I'm walking away from social media today and I am going to be very honest with why that is. Take the piss and you will be on instant block, I am not fucking around.
I feel like the appointment of an "opposition" to the Nazi government we have that has already used austerity
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as a means of murdering 130,000 sick/ disabled people, states I can expect nothing better or more hopeful from my future and indeed, it's probably going to get worse.
I don't feel like the woman who sourced a rented house in spite of no references or deposit, in 2 days flat
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I don't feel like the woman who crowd funded a wheelchair in 4 days . I don't feel like the woman who forced my kids school dinners to be fit for their growth. I don't feel like the woman who forced myself round a muddy field in pain all day Saturday for the love of the kids
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or the one who wrote out her suppliments for the doctor and found it came to 27 lines of handwriting (all but one, which was a gift, I am paying for). I don't feel like I have any fight left in me actually.
ME hurts, it's frustrating, upsetting and cruel. But sometimes
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people have got better. Or at the very least raised their children out of their own poverty.
To do that, during the last 10 years, since my government declared a campaign on my fellow patients through the use of fake science, is hard enough.
To do that through cut on cut,
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and through and all out assault on travelling life, and through pain, with no resources, and having to come up with unique solutions time and again to meet even the most basic need- food, housing, medical aids... It's a lot
It's a lot when a better world is possible.
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A change of government has throughout been the one hope of ending the oppression. I've watched Tory policy claim victim after victim around me, and seen every ladder out of rock-bottom kicked away, but there's ever been that possibility, that they could be stopped. AKA Hope
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This weekend Starmer was extremely clear he doesn't care for hope. He's bringing in a team to ensure that hope is dead. They will champion child poverty by turning their backs on the poor and be more austere than the incumbent scum, while taking away any means of objection
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I'm at the point I cannot manufacture any enthusiasm for being alive. Why bother. It's cruel and it's dark, everything is a fight, my country hates me on so many levels and I might as well fucking die.
That's how I feel about it all.
I don't matter. I am beneath human.
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So yeah... I won't be in today.
Got soul searching to do about why actually bother & if/ how anything might be salvaged now.
Can't even fuck off abroad, the bastards removed my automatic rights to settle within the majority of my continent.
Pass. I have no answers.
10/10
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I have been polite and I have been nice for a Really Long Fucking Time at this point (over a year). My patience just wore out.
At first I didn't have anything but defence for Keir Starmer because the initial Tory attacks were both bollocks and within my capacity to refute.
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Then I kept my mouth shut, because God knows, when the man *I* had wanted to see lead got elected, the little bitches really should have kept it zipped, and I, being a better person, decided to extend courtesy to them such as they had denied me. "Give him a chance" they said.
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And it wore on and I felt like had given it a chance to be fair, and another one, and another one, and where was Keir? Where was the opposing?
Then the Free School Meals debate, which was probably the one important time KS and I aligned.
It shouldn't take an Oxford educated, white, middle aged, privileged male pillar of the scientific press to get ill before any patient gets taken seriously, but now that @GeorgeMonbiot has arrived, perhaps at last, we can DO SCIENCE on #MECFS
When we DID SCIENCE (in the rest of the world in the last 2 decades, just not in England) we discovered biomarkers. We discovered findable, physical signs, that show measurable changes are present in multiple systems.
Yes. ME has been found. You didn't know that? Ask why not?
To be explicitly clear here, so you can be in no doubt, the words "immunological, cellular and neurological abnormalities" here tell you what has been found.
Biomarkers.
Broken things that show up if you look in the right places.
Ah fuck it. The handle that adjusts the seat height in the car has snapped. Worse still it has snapped at the setting RD uses- not the setting I use. I have sent RD out with a set of grips to put it where I use it and banned him from driving it. He's sulking. Tough. He can walk.
It means it has to be fixed before school reopens on Monday or I have to do the school run myself and realistically I can't.
We are now trying to work out if it can be fixed.
Bad news. If your car seat is designed to move and no longer does, it will fail the MOT.
We have established the worst case scenario- replace the seat entirely. Looking at around £110 if it comes to that.
Still researching if a less nuclear option can be identified.
I need to sit with the ramifications of this one for a while.
The fake-science that for years told ME patients they were either deluded or malingering... Was funded/supported by the DWP... So they could legitimise economic violence.
Nearly forgot to tell you a freshly arrived tale about the Little One's exploits at school (with the boy who thinks he wants to be a Nazi).
Remember LO had an altercation with a boy who wants to be a Nazi? LO slapped him over it.
They had to work together on a project...
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Kids were put to work in pairs (not of their own choosing) to make a cardboard model of a village. They could put things into the village that they wanted to see there.
LO wanted to put renewable energy into the village and a badger set.
Mini Nazi didn't. (MN for short).
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MN wanted to build a military base and a bridge. The tiny foes were individually working at opposite ends of the village.
LO built some solar panels, before *accidentally* totally wiping the military base off the map, glue and all - then somewhat damaging the bridge too!
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