darth™ Profile picture
11 May, 5 tweets, 1 min read
your phone answering machines had little magnetic tape cassettes in them that u had to fast forward and rewind to hear phone calls u missed
i am serious
there were little cassettes inside
and the biggest fear u had coming home was seeing that fuckin answering machine light blinking which meant some body called u

and left a message
getting rid of a home phone line was liberating not because u had a cell phone now but because u could get rid of the answering machine
now your iphone literally answers the missed calls and transcribes the message so u do not even have to listen to the person trying to sell u an extended warranty on your car when u just ride a bicycle it is just written down for u
hearing from people who have saved important phone messages on their answering machines for years and it is touching tbh

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More from @darth

12 May
why not stay and listen and then rebut her statements and stand up for what you think she is bullshitting u about
hiding in the fuckin cloakroom really shows how fuckin pathetic this entire party is
Read 4 tweets
10 May
why not build 500 one million dollar boats jeff
how does this work exactly
jeff gets on his private helicopter
flies to the support yacht helipad
jumps out of the support yacht
swims to his 500 million boat

is there a support dinghy that takes jeff from the support yacht to the 500 million dollar boat
Read 5 tweets
10 May
no one is blaming the fuckin horse, bob
i mean what kind of utter asshole thinks the horse is the problem

Read 5 tweets
6 May
do i put too much faith in google translate at times

perhaps
Read 4 tweets
6 May
i ordered eight pounds of carrots instead of eight carrots once i am not going to judge here
listen i am not whining even tho the order form dropdown menu defaults to pounds but u can change it to pieces but if you change the number it changes back to the default pounds but it is all in the past now i have moved on
Read 9 tweets
5 May
go get your vaccine at CVS u can just walk in i am serious
getting your vaccine card stamped at CVS
is this a common thing because it really should be a common thing

Read 7 tweets

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