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Corey Quinn Profile picture
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27 Apr, 23 tweets, 7 min read
My mother is visiting. Ask her mostly anything!

“Yes, I admit I gave birth to him and am probably responsible for his sick sense of humor.”
"THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS PROUD!" She's spreading her arms like Jesus on the cross.
(She's Jewish, and thus responsible for the crucifixion.)
"I love long hair on a man." Then she winked. And now I'm extremely uncomfortable.
"There were early indications, but then I started spending more time in the principal's office defending him than I did taking him to the park."
"You mean how I felt about ill-equipped people who had no idea how to handle my son? Not great."
She just described S3 and called it "Foot Locker by Amazon."

I just got upstaged something *FIERCE* by my own mother.
"Forget commit, he was incredible at disagreeing."
"He appeared in a basket on my doorstep, what else was I going to do? I recognize potential so I didn't throw him to the wolves."
"Thank you so much, I'm extremely proud of him. Almost as proud as I was when he super-glued his bully's locker shut in high school. It's not why he got thrown out, but frankly it belongs on his résumé."
"So many things, but he's feeding me this week so I have to behave myself."
"I have no idea what he actually does, so I don't really know what ten years is going to change."
"Easy: @bequinning."
"Corey has explained this to me countless times. I smile and nod, and have no idea on God's green earth what he does."
"What he does with his hair is none of my business."
"He memorized 'The Giant Jam Sandwich' when he couldn't have been more than three years old."
"I can't think of a more endearing way to describe him. Thank you."
"The time he corrected a middle school teacher's spelling, she said he was wrong, he came back with a dictionary, she said the dictionary was wrong, and he just stared at her with a look of pity."
“ABSOLUTELY NOT.”
“Take five steps backwards, a couple of deep breaths, and have faith that he’ll do well for himself.”
“Since he got his life where he wants it as an adult (his biggest achievement!), I don’t see him making too many mistakes. Mostly because he doesn’t call me enough.”
“Perfecting the high art of sarcasm.”
“Relax. It’ll work out. Be there for them, love them unconditionally, try and occasionally fail not to be a helicopter parent. They’ll eventually give up their diapers; trust me.”
“Corey’s hair is Corey’s business.”

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More from @QuinnyPig

Corey Quinn Profile picture
26 Apr
So a few weeks ago I talked about @awscloud compensation being below market.

A lot of folks were saying I was wrong, being unfair, etc.

One person figured they’d be data driven and test the theory by applying elsewhere.
They make ~$230k-ish target comp at AWS. Because of stock that’s somewhere between 280-290k (back weighted of course).
The first offer has come in. $225k cash. $800k in RSUs (evenly vesting over the next four years because the new company isn’t looney tunes).

That’s roughly a $200k a year increase at a company that isn’t FAANG, but a solidly respectable company.

Interview. Find out.
Read 7 tweets
Corey Quinn Profile picture
22 Apr
Career Advice From My Own Experience 🧵

So once upon a time I worked in a shop where the ops folks were divided into two teams.

AppOps, which handled the care and feeding of the application the company ran, and SysOps, which handled maintaining the Linux servers.
I was on the SysOps team. We handled filesystems, monitoring via Nagios, datacenter buildouts (this was pre-cloud), filesystem work, etc.

We were sysadmins. Today those jobs are called DevOps or SRE. Same job, better pay.
The AppOps teams started with the care and feeding of Jboss or Tomcat or whatever the hell middleware we used in that era, and went into the app from there.

They communicated constantly with the app developers and knew heaps about Java heaps.
Read 8 tweets
Corey Quinn Profile picture
20 Apr
In an effort to broaden my mass-market appeal, I will attempt to livetweet today's #AppleEvent in this thread in something approaching my usual keynote livetweet style.

My tweet threads are to "shitposting" as Macbooks are to "laptops;" both involve garbage and the keyboard.
The best #AppleEvent streaming experience is on Apple devices using Safari. Other browsers "may be able to access the stream" but I've seen enough of these to recognize a "go fuck yourself" when I see one.
The "Audio descriptions" are hilarious. It's trying to explain what's happening. "A blue line swoops in from the top right and then the lower left, then swoops up back to the left. A thick yellow line moves up from the left and become slight green."
Read 49 tweets
Corey Quinn Profile picture
20 Apr
Someone who only points out the good or the bad about a company is a zealot and can generally be safely ignored.

There's no company I can't say nice or nasty things about...
Nice: It turned pillows from "this thing you buy wherever" to something branded, and created jobs to make lots and lots of pillows.

Nasty: Ideally one of those pillows will be used to smother their CEO in his sleep.
Nice: Oracle Cloud is technically excellent and doesn't get enough attention for what it does well.

Nasty: It's a heavy, heavy lift to recommend it for greenfield projects just because "you should use Oracle" sounds like terrible advice without heavy contextual bounding.
Read 5 tweets
Corey Quinn Profile picture
19 Apr
To Whom It May Concern,

I'd like to recommend that you hire J. Random Person at your company. They'd be a specific asset to your company, team, and frankly life.
We work together at a company with 135K other people. For some reason, they've asked me to write this instead of people who are directly familiar with the quality of their work.
Fear not! I've conducted diligence and searched news.google.com to validate that they're not publicly accused of atrocities. I've also punched their name into Twitter's search and found nothing notable there either.
Read 6 tweets
Corey Quinn Profile picture
16 Apr
Hot take rule of thumb: the longer someone’s role descriptions on their LinkedIn history are, the crappier of an employee they were.
Yes there are exceptions in both directions, but a lot of the most capable people I’ve ever worked with have one line describing the role.

And some of the worst have eight paragraphs of nonsense.
“Shit Steve, you put more effort into writing this than you ever put into the job…”
Read 4 tweets

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