Thread by @QuinnyPig

Today is Amazon's Earnings day, and true to form I will livetweet the call!

Will @awscloud be spun off?

Will the powerpoint slides feature a new template?

Will analysts remember that Amazon has a Cloud division?

Stay tuned for another episode of "As The Cloud Yearns"

(Periodic reminder that the single stock I own outside of an index fund is six shares of $AMZN that I've held for years. Not for any hope of financial gain, but because one glorious day I will shitpost via shareholder resolution.)

AWS earnings beat estimates at $13.5B for 2021 Q1 because nobody listens to me and turns their EC2 instances off when they're done with them.

Disney and @awscloud deepen their partnership; cloud continues to ship a lot of Goofy nonsense.

Amazon continues to struggle with properly titling PDFs. WorkDocs sheds a single tear.

Now @awscloud revenue is 12% of all of Amazon's.
Growth accelerated to 32%.
Employee compensation did the same, right?

I used to have to make nuanced arguments to @awscloud staff that changing companies was the best way to get ahead. Now I need only slap them upside the head and point to @aselipsky.

I'm tickled pink that the @awscloud earnings call is being livestreamed out via @fastly.

Fun fact: Amazon's quarterly profit annualizes to $25K per each of its 1.3 million employees.

Be sure to mark your calendars; it's the very definition of rudeness if you don't wish every Amazonian you know a Happy Prime Day this June.

https://twitter.com/DelRey/status/1387876633072263170?s=20

While we wait for the call to begin, The Duckbill Group announced that our @awscloud Lambda bill is now over $80 a month.

And we start with the call at long last.

Brian Olsavsky (CFO) is on the call to field questions.

Starting with last mile delivery questions.

I listen with half an ear in case they mention the @awscloud Snowmobile.

"We're not a Powerpoint company" says Amazon, not that they had to.

Wait, that's not right. Hey @amazon IR, why is the slide portion of your earnings webcast the slides from three months ago?

An @awscloud question about the backlog. Presumably sales, not features.

$52.9 billion backlogged over the next 3 years. Up about 55%. That's people committing to spend in return for discounting, in case you wondered. Think EDPs and PPAs joining hands.

If you had "It's still Day One" on your $AMZN bingo card, DRINK!

An analyst gets themselves dis-invited from future calls by asking about Prime Day without wishing the Amazonians a happy one.

A question from Bank of America about @awscloud and also with a barking dog in the background.

If we hear the dog, we get to see the dog, @BankofAmerica! Have you no respect for the rules?!

"Is the @awscloud acceleration in any particular vertical or company profile?"

AWS:

Direct quote. I kinda thought that to work at Amazon you had to understand how dogs work?

https://twitter.com/SYerunkar/status/1387889342639599618?s=20

Final question from @MorganStanley.

1. "What are you most excited about to improve the consumer offering?"
2. "What have you learned about the Echo journey?"

On the first, boosting 1-day shipping back to normal levels post-pandemic in Europe. In the US, non-specific last mile incremental delivery improvement. In Prime Video, they want more awards plz. Also LotR coming soon.

On the Echo portion: More hardware choices, making Alexa smarter, embedding it into more devices throughout the home.

And thus ends the call.

Let's summarize!

Cloud: Growing.
Boxes: Flowing.
CSAT: Glowing.
Employee retention: Slowing.
Alexa goal: Knowing.
Employee comp: Plateauing.