-Attempt to avoid it
-Refuse to acknowledge it
-Actively resist it
-Sacrifice agency
-Strive to get back to way things were
These pitfalls result from a historical homeostasis model, which says order -> disorder -> order.
But it's not accurate!
A better way to think about change and disorder is what scientists call allostasis, which literally means "stability through change."
Unlike homeostasis, allostasis describes a pattern of order, disorder, REorder.
It says healthy systems engage, adapt, and move forward.
Navigating change is a skill you can develop. I've come to call this skill "rugged flexibility."
-To be rugged is to be tough, determined, durable.
-To be flexible is to adapt, to bend without breaking.
Put them together and the result is a gritty endurance and anti-fragility.
Rugged flexibility relies upon practicing six key principles:
1. Open up to change 2. Build strength AND adaptability 3. Expect it to be hard 4. Become diverse and robust 5. Respond not react 6. Make meaning on the other side
1. Open up to change
Resisting change and disorder may feel good in the short-term, but invariably leads to distress in the long-term. You’ve got to engage with what is in front of you, and wisely—which is what the following principles emphasize.
2. Build strength and adaptability
Strength without adaptability is rigidity. Adaptability without strength is instability.
Identify your core values, the few things that make you who you are, the hills that you’ll die on. Outside of those core values, be willing to adapt.
3. Expect it to be hard
If you're running a marathon and expect it to feel easy at mile 20, you're in for a rude awakening. If you expect it to feel awful, you’ll be prepared to grind; perhaps on a good day you’ll even be pleasantly surprised.
This is true for change too.
4. Become diverse and robust
The wider your knowledge, skills, experiences, and perspectives, the better. If you can cultivate a diverse and robust identity, you can take a blow in one part of your system but move forward in others.
5. Respond not react
Holocaust survivor and philosopher Viktor Frankl wrote, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
Think 4 P's to help: pause; process; plan; proceed.
6. Make meaning on the other side
Research shows that we look back on challenging periods in a more connected and meaningful light than we experience them. Sometimes nothing makes sense until you get to the other side, and that’s okay.
Just keep showing up.
The goal is not to be stable and therefore never change.
Nor is the goal to sacrifice all sense of stability, passively surrendering yourself to the whims of life.
The goal is to meet somewhere in the middle, to be both grounded and accepting of change, rugged and flexible.
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Everything benefits from paying close attention. Paying close attention is the foundation to doing good—and by doing good repeatedly, you start being good—in all aspects of life.
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Current ethos works against paying close attention:
-Quick fixes or "hacks" for everything.
-Hot takes on all subject matter, from murder to politics to Royal Family of England.
Happens most on social media but sadly, it's becoming increasingly common in major publications too.
We are, as the cultural critic Neil Postman first wrote in 1985, "amusing ourselves to death."
Makes you wonder: perhaps one reason that so many people are unhappy—and so many organizations, communities, and entire societies the same—is the degradation of paying close attention.
This is about as good and honest of an essay as you'll read on navigating the emotional swings, self-judgement, hope, despair, and ruts of the pandemic.
"You don’t need to feel good to get going. You need to get going to give yourself a chance to feel good."
This insight—the basis of acceptance and commitment therapy—changed my life.
It is so counter to the cult of positive thinking and wellness. But it's what actually works.
The stuff Lindsay writes about—judging herself for feeling good some days and then judging herself for not feeling good on other days—is a common refrain during COVID-19.
This pandemic has been challenging for so many people in so many ways. EVERYONE is going through something.
A psychological trait that motivates you to respond to stressful circumstances in ways that produce resiliency.
A key to cultivating the existential courage that facilitates the ongoing search for meaning in life.
Here are three ways to develop it 👇👇
Commitment.
Accept situation you are in and move forward anyway. Resist temptation to turn away from obstacles; lean into them instead.
Research: "Rather than sink into isolation and alienation, do hard work of staying involved with the people and events going on around you."
Control.
Figure out what you can do to productively influence a situation, and then take action.
Research: “Struggling to have an influence on the outcomes going on around you, even if this may seem difficult in certain circumstances, is key to hardiness.”
The indisputable and measurable benefits of a consistent physical practice include enhanced:
-Physical health
-Mental health
-Cognition
-Emotional control
-Confidence
-Mastery
-Creativity
Regular physical practice isn’t just for elite athletes. It’s for everyone.
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I am a professional writer and physical activity is an integral part of my job. I’m hard-pressed to come up with a job for which it shouldn’t be, whether you are a lawyer, physician, founder, or parent.
It’s not about getting fit for Instagram. It’s about getting fit for life.
Consistency beats intensity.
There is no need to be heroic. It is far better to take five thirty-minute walks per week than to crush yourself in a single CrossFit workout once every two weeks.
Quick summary based on 10 yrs of research and working with high-performers across disciplines.
Unconscious incompetence.
No amount of technology is going to help you. All it will do is further confuse you.
What you need here is simple:
-Coaching
-Reading
-Studying
-Learning the fundamentals
Conscious incompetence.
Technology can help, especially when paired with coaching. The feedback you get from a wearable or a measurement and tracking scheme (so long as it's accurate) is beneficial to learning your mind-body system, as well as teaching persistence and restraint.