charm to convince you to stay in the relationship with him after you have broken it off, please say NO
Dont be

spineless
And brother, it is okay for a lady to break up with you sir. Don't be one of those guys who would say "A lady cannot break up with me, I must be the one to walk away" Such an ego is a fruit of the flesh
I'd rather a lady walks than get married to me and give me "hell"

Don't let him or her discover you are seeing someone else by chance or mistake
Please grow up
Finally, if you claim you are full of the Holy Spirit and you walk in the spirit as you ought to, there are certain things that you must watch out for
1. A vague message (Prophecy or

word of knowledge) that you have to be guessing its meaning or assuming its meaning
A lot of young believers find their lives manipulated through such vague prophecies
God knows you by name and He dwells in you
Why would he be speaking to you in riddles? Are you not greater than

Moses whom he spoke with Mouth to Mouth?
Have you not been filled with the fullness of God in every way?
So this pastor was invited to your church and he says "I see you climbing an escalator going downwards. The more you climb the more you remain in one spot"
And you conclude

that he is talking about your relationship, so you break it up!
Wow.
Suddenly God is giving you fill in the gap puzzles to fill in order to determine the course of your life in Christ
Was that how Jesus was led?
Was that how Peter was led?
Was that how Paul was led?
Is that how

you should be led?
If your Mummy or Daddy said NO to the relationship because your choice does not settle well with them, please tell him or her the truth
Don't hide behind any spiritual manifestation
Don't be a coward and a cad
Don't make the Holy Spirit the fall guy
He has

feelings too!
Two believers can marry for love
I know many of us have been told we must hear a voice and have a dream and all
I have counseled many young couples and I assure you 80% get married for love
They might cook up one "dream or a leading" to satisfy religion but in truth

they are doing it for all
It is okay for two mature, born again, & "ready" believers to fall in love and get married
Unless we all insist on pretending "We heard from God" when the going is good and "Unhearing from God" when things go south
Many stayed in the wrong relationship

because they said they heard from God when they didn't and they don't want to have to admit they made a mistake
There is a purpose to Christian marriage that is beyond the man and the woman
A believer who is walking as led by the spirit can never miss it

Finally, one of the reasons sex before marriage is not a good idea is because it complicates things
Sex blurs the lines of reason
It leads to a guilty conscience and emotional issues
It is best to keep your relationship clean so that you can maintain a clear head while in it!