Thread by @warikoo

10 reasons we get scared in life

A thread...

1. We get scared in life because we do not know for sure how we got, where we have got in life.

So we do not know how to get it again, if we lose it.

“I want to join this mediocre MBA school, because I am scared I won’t get in anywhere else.”

“I want to say yes to this toxic relationship, because I am scared I won’t get it again.”

“I want to say yes to this shitty job, because I am scared I won’t one again.”

Make the effort to understand what got you to where you are. Even if you got there by luck.

2. We get scared in life because we assume on behalf of others.

And we think they will always react in the worst imagined scenario in have in our head.

“I can’t tell this to my parents because I am scared they will disown me.”

“I can’t ask this question publicly because I am scared people will laugh at me.”

“I can’t reach out for help because I am scared people will think I am weak/incapable.”

If it is important for you, ask. Do not assume for someone else. Let them answer if it’s important for them.

3. We get scared in life because we do not attach probabilities to events in life

We think all events have equal probabilities.

“She hasn’t answered my phone. Must be busy/dead/hurt/not-interested/angry/ignoring.”

“If I quit this job then I will be poor/unhappy/laughed at/rejected/judged/misunderstood/banished.”

“I better complete this task. Else I will lose/be fired/scolded/compared/reprimanded/demoted.”

While everything can technically happen, the probability varies dramatically.

4. We get scared in life because we compare ourselves to others.

We feel we are losing the race of life and someone else is winning.

“She is making so much more than me. I am scared I am already late.”

“How are they so confident when asked something? I am scared I will never be that smart.”

“Look at how happy they are. I am scared I will never have that in life.”

If you have to, be scared that you are the same as you were yesterday.
That is the only worthy comparison.

5. We get scared in life because of the damage we have been through.

We think our past will continue to determine our future.

“I am scared I will never be able to trust anyone else ever again.”

“My first manager’s treatment scares me of every manager now.”

“I am scared my childhood trauma will never allow me to be normal.”

What happened to you was not in your control.
The choice to heal yourself is yours.

6. We get scared in life because we stopped questioning.

We were told the world behaves in a certain way and we accepted that to be the only way.

“If I do not get married by XXX, I am scared I will never find anyone.”

“If I do not earn this much by this age, I am scared I will never be successful.”

“If I do not get into this college, I am scared no good company will ever hire me.”

“The rules of the world were designed by people who were, at an average, no smarter than you are”
- Steve Jobs

7. We get scared in life because we do not know ourselves.

We rarely spend time with ourselves. We are always with someone or something.

“I am scared of what I might find, if I hear myself.”

“I am scared of what I might tell myself.”

“I am scared of what something someone says, will do to me. Why am I so fragile?”

If you truly know yourself, no one can ever defeat you mentally or emotionally.
Because everything becomes a fact. There are no opinions anymore.

8. We get scared in life because we want everything.

We never really know what is that ONE THING that we truly want. So we run after everything. And we can never get everything.

“Even though this job pays me well, treats me well, nurtures me, I am not happy. I don’t know why!”

“I am scared I will find that ideal partner I am looking for.”

“I am scared I will never be that friend who is funny, smart, has money, is fun.”

If we do not know what is it that we truly want in life, the next best thing we want is everything. And wanting everything is misery!

9. We get scared in life because things didn’t work out for us.

We feel all that effort was wasted. And we don’t know what else can be done.

“I gave it my all and it still failed. I am scared to try again.”

“I did everything that I could and yet it didn’t work out. I am scared there must be something wrong with me.”

“I am scared to get up, because I don’t to face dejection again”

Life = what we do + circumstances that we had nothing to do with

10. We get scared in life because of others.

We don’t fear failure.
We fear what people will think of us when we fail.

“Everyday people laugh at me because I took the unconventional path by choice, and failed at it.”

“What if my startup fails. Other founders will call me a loser.”

“I am scared if I am still single at 30, people will think there is something wrong with me.”

We can either accept the world’s definition of success.
And live their life.
Or define our own success and live ours!

My father went through a really tough time in life.
And early on, indirectly, he taught be the most valuable life lesson.

Risk and failure is a state of mind.
It cannot be measured.
We define it for ourselves.

That is true for fear as well.

There is no measurement of fear.
We all have our own yardsticks and our reasons.

Overcoming fear starts with acknowledging where it comes from.
What scares us in life, lies within us.

And if we dig deep to discover where it lies, we have a shot at finding why it lies there.

Being brave isn’t the absence of fear.
Being brave is having that fear but finding a way through it.

- Bear Grylls