1/ 3 weeks ago, I had a conversation with an overwhelmed new parent friend of mine. She said the baby cried a lot. My friend could catch no break. I asked for the baby's bedtime- baby had no bedtime. So, I shared parenting lessons (stuff tat worked for me with her)
2/ When we had #1, J was working full time, I was studying full time. My mom stayed with us from a few days to when #1 turned 3 months old. My mother-in-law told us from the beginning she could/would babysit BUT our baby had to have structure.
3/ bedtime was same time every day, whether he was at ours or his grandparents'. We put him down, drew the blinds, turned off the lights, left some music on. If he cried, we went in to see what was up, cuddle him ( without ever removing him from the room)
4/ we had a routine and stuck to it: tell him a story or read to him. BTW: the tradition of reading to the kids lasted way into when they could read themselves because they enjoyed it :)
5/ when he was old enough to have a favorite toy, he was allowed to take it to bed with him for comfort. There was a clear emaciation of spaces : no eating where he slept and vice versa
6/ because he was bottle-fed, it was easy to regulate his mealtimes pretty early on. Nap time was also same time every day. . From 3 months (?)when he could eat solids, we made it ourselves. Blending whatever he was allowed, a little at a time in case he had allergies
7/. There was a booklet that said what to introduce at what age ( and when in doubt, we checked out what Heinz and co. had in their baby food jars for his age group)
8/ Once he was able to sit upright without bobbing around , we fed him in his high chair. Once he could grip, he had his own spoon to try and feed himself while one of us fed him. By 2, he was feeding himself ( making a lot of mess for us to clean up but he enjoyed it)
8/ when #2,3 and 4 came, we were pros at creating and sticking to a structure that worked for us. It required energy and patience but we'd do it all over again
8/ Structure meant that J and I had time for and to ourselves; kids weren't as fussy as they might have been ; if I had anyone babysit them at home or outside of it, they knew what to expect
9/ my friend just called to say her 9 month old now has a regular bedtime ( and nap time). She sounded much more relaxed :) :) :) I feel soooooo wise and experienced :) :) #parentingtips
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