Thread by @michaelharriot

Yall, this story seems batshit insane but it’s even crazier than it looks.

At thread:

nbcnews.com/news/amp/ncna1…

The University of SC President resigned after he plagiarized a speech at graduation. He also referred to THE SCHOOL WHERE HE IS PRESIDENT as the “University of California.”

Now I don’t wanna say he was drunk, but…

One time, HE SAID that he thinks you can reduce the “contributing factors” sexual assaults like cutting down on drinking. Maybe he”s just bad with words.

Or maybe he’s dumb.

See, when Caslon got the job, it basically came down to him and another candidate, William Tate.

Now, I don’t want to sound biased, but Dr. William Tate might be the most qualified motherfucker in the history of motherfuckers

First of all, when I refer to him as I’m not talking that Rand Paul bullshit. Dude studied psychiatric epidemiology, which means he… ummm…I don’t know, sees if Mike Epps is crazy, maybe?

You gotta admit, those are some long-ass words.

(Wait… y’all know Rand Paul gave himself a medical license, right? Seriously, he created his own medical licensing board, gave himself a license, and then dissolved the board.

Also, he has no bachelors degree. He’ll tell you he has one, though

Anyway, back to Tate, Dude actually studied how to teach the brain things. Then he studied how to put it into practice by studying Social Policy.

Also, he was president of @AERA_EdResearch

Basically AERA is like when all the big brains in the US unite like Voltron

I’ve spoken at their summer conference, which is HUGE.

Don’t ever go.

I’m sure I was the dumbest person there.

Tate was essentially president of the biggest brains. There was just 1 thing wrong with his resume:

He was Black

I wouldn’t down Caslen’s educational career, tho

He was appointed as superintendent of West Point and served there for 5 years. Also, he …. Ummmm … he shot at things.

Seriously, y’all. He literally went from commanding a tank unit to president of West Point. #

To be fair, though…He didn’t do shit.

The job of superintendent at West Point is kinda ceremonial. You make speeches. And Casken actually got in trouble for going around IN UNIFORM, making speeches and videos for the Christian Embassy, a right wing group that is EXACTLY what it’s name sounds like.

So the finalists for the U of SC job was lthe King of the Big Brains, teacher of teachers, a LITERAL Mr. Know-It-All

Vs.

A white man

That’s it. He was just a white man. He wasn’t extraordinary. His record wasn’t unblemished

And I haven’t even gotten to the crazy part yet.

So the candidates met the students, and the students really liked Tate (the black dude). Now, I will admit that Tate had two advantages:

1. He had a doctorate degree. Since U of SC is a postgraduate university, that’s not surprising. But here’s the thing.

You’re probably saying: “Of course he did! You can’t be CONSIDERED for a job in Higher Ed without a Ph. D”

Guess what: Caslan didn’t!

Tate had 1 more advantage. He served as VP of Academic Affairs & taught at a place that’s very similar, in many ways, to U of SC. It’s called:

The University of South Carolina.

That’s right. Tate had more experience, more education, more ability, a better record and actually worked at the school. And… (Hold up while I switch to all caps)

WHAT THE FUCK IS THE “VICE” PART OF “VICE PRESIDENT” SUPPOSED TO MEAN???

Bruh, the white man.

Can you imagine how it must feel to work under mediocre white folk who you KNOW aren’t as qualified as you?

There’s a secret term Black people have for this feeling. It’s called: “Every day”

Anyway, Caslan got the job… but that’s not the end of the story

If you feel like I’m being tough on the white dude by calling him a mediocre white boy hack who got the job over a black man only because of White privilege, that’s not what I’m saying.

That’s what actually happened.

postandcourier.com/politics/usc-f…

It turns out, he was not even in the RUNNING for the job and his powerful friends just GAVE IT TO HIM.

He didn’t even qualify for the playoffs, yet somehow made the Super Bowl!

So, after the students protested, the faculty protested & even people on the board protested, after the accreditation body said “yall fucked up” after the school’s biggest donor said it was fucked up, guess what these motherfuckers said?

Nah, bruh, you gotta guess…

Aight:

These top-lip-losing motherfuckers said:

“Why are y’all trying to make this about race?”

I swear, I’m not an envious man, but if I had 1 tenth of 1% of the AUDACITY of a white man, I’d cut that shit with baking soda and sell it by the kilo.

One dude, Everton Burroughs (whose name and voice sounds like he can only achieve an erection if he’s watching a slave be whipped with a cat o’ 10 tails)* blamed it on Kamala Harris and the Democrats.

*a cat-o-9-tails doesn’t have enough power

Anyway, the ABSOLUTE great and happy ending to this story is not that this mediocre white boy lost his job for stealing words at a graduation for people who are actually more educated than him.

The great end to this story is that U of SC STILL DOESNT HAVE A PRESIDENT!

Because last week, just DAYS before this shit happened, William Tate told the University of South Carolina to suck his dick ( probably not in those words because he’s smart, but goddamn I hope so)

And this happened

birminghamtimes.com/2021/05/willia…

Again, I know I say it all the time but it’s my favorite saying:

Y’all can’t kill us and we won’t die.