Share this page!

Virginia Heffernan Profile picture
Twitter logo
21 May, 7 tweets, 1 min read
Ohiiii DNC
You up?
You’re ignoring me
I’m Adam, a real person
We are begging you
We have never been so enraged
Heartbreaker bitch
Get your shit together
We must pass HR-1
Sorry we overreacted
Hey girl it’s Nancy Pelosi
Have you see that monster MTG?
We heard you voted for Donald Trump
So you’re saying you hate democracy?
I gave you everything
Barack Obama asked you out
You cruel ugly Republican
I wanted the best for you
You broke my heart
Whore
Oh whoops people thought I was hacked - nope. Or rather maybe I was self-hacked -
One personality (the one beset with DNC texts and memes) hacked the other more reasonable one.

Mea culpa @airbagmoments

• • •

Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh
　

Keep Current with Virginia Heffernan

Virginia Heffernan Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!

PDF

Twitter may remove this content at anytime! Save it as PDF for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video
  1. Follow @ThreadReaderApp to mention us!

  2. From a Twitter thread mention us with a keyword "unroll"
@threadreaderapp unroll

Practice here first or read more on our help page!

More from @page88

Virginia Heffernan Profile picture
16 May
For anyone thinking of tweeting about, say, Israel, I made this handy flowchart a few years ago to help you decide medium.com/message/death-…
Image
Image
Read 8 tweets
Virginia Heffernan Profile picture
15 May
Zero people need my opinion on mask use but what the hay:

My sole purpose in life these days is to proselytize for the vax.

So I have to think like Ned Flanders or a Jehovah’s Witness or Mormon or Scientologist on commission for how many appointments I book.
But like any good salesman or evangelist my techniques change depending on who I am trying to bend to my will.
Hippie antivaxers are a whole different kettle of fish from Trump antivaxers. People who think it’s expensive to get the (free) vax—they’re their own thing.
Sometimes not wearing a mask & telling people it’s bc I got the vax and feel so free finally, right? — that’s the best way. Other times, wearing one & bonding hating anti-mask assholes & how you definitely got the vax, right? No? Oh well lemme sign you up. Sometimes that does it
Read 5 tweets
Virginia Heffernan Profile picture
15 May
Sudden flashback to 7th grade when my best friend NEEDS TO TALK.

“A lot of us have been saying you are only into the Doors because of me.”
“Oh my God I’m so—“
“So I was thinking maybe you should get into Air Supply”
Deep moral failing at the time was not to have your own THING.

Is this still the case?
Also the devastation of those words, still hurts today:

Air Supply
Read 8 tweets
Virginia Heffernan Profile picture
13 May
My lemon 2019
Mac is in the shop & I am using a loaner iPad, my least favorite of all devices.
I just spent 20 minutes digging around for the right combo of USBs, USB-cs, “lightning” thingamabob, and good old 2-pronged plug to get things into the wall.
Mediating among cables and cords and apps that represent competition among tech companies AND planned obsolescence is a huge waste of anyone’s executive brain.
Read 10 tweets
Virginia Heffernan Profile picture
11 May
2 reasons I just heard for skipping the vax:

“I’m scared. I never even got a flu shot.”
and
“I already had Covid and I’m immune.”

Most people are not vax ideologues. They just have the usual resistance & confusions. A few words of reassurance or facts can bring them around!
More:

I heard it hurts a lot.
I don’t know which one I should get.
I hate needles.
I can’t afford it right now.
I just want to wait.

No pitched battle. Very simple to engage.
These are not the vaccine-resistant who get airtime for being loons. But I bet they are the majority of vax-resistant.

No culture war. Just scared or short on information.
Read 5 tweets
Virginia Heffernan Profile picture
9 May
The first ever terrifying episode of SNL $DOGE

+ ⁦@richstanislaw⁩
Earlier

I’m gonna sell at
I’m gonna sell at
I don’t
I’m gonna hold
A bump on Elon’s decent German accent
Read 6 tweets

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!

This site is made by just two indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3/month or $30/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!

Follow Us on Twitter!

Like this author's thread?

Get emails when @page88 has new unrolls!

Check out other threads from @page88!

Read all threads by @page88

:(