"A vaccination card probably isn't necessary to get through the Pearly Gates."

"Probably isn't necessary."

"Probably."

By God, you've outdone yourselves, @Snopes.
I'm still in stitches over this.
That Snopes fact-checked a satire site (which now happens regularly) is amusing.

That Snopes fact-checked something *actually impossible* for a living human to know without dying (the afterlife) is hysterical.

That Snopes had to modify the fact check with "probably" is just...
And of course, the icing on the cake, subtly buried within the humor of it all:

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More from @AF632

29 May
A memo went out. (A tidy thread.) ImageImageImageImage
Democrats are all suddenly against the filibuster. For one very apparent reason... ImageImageImageImage
They suddenly oppose the filibuster because they think they no longer need it. ImageImageImageImage
Read 7 tweets
28 May
I know nothing about "Californian?" I live in "Californian!"

Must have pissed this non-English-speaking troll off with video footage that went against a narrative he's trying to push. He's all over my mentions like a sweaty pubescent, sticky-handed teen on a Sears catalog.
I know English is not your native language. Either that or the California school system has allowed you to fail very, very badly. But my guess is, little brother, judging from your tweets, you're just another CCP stooge.
Little brother tweets almost exactly like the other CCP trolls we saw a while back angrily responding to tweets about Taiwan being a soverign nation, or support for Hong Kong protesters. This time, it's responding to Jan 6 stuff. Interesting, huh?
Read 7 tweets
27 May
"Today, the mood has changed."

Science is a mood ring that has inexplicably shifted colors from "this whack conspiracy theory must be silenced, you crazy nutter," to "well actually what had happened was that this was correct all along. Just disregard the nutter's 'told you so.'"
Just months ago, people were dismissed as xenophobic conspiracy theorists for suggesting a lab studying infectious diseases at the epicenter of a pandemic could have caused it by "experts" who reminded us it was just their culture to Ozzy Osborne down bats from live wet markets.
"Everybody sensible" was suggesting live wet markets, although barbaric, were just a part of their culture, like supermarkets are to ours, and we should respect that, even when sometimes the live animals in cramped cages and lack of cleanliness leads to global pandemics.
Read 5 tweets
26 Apr
"This announcement brought to you by plant-based company advertising, such as our sponsors over at Lightlife!"
"We're dedicated to saving our planet!"

No, you're not. You're dedicated to saving the stacks of cash your biased advertisers are giving you in exchange for your virtue-signaling.
Every time you see a corporation breathlessly telling you how much they care about saving the earth by switching to plant-based meat substitutes over actual meat, do a little digging and you'll find the plant-based meat substitute corporation behind it pushing the buttons.
Read 8 tweets
26 Apr
Beer ingredients:

🌱Barley (plant)
🌱Hops (plant)
🌰Yeast (fungus — plant)
💧Water (water, duh)

I'd like to know what kind of "beer" Chuck swills ordinarily that he'd have to specify this one was "plant-based."
I only drink the finest plant-based beer. Meat-based beer is simply too salty for my refined palate.
Oh look, a flock of meat-based turkeys just went through the yard. My meat-based dog barked at them.
Read 5 tweets
24 Apr
Big Indiana Jones vibes there, complete with the exact same sound. Image
Still laughing.
Read 8 tweets

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